Him & I

Life After You

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
And I think that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
——Life After You, Daughtry

July 27, 2018

Luke needed some space.  He needed a few minutes to himself.  "Hey, you catch up with your grandmother," he said to Cait.  "I'll catch you back at the apartment. 

Cait looked at him quizzically.  "You okay, Lulu?" she asked.

"Yeah, never better," he grinned.  "Just need some fresh air.  I'll see you in a little while."

Luke made his escape, grateful that his friend was distracted by the process of finalizing the purchase of, not one, but two wedding gowns.  He'd somehow gotten roped into helping with that process and he still wasn't even sure how.

But Caitlin Callahan could sell underwear to a nudist if she put her mind to it and she knew his weak spots.  Thank God it was his best friend that was actually marrying her.  Grayson was going to have to stay on his toes around her, that was for damn sure.

Luke stepped outside of the salon and started walking. He pulled his phone out and made sure he was headed in the right direction to get back to Grayson and Cait's Bryant Park apartment. But he needed some time to think and the walk would give him a chance to clear his head.

Seeing Cait in wedding dresses had suddenly made all this marriage stuff very, very real. But it wasn't his two best friends getting married that had him practically hyperventilating. It was the fact that in just over a year, he was supposed to do the same thing.

Rae had already picked out her dress, just a few days before. She was happily debating colors for bridesmaids and contemplating flowers and ribbons and all kinds of stuff. And Luke was feeling as though he'd jumped behind the wheel of a car with no brakes. He was desperately trying to steer.

He'd talked to Grayson about it a few days ago, but he suspected that his best friend was having difficulty understanding him on this score. And he hadn't wanted to completely dump his shit on Grayson right now.

Grayson was happy. Like finally really totally and completely happy. He'd been drafted in the first round, was with a great team and organization, in a city that he liked and that was a perfect place for both he and Cait. And he had Cait. After months of separation, and a fair amount of drama, they were finally together. They'd been in love with each other for what seemed like forever, although Luke knew it was just short of two years since they'd met, but so many things had intervened. Now they were finally clear of a whole lot of stuff and they were living in the same place. And Grayson had finally learned not to care about the negative attention that had surrounded him for so long.

Luke was happy for them. But he needed to sort some of his own stuff out and he didn't want to burden them right now.

Luke loved Rae. He knew that. He'd never been more certain of anything in his life. But their relationship had been a whirlwind, even more so than Grayson and Cait's. Luke had met Rae less than ten months ago. They'd gotten engaged a little less than four months ago. And that had been his idea.

He'd gotten so caught up in the feelings he had for her, feelings he'd never had for anyone before.  He needed her.  He'd never actually needed any girl before her.  He'd had lots of them.  Had used lots of them.  But he'd always just moved on to the next one.  Moving on was always the plan.  Until Rae.