Please don't fall (Shawmila)

80

Camila's POV

"Okay, so does anybody have some lyrics?" Dinah finally asked after 4 and a half hours. "I kinda do..." I said, standing up and walking to the seats in the middle of the room. "Alright, show us... anyone else?" Dinah asked, looking at the other. "Yeah, I do" Lauren smiled, holding up her notebook. "Me too!" "Same here!" "Apparently we did good work. If every lyrics is good, we did a good gob and are almost done with writing! We will maybe also have 8 instead of 7 songs!" Dinah said excitedly. The other were pretty excited and Lauren started reading her lyrics. "Okay, so here... I don't have everything but... some lines and bits and pieces...." She said, reading out a song called 'Lonely night'. The lyrics was alright, the typical lyrics we always put out. "This is great! I would say this is our forth song!" Normani said excited. We all nodded, Lauren handed her notes over to Ally, who typed them into her laptop and saved them so we could start working with it. Normani read her lyrics and it was called 'He like that. Everyone liked it so we set it as our fifth song. Ally's song was called 'Deliver' and Dinah's was called 'Sauced Up'. I was the last one to read my lyrics and I still thought it would be pretty good and the girls would like it. "Okay so.... I completed a song and called it 'Call on me'... I actually really like it... I hope you'll like it too." I said unsure, starting to read out my lyrics.

When I was done I looked up to see their faces. I couldn't really read their facial expressions. "Well..." Dinah started. "It is a good song... but.... it just... I think...." she was unsure of what to say. "It doesn't fit, I'M sorry, but it doesn't." Lauren then took over. That actually hurt my feelings a bit. "Oh, okay..." "Yeah, I think too, it just isn't really our style at all. We are more like that sassy cool girls with some upbeat and enjoyable songs... your song is a bit... boring... no offense though..." Normani said, looking at Dianh. "Yeah, she's right." Dinah agreed. I just nodded, feeling ashamed for writing such... trash and looked into my lap while the others continued discussing the beats for the songs. Our management had given us the needed equipment so we could do most of the work here in the apartment before working on the final product. They were discussing the melody and who sang which verses and just asked for my a quick feedback from me before finalizing it.

Three hours later, we were done... for today and went to bed. Well I went to bed but not to sleep. I needed to talk to someone... Shawn... The words they had said to me earlier... to my song.... were just roaming around my head. I sat down on the floor in front of my bed, gripping my phone with both my hands, contemplating if I should call or text Shawn. It was pretty late... I tapped two times on my bracelet and waited a few minutes. I was anxious and needed to talk to someone and let these emotions out... but when I didn't get a response from Shawn, I started crying, leaning my head on my knees, sobbing. 'I am a shit writer'.... That was, what I took from the writing session today. And all those songs I have written for Shawn... he probably didn't even like them... he just pretended to... My emotions were getting the best of me, exhausting me and so I fell asleep on the floor, my head leaning on my knees.

It was pitch dark in my room when I opened my eyes again. My back and neck were hurting due the position I had been sleeping in. 3:37 am read my phone.... and a message from Shawn... and UNKNOWN. I groaned quietly, closing my eyes and then tapping on Shawns message first. 'Hey baby, I'm sorry I didn't answer. I was recording... is everything alright? I love you.' Two hours ago... he was now probably sleeping but I replied anyways. 'Hey baby, yeah, I am okay, sorry for bothering you. I love you, too, a lot... and I miss you.' It had only been a day and I could barely stand it here. How am I going to do this... three months. I moved up to my bed, took the teddy bear and pressed into my chest again, covering myself with the blanket. It was only one blanket, which meant I would be freezing but Shawns hoodie made me feel a bit safer .Before finally closing my eyes, I felt three vibrations on my bracelet, which made me smile slightly and falling into an uneasy sleep.

I woke up multiple times during the rest of the night, not being able to find a comfortable position... and rest. It was now 6 am and I was standing on my small balcony, watching the sun slowly come up. The streets were still quiet but I know that in only a couple of minutes it would be as busy as usually. It calmed me a little bit... but not completely. Nothing would ever be able to calm me completely apart from Shawn. And now that I think of it... I need him... Two vibrations again... I need him.. to hear his voice... to see him... and his touch... which I couldn't have. I walked back inside, closing the door and getting into the bathroom to get changed and maybe eat breakfast.

The reflection in the mirror looked just like... the beginnings of the last tour. Sad. I knew I wouldn't be able to feel completely happy, ever. I washed my face with cold water, waking myself up a bit before doing my face routine so I didn't completely look like trash. We would have another music session today, discussing melodies for the songs. I had zero motivation but I had to go.

I pulled out a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with some natural yogurt. That would be my breakfast. Of course I drank a glass of water first and then sat down on the couch, tuning on the TV quietly.It wasn't anything important on the TV but I had just turned it on to have something on in the background. 

When I was done with my yogurt bowl, it was 6:15am. The other were still asleep, so I had more time to myself. I send three vibrations on my bracelet. 'I love you' and was surprised when I got three vibrations back, followed by a text. I opened it and it was quick but sweet. 'I love you too, baby and I am missing you... I have a busy day today though... I hope you have a great day Baby.' I smiled slightly reading his message. 'I miss you too. My day is going to be busy too... have a great day babe. I love you'. I clicked send and just then, another message popped up. UNKNOWN. I had forgotten about the text last night... so I was kinda scared to open it... but did it anyways.

UNKNOWN (5 hours ago):...

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Oh...

I just had an online lesson and it were like 5 minutes haha the teacher was like "Alright, gotta go, see you next week" haha we love that

This book is SLOWLY coming to an end...
but I have been thinking about a lot of new books ☺️