Please don't fall (Shawmila)

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Camila's POV (After she first woke up)

I opened my eyes, feeling the pain which I was already used to. By what I could see it looked like I was in a hospital again. Great, I wish I could have slept a bit longer. "Camila! Hija!" I turned my head to my left, seeing my mother sitting there with tears. She hold my hand. "omg.... you finally woke up!" She said full of joy, pressing the button next to my bed, probably calling a nurse. A few minutes later the door opened and a nurse came in, checking my vitals, writing something down and leaving again. My mom had stepped outside before the nurse came and reentered the room. I wanted to ask her where she went and opened my eyes but felt a sharp pain in my throat. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. My mom stepped to my side, wiping my tears away and caressing my cheek after giving me a kiss. "Camila, don't talk.... you aren't really able to. Your stomach was pumped." Great. So I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. I don't deserve to talk either way. My mom kept talking to me but I just got lost in thoughts, not really listening to her. Then the door of my room opened again. I thought it was the nurse again but when I looked towards the door, it was Shawn. He greeted us with a small 'hey' and a cute smile, which I wanted to reciprocate but couldn't due to the pain I felt everywhere. My mom stood up to embrace him and then he kneeled down next to me, giving me a kiss on my forehead. The action was so sweet that I closed my eyes in the process. 'Thank you Shawn for being here' was what I wanted to tell him but couldn't so I just thought it for myself. Then he stood up again while my mom told us that she had called a nurse, probably because of the pain I felt in my throat. Shawn went to sit down next to my mom, since there was another free seat but I needed him next to me so I squeezed his hand and pulled him back down. He understood and sat back on the floor, putting his hand on my cheek and holding my other hand. To anyone around us it would look like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I wish.

When the nurse entered, she explained to us how the food would get into my body and what to do when the bag was empty. She then asked some questions about my soreness and explained what happened and where I would feel pain the next few days or even weeks. It made me feel really down, knowing that I wouldn't really be able to to anything. Not even touring.... again.

The nurse left and my mom followed and soon after I fell asleep again, since it was still really early. I only opened my eyes, when I felt some tugging on the tubes which was very uncomfortable. It was the nurse, pugging in my breakfast to the tubes. Eating against my will. I would gain weight so fast here. I need to get out here as soon as possible. The next uncomfortable feeling was when the food stated entering me. I hate this feeling already and its just my first time. I wanted to throw up. The food was practically being shoved down my throat and I couldn't do anything. I knew if I threw up, my throat would hurt even more so I just let the food get into me until the bag was empty. Shawn was holding my hand duding the whole process. The nurse had told Shawn how to plug it ind and get it out again when it was empty and so he did. It was probably so I could go home and still being able to eat. Even though I preferred not to eat at all. Shawn cleaned everything up Shawn just stared at me, holding my hand while I was in thoughts. He is the perfect boyfriend. Someone will be so lucky to have him. But I am really happy having him as best friend. I really wanted to know what he was thinking about because it seemed to be something serious by the look on his face but it softened soon after when he started talking to me. "Mila?" He asked quietly not to scare me since I was still sleepy. I couldn't really reply so he just continued talking. "Do you trust me?" What does he mean? Of course I do, so I nodded. "Good..." That was it. Silence. "Do you... do you like me?" He stuttered, breaking the silence. Of Cours I like him. I wanted to tell him how much I like him but I nodded without hesitating so he knew I was really sure about that. "You said you trust me... please... let me do this... let me do this while I have the confidence to okay?" Quite confused I nodded again. What he did the, came really unexpected. He came closer to my face and rested one hand on my cheek, coming closer and closer to my face, not leaving my face with his eyes. What he did next, took me off guard. He rested his lips carefully on me. It was so surprising that I didn't know how to react. My lips were so dry that I didn't really wanted to do anything. I was scared that this wasn't his intention. I was so confused. I had tars welling up in my eyes. Happiness? Sadness? Or was I scared? I most definitely was crying because I was scared. Scared that this wasn't his intention. That he now had regrets. That our friendship was broken from now on. And then he quickly pulled away, making me think it was a mistake until he started talking. "Mila... I.. I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking. I should have known...Shit... I-I think it's better if I leave." He was talking really fast and stuttering. Wasn't it a mistake? He stood up, ready to leave but I couldn't let hime leave. Not now where everything was unclear. My mind and vision was blurry but I managed to pull him back down, not wanting to let go of his hand. I shook my head out of confusion. The tears didn't stop. Nothing was clear to me but I needed to sort this out now. My feelings were so confused. I knew it was what I had always wanted but is it what he always wanted? "Don't you want me to go?" His voice had a hint of unsureness. No id don't, so I shook my head. He sat back down in is previous position not saying a word, letting me draw out thousands of reasons why he did this. What would happen with our friendship. I knew I wanted this. I needed to find clearness. I took his free hand and pulled him towards myself, causing him to lean closer to my face. I laid my other hand on his cheek, staring into his beautiful brown eyes. The confidence hit me, causing me to put my lips on his. At first it was very light but then I trusted myself to make it a proper kiss. My hand was on the back of his neck, playing with his cute little curls that rested there. I had a small smile on my lips and I could feel him smiling too. So it was his intention. I had closed my eyes out of happiness and still had tears in my eyes. But this time they were out of happiness. I didn't want to let go but I knew we had to eventually. But in this moment, I just wanted to keep this kiss like it was. I wanted to keep him. With me.

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I hope this wasn't too boring for you since it was practically the previous chapter but in Camila's POV...

HOLY SHIT did you watch their Livestream on Instagram omggggg😭😭😭❤️

I cried a little writing this. I hope Mila finds happiness again....

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