Please don't fall (Shawmila)

19

Camila's POV

Well I actually didn't really sleep... but what's new right? I woke up because I could hear faint voices. I checked the clock and saw that it was 4:48 p.m. They probably just finished the movie and were now in the 'kitchen'. I wasn't really in the mood to get out of bed so I just stayed where I was. Until suddenly someone slowly opened my bunk curtain. It was Lauren. "Hey Camz." she smiled softly. So did I . "Did you sleep well?" she asked. I hadn't slept at all but I just nodded slightly. Lauren looked at me, not buying it. "Make space for me." She said and entered my bunk. I held up the blanket for her to get in. Just like the other night. I laid comfortably with my head against her chest to make enough space for us. Lauren was stroking my left arm. "Did you really sleep Camz? You seem tired." I mean... whats wrong if I tell her that I couldn't sleep? "No.. I couldn't sleep." I said and looked into her eyes. The vibrant green looking right into my soul and I was afraid that she could read my mind so I quickly looked back down. "Why?" she asked as she stopped stroking my arm, that I almost forgot, had the cuts on its wrist. "I don't know..." I shrugged. She then moved a bit, laying her body completely onto the mattress and pulling me down with her so I could actually lay in bed. "Sleep, I'll stay here with you." She smiled and I nodded. Maybe I should really sleep. At least Lauren was here, just her scent made me fall asleep....

Lauren's POV

She was actually sleeping. When was the last time she actually slept? I asked myself, seeing the huge bags under her eyes. It made me kinda sad that she doesn't talk to me or any of us. But I can't force her. I continued stroking her arm carefully, not wanting to wake her up.

Outside of the bunk I heard steps coming towards the bunk. The curtain opened and it revealed Ally. "How is she?" She asked, looking down to my chest where Camila was sleeping. "As you can see, she's finally sleeping." I said. "Thats good." Ally smiled. "She doesn't look happy." She said after a few moments of silence. I just nodded. Even in her sleep she doesn't look happy or at least relaxed. What caused all this? Ally then closed the curtain again and walked back to do whatever she was going to do.

Camila was a beautiful girl.... I always knew that. She is. But she changed. She used to be bubbly, laugh at everything, always trying to interact with us, cheering everyone up...just living her best life. But that right here... sleeping on my chest... wasn't this Camila. She's different now. Or at least for now. I don't even really know what happened. Well... she got raped.... and it fucking ripped my heart out of my chest just by thinking about it. I remember how she used to tell me that she wanted her first kiss to be special and her first time to be perfect. And what happened wasn't special nor perfect. And I was so sorry about that... It destroyed all my dreams... It was hard for me to see Camila like this. But you can't change the past, although I wish I could go back and change whatever made things go this way.

I felt myself getting tired too and so I fell asleep.

Camila's POV

I opened my eyes. It was dark but the bus was moving. I barely had space to move because of laying in Laurens embrace. But it was ok. She was giving me the safety and love I needed. I was happy here with her. I then lifted up my left arm and looked at the sleeve that had slightly rolled up while sleeping. You could see a few cuts but not all of them. I pressed my finger against the cuts and it hurt a little so I stopped. I was glad that the bruises on my back and my wrist had faded... the bruises I got while getting raped... And just the thought of it made me cry again. I let every detail of that afternoon run through my had and I could vividly remember everything. I sobbed but tried not being to loud since Lauren and probably the rest of the girls were sleeping.

I remembered how he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the cold wall. How he hurriedly kissed me and grabbed my butt aggressively. How my vision got blurry, how i tried to scream for help and his hand on my mouth to stop me from screaming.I remembered how he opened my jeans and put his hand inside of it.... how his fingers slipped inside of me.... and how I could barely stand afterwards. I remembered how he let me fall to the ground and disappeared, how I lied there crying, knowing I had fucked up.... how I- "Hey Camila, its ok." I suddenly heard. Lauren. I woke her up with my sobbing. She lifted up her torso so she could look at me and starched out her hand to wipe away my tears that continued streaming down my face. When she saw that the tears didn't stop, she pulled me into a tight hug and I instantly hurried my head inside her neck. "Whatever it is... its going to be ok.." she whispered while slowly stroking my back. "Wanna tell me about it?" she asked kindly. "It... it was just a nightmare, not too bad.." I tried convincing her and she actually bought it.

After a few more minutes of stroking my back she let go of me and asked "Do you wanna eat something? You must be starving." I actually wasn't hungry but I nodded anyways. "No, wait..." I changed my decision. "I'm not really hungry and its like the middle of the night, I can wait until the morning." I tried to convince her. She nodded and got mack inside the bunk and laid back down. And so did I. trying to forget whatever memory would come into my mind.