Please don't fall (Shawmila)

7

Camila's POV

I slowly walked back to my spot from earlier and sat back on the floor when a horrible headache kicked in. I held my head and closed my eyes because my vision was getting a little blurry. MY nose then tickled and I sneezed. Okay, now I was getting cold.... maybe I shouldn't be sitting out here with shorts and a tank top. But I couldn't care less.

I just kept sitting there, looking down at my fingers where I held the little stick between my fingers until I felt my phone vibrating again.

UNKNOWN(just now): 'Just do it now, what are you waiting for you little pussy??'

I wanted to do it, but I didn't have a lighter. The only way I could get some was down at the reception. I looked inside, seeing all the lights out. I got up, feeling my headache kicking in again. But I needed to try it, so I took my phone and opened the flashlight to use it as light so I wouldn't wake ally up. She should not know what I was about to do, no one should. So I put on some shoes and went 6 floors down. When I opened the door to exit our room, the corridor lights went on and I turned off my flashlight.

When I arrived in the big hall, I went to the reception. It was now 3:46 AM but since this is a hotel, there is personal at any time of the day. I walked towards the man, who looked a little older, like he's maybe in his late 40's, ready to ask my question. He looked at me and greeted me. "Hello Miss, what can I do for you?" He had an strange look on his face and I think he was checking me out, because he was always looking at my chest and I had only a tank top on. I felt slightly uncomfortable but asked anyways "Hello, could I buy a lighter please?" He looked me up and down again before answering "You know, usually they cost like 5$ but I will offer you one because you are such a pretty girl." He grabbed under the table and pulled out a black lighter. While I grabbed it I saw him smirking at me. Okay, this man is creepy. I took the lighter and went back up to the elevator but I still felt the mans eyes on my, on my butt. So I hurried to the elevator. On my way to the elevators I saw a vending machine for cigarettes. I mean, I have one, but just one. I don't know, maybe I will like it. So I pulled out money and clicked on one of the symbols. Out came a box of cigarettes and I took it before rushing toward the elevators and back to our room. I slowly entered the room and walked back to the balcony where I stood near the railing. I looked at the Cigarette I held in my right hand and at the lighter in my other hand. I was hesitating at first but hold it up to light it anyways. When I saw the stick burning, I led it to my mouth. I had watched Lauren a couple of times doing it so I did it just like her.

I sucked on the cigarette und swallowed it so the smoke could enter my lungs. It burned a bit but I don't know to describe it, I kinda liked it? There was a way to smoke less damaging to my body, I knew it, but I wanted to take as much damage as I could, just to feel something. To get rid of the numbness. The smoke entered my lungs and I puffed it back out through my mouth, seeing the white smoke leaving my mouth. Since I wasn't used to it I bought a few times because it burned in my throat. I did it one more time, this time sucking a little harder on the cigarette and keeping the some for a longer time in my lungs and mouth. It felt really good and it made me relax. I puffed it out and carried on doing it till my cigarette had burned down. I smashed the cigarette on the railing, getting the burned parts off it before throwing it down the balcony. I don't know what was going through my mind at this moment but I opened the new box of cigarettes and lighted the next one, finishing it in less then 5 minutes. I pulled out another one and sat back down when I was ready. I didn't know what to do now so I out my earphones in my ears and continued listening to music, leaning my back on the glass door, completely forgetting about the lighter next to me and the opened box in my hand. But it was already to late. MY eyes closed and I fell asleep, with the sun already coming up behind all those skyscrapers.

--

When I woke up, the sun was fully up the sky, and I was freezing, my whole body was trembling and my head was hurting like hell. What time was it? I grabbed my phone, my vision still blurry. But I somehow could figure out the time. 11:20AM, Ally could possibly be awake. I blinked my eyes a few times to make my vision clear and scanned my surrounding. There was my black lighter net to me and the box of cigarettes fell out of my hand, my phone on my lap and the blanket next to me. I was sitting here, all night, alone, with only a tank top on, shorts and my cigarettes. I collected all my things and leaned back because my whole body hurt. I should probably get inside before ally wakes up. So I grabbed my things, put them all in my suitcase, apart from my phone and rushed into my bed. I closed my eyes until I felt my blanket getting really hot so I threw it from my bed. But it got really cold then and I started shaking again. I could feel the sickness in my body and that was absolutely not good. I'm never sick really never. But at least we had a week of so I had enough time to make myself healthy again.

So I laid there on my bed, shaking without a blanket until I heard shuffling from Ally's bed. I picked up my blanket quickly and faked sleeping. I don't want them to know I was sick, it would only make everything worse. I heard Ally stand up and probably entering the bathroom to get herself ready, I think I should do the same, so I slowly sat up against de wall with closed eyes, holding my head. God, this was not a good idea, not sleeping outside nor showering with cold water, the cold water was good though. I was still leaned against the wall, with my head in my hands when Ally entered the room. "You okay?" , I looked up quickly, a little to quick because black dots started to appear in my vision. "Yeah sure." I answered her question. "Did you sleep well?" she asked me. Honestly, I hadn't, but she didn't needed to know that. So I just nodded and smiled towards her. Why does she even care? I stood up carefully, taking my things and making my way to the bathroom. When I was half way there I heard Ally "Camila, we're getting lunch together at 1 , we're going to meet downstairs." "Ok". I looked at the clock hanging on the wall, I had half an hour time to get myself ready. So I entered the bathroom and put normal clothes on, well not exactly normal. I had a black long sleeve with some white ripped jeans. Others would say it was way to hot outside but I was freezing so I couldn't just go out there with shorts and a shirt. So I put on the clothes I brought.