Him & I

Jazzman

Jazzman take my blues away
Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play
Oh lift me, won't you lift me with ev'ry turn around
Play it sweetly, take me down, oh jazzman

----Jazzman, Carole King

June 27, 2018

Cait was in another navy blue dress, this one a ruched Giorgio Armani. But she was again sitting quietly to one side, while Grayson was in the spotlight. He held up the jersey, posed for the pictures and answered the questions. He smiled and joked and talked about how excited he was to be there, how he was looking forward to living in Salt Lake City. He answered the questions about being hated calmly and his response was perfect.  As happy as she was for him, she wasn't sure that she shared his excitement.

It felt like her life had been completely upended in the last week and she wasn't sure that she knew how to handle it. Seeing Grayson hold up a jersey with 24, instead of 3, was only the tip of the iceberg. It was just one more sign that they weren't in Durham anymore.

She knew she had to adjust, that they would both adjust. But for once, Grayson seemed to be handling it better than she was.

After being drafted in the first round, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from him. He was so happy. The smile barely ever left his face. And she wanted to share in that happiness. But she suddenly felt like she wasn't sure how she fit into his life anymore.

Everything was new and different and that worried her. What if he decided that he didn't really want to be tied down to a wife, now that he was an NBA player? What if she stopped being interesting to him when she was at home all day? What if he realized exactly how many other women would love to be with him? What if he didn't need her any more?

Cait tried to shut those thoughts down. She looked down at the ring on her finger and forced herself to remember the sweet, silly proposal. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her. He told her all the time that he loved her, that he wanted her. Just because they were moving two time zones away from Durham didn't mean those things would change.

She once again stayed quiet, kept the smile firmly in place, was the supportive fiancée who stayed out of the spotlight. It wasn't easy.

*****
July 1, 2018

Since Luke had to be in Las Vegas for his summer league, he and Rae decided to make a stop in Salt Lake City on the way and catch Grayson's first game. Cait was glad for the company, because Grayson had been busy pretty much all day, every day since they'd arrived.  He'd hosted a community event, signing autographs and giving away summer league tickets, and had looked so handsome in another black polo, this one with a Jazz logo, that her knees almost buckled.  And he had thrown himself into learning the Jazz system and getting ready for summer league. He generally made it back to the hotel just to collapse in bed.

Cait had been spending her days going for a run and then exploring Salt Lake City a bit.  She'd been there before for ski events, but hadn't spent a lot of time just learning her way around.

She'd rented her own car, but it occurred to her that they were going to have to do something a bit more permanent, probably have their cars shipped from Durham to here.  She'd started considering where they should live, but she really wanted Grayson to participate in that process and he hadn't had much time.

And Jared had still been trying to persuade her to schedule the meeting with the management at Park City. She'd held him off, explaining that she would only be in town for a short period before she headed to Las Vegas and promising that she'd consider it when she was in Salt Lake City for a longer period. She hoped that would buy her some time to figure some things out.