Please don't fall (Shawmila)

5

Camila's POV

*Ding*  my phone. I picked it up from the table and saw another message. I had gotten a lot of texts today but I ignored them all. I opened my messenger and read the new message. 'I know you're reading this Camila.' I rolled my eyes and sight, laying my phone back on the table of the dressing room of todays concert location. We were all getting ready for the show later that day. Well, they were all getting ready, I was just waiting for them. I was the first one today. No one wanted do get ready with me so I just got ready alone. 

So here I sat. Alone in the big dressing room filled with food. But I didn't even look at the food. I wasn't really in the mood for food. But it's nothing new. Another message entered may phone.

'Don't ignore me!' I put my phone back down.

'Camila, you're not aware of what I'm capable of. So you better answer to my texts or it's gonna have consequences.' Now I got a little scared. So I tapped on the screen, preparing myself to type an answer. Since I didn't know what to respond I just typed a simple 'Hello' and locked my phone. I didn't last long though because my attention was back on the screen only 5 seconds later. I had gotten an answer. 'Good Girl, now listen.'  This was all the message said. Nothing more. What should I listen to? I hold my phone in my hands, waiting for another message but I didn't get one. So I put it back on the table just at the same time as the door opened, revealing the other 4 girls completely dressed and ready for the show. I thought I was ready too until I saw their outfits and makeup. They had different dresses than me and the makeup was combining with the colors of their dresses. Well it weren't dresses, they had black bodies on, each one was different shaped and had some specials in it.

" Oh we forgot to tell you that we were going to put on the black bodies. Go and get changed, we have 1 hour left so hurry." Dinah said. I got up in disbelieve and slowly walked to the fitting rooms where my black body was hung up on a bar. I took it, changed myself and sat on the big chairs, getting make up ready from one of the assistants.

Half an hour later I was ready and looked like the other four girls. I stepped out of the room, entering the room where the others were. I opened the door and saw all of them laughing together. I missed those moments where we were just laughing together. We haven't had moments like this since this tour started and I don't really know why, maybe because I just that annoying band member that talks way to much, acts childish and embarrasses the other. Maybe I should just stop being like that, like I used to be. Maybe thy will act normal again towards me.

When they saw me inside the room they instantly stopped laughing an looked at me. Dinah cleared her throat and said "We should get ready for the concert." And with that Normani and Ally stood up and got out the room with Dinah. Lauren didn't leave her seat though. She looked at me and when she saw that the others had left the room she started talking. "You know I didn't wanted them to change the outfits. You had the right one." I just nodded waiting for her to say something else but nothing came. So I just walked towards my phone, seeing another message but ignoring it since we had to get on the stage where the girls were all act normal toward me and I smiled at that thought and rushed up the stage where the others were waiting for me and Lauren.

Three hours later we all walked back backstage, exhausted. We threw ourself on the couches and started laughing, with me. I didn't knew what was happening but here I was, laughing with my band mates again. But the reality came back and everyone had stopped laughing and was starting to get off their clothes and makeup. So I gut up with a sad sight and did the same. One hour later, when we had packed everything we went back to the bus where bIg Rob was waiting for us. He had an announcement. "Sit down girls. Great show by the way." He greeted us. We all sat down in the chill area at the back of the bus and listened to what Rob ha to say. "So as you know, you have a day off tomorrow. The show for the day after tomorrow was delayed a week so you will have a week off since the concert after this will be in 2 weeks. We're driving to a hotel tonight and will stay there for one week. Please behave. We don't need to get kicked out again." I heard a silenced laugh coming from ally and even I grinned at the though of what happened last time.

Flashback 

We were all in Manis and Dinahs room when Lauren had an Idea, an great Idea. "Lets make a pillow fight!" Everyone agreed instantly and got a Pillow. The Pillow fight started pretty harmless until Ally, the smallest of the group, pulled out a big pillow of the couch and threw it at Lauren. In return she took the pillow. grabbed another pillow from Dinahs bed and threw it back. Since Lauren isn't the best at aiming she didn't even nearly hit Lauren. Instead she hit the lamp next to her and it fell down from the wall and instantly broke. We all looked shocked, everyone apart from Lauren. She found it funny and took another pillow, continuing the fight with Ally until the little drawer next to the bedd fell and the lamp on the drawer broke too. "Shoot." Lauren said, getting up from the floor, trying to. fix the mess before anyone could notice, but to late. There was a knock at the door. I went to open it to see two angry looking men, probably two workers from the hotel. They saw the mess and kicks us out, and our whole crew. This week we had all to sleep in the bus. Just because we wanted to have a little fun.

But I knew exactly that this wouldn't happen this time.We weren't all friends, at least they weren't really friends with me. When Big Rob stood up telling us to ready our bags everyone was fast out of the room. I was the last one sitting there until I slowly got up, making my way to my bunk where I had a huge bag. I started packing the most important things and some clothes. I didn't really need fancy clothings since we have a whole week of and aren't going to hav shows or interviews. I only packed a black dress with sparkles and some high heels. The rest were all normal clothes and pjs. The last things I packed were my bathroom bag my charger and my phone and then I closed my bag, getting my note book and my diary wit two pens. I put the bags in the front were the other girls had already set their bag down and sat on the couches where the others were sitting. They were talking or listening to music so I decided to listen to music since no one would talk to me. Not even Lauren. But she got more distant this past few day, well distant towards me. She was starting to act like the others. I put in my ear buds and put on my sad playlist, it just described my feeling. The song 'Broken' by Lund came on and it made me think about a lot of things. Especially this one part.

'See I'm a waste of life, I should just kill myself,

 yeah I could slit my wrists, but it really wouldn't help, 

wouldn't fix my issues and change your mind..."

I really could, but I haven't reached this point in my life, not yet. I didn't notice I was crying until a tear dripped on my phone. I wiped my sleeve over my eyes but the tears didn't really stop. These are the moments where I realize that no one really cares about me here anymore. My friends would have asked if I was ok. But they didn't. They acted like they didn't notice but I know they saw it because Ally was staring at me, but when I looked at her she quickly looked away, back on her phone. I stood up, making my way to the bathroom but I couldn't help it. The tears slipped out my eyes before I could reach the door that was only a few steps away. When I entered the small room I was fully crying and sobbing. I locked the door and slid down the door, sitting on the floor with my head on my knees. I really couldn't do this anymore. Not alone. I can't bottle up my feelings anymore. I need someone to talk to, or at least someone to cheer me up. But that someone wasn't here. I knew that in this group I wouldn't find anyone any time soon. The only person that could cheer me up was my little sister Sofi or Shawn, my best friend. But she is on the other side of the country and there was no way I could talk to her now. And Shawn.... well he is currently on tour and we hat a small argument the last time we saw each other. 

I remained in that position until the bus stopped. We must have reached the hotel. How long did I sit here? Obviously no one cared. I wiped my eyes, washed my face and got out and acted like nothing happened. Everyone took their bags and entered the Hotel. 

"So, how are we going to make the room separation?" Dinah asked. Normani instantly grabbed onto Dinahs hand. Lauren walked over to them. Ally just looked between them and me. I already prepared myself to have a room alone. But that didn't happen. ally came to my side. "I'll stay with Camila." "You serious?" Dinah asked. Ally nodded and took a room key. The others got a room for three. I couldn't believe that Ally was really going to share a room with me. Probably just to tell my how annoying I was and that I needed to shut my mouth. But at leasts I wasn't alone.