Him & I

Best Shot

I've struck out
I've been knocked down
More times than I can count
But that don't matter now
'Cause when you smile I see the sun sink down on a coast out in California
And because of you there's no doubt I'm not the man I was before you
I'm not saying that I'm perfect
Oh 'cause girl you know I'm not
But I'll love you with everything I've got
Girl, I'll give you my best shot
——Best Shot, Jimmie Allen

Grayson checked into the game against Memphis with four minutes left in the first quarter. He hit a three, the second one he took. But he didn't exactly play lockdown defense. And had a turnover.

The Jazz weren't really playing well as a team either. They were down seven at the half and it didn't get better in the third quarter, although they managed to pull within five. Grayson kept his seat on the bench. But they were down ten with five minutes remaining. And they lost, 114-104.

*****

Grayson spent the flight back to Salt Lake City trying to forget that he hadn't played well. Instead, he was thinking about what Joe had said to him.  Trying to examine his own feelings on this. 

He'd had lots of opportunity for introspection in his life, had spent plenty of time questioning why he did the things he did.  What was wrong with him.  For once, he was determined not to do or say something stupid in the heat of the moment.

He'd done that to Cait more than once and he wasn't going to this time.  She deserved better from him than him getting pissed off and saying stupid shit to her.  She'd been honest and had told him what was going on in advance, which demonstrated some growth on her part.  It was time for him to demonstrate his own kind of growth.

That meant being honest, but not discouraging her.  For the most part, that was what he'd done so far and he needed to just be prepared not to change course when she told him that she was going to do it.

No blowups.  No arguments.  He didn't want her to leave angry again.  Not this time. He wanted to do better.

*****

Grayson actually got home before Cait, who had watched his game in New York with Connor and her grandmother's bridge club, an experience that Connor flatly said he hoped never to repeat.  Cait had reminded them at least a dozen times to tone it down in front of her thirteen-year old brother. At least Ricky had been on the bench, which they had grumbled about but it kept them somewhat under control. And one of them waited until Cait was in the kitchen and away from Connor to ask her if Grayson's offense in the bedroom was better than his defense on the court.

As soon as the game was over, she delivered Connor back to her father and told him to get some rest before soccer the next day and that she'd see him soon. And she headed to the airport to get back to Salt Lake City.

She would be back in New York in just over a week and would be there for an entire week.  Grayson would hopefully be with the Jazz for their east coast road trip.  At the end of that trip, she was planning to go to Chicago to see Wendell when the Jazz played there. 

There would be a ton more wedding stuff to handle that week.  And she really needed the week in the office. So she would be busy. But busy was good. It kept her from thinking too much about the decisions she needed to make.

*****

Grayson let himself in and was greeted by Tyler, who had stayed home with regular visits from the pet sitter. Grayson was never sure whether the cat was happy to see them or not when they returned. He suspected that Tyler actually enjoyed having the run of the condo with little disruption and that his yowl was actually one of displeasure rather than greeting.