Please don't fall (Shawmila)

90

I'm sorry for not updating as much but I'm not doing good with my mental health right now... I didn't really have time to write... but didn't want to disappoint you soo
here you go

Camila's POV

It had been three days since I had been kicked out of the studio and I actually was feeling a little better today. My fever luckily subsided again, thanks to Shawn and he tried to get me to eat normally. Of course that isn't easy... I haven't really been out of my room since I didn't want to talk to the girls. They had been... distant and had a lot of meetings with our management... which was strange... usually I would be there too since it wasn't to sing or anything. But Shawn was with me through it all. He sang for me, we cuddled, he recovered with me and he just showed me love... he even helped me take care of my cuts ad scars.... and I think he even talked to Matthew... and someone else which I didn't know who it was. "Mila?" I heard him from my room. I was in the bathroom, getting dressed. I would go back to the studio after lunch today... I needed to get my work done. "Yeah?" "I'm stepping outside to the balcony to make a quick call, alright?" "Yeah!" I shouted back through the closed door of the bathroom. I had on a comfortable hoodie, Shawns hoodie, and some simple black leggings. I looked in the mirror. The hoodie did a good job at hiding my cuts and scars and my loss of weight but the leggings showed my skinny legs, making me really happy somehow. I was proud of my weight loss. I know Shawn was... scared... but I tried to show him that he didn't need to be. I am still the Camila he met before. His best friend... his girlfriend. I walked out of the bathroom after braiding my hair... which unfortunately started to get thinner but braiding it didn't show it as much. I sat down on my bed having still about an hour before having to get back into the studio. The door of the balcony was slightly opened which caused me to hear a bit of what Shawn was saying. I know I shouldn't be listening but... it was just so quiet and his voice was the only thing I could hear in that moment. "She's better....." "Yeah... how are you?"... "That's good.... I know... I know... time is running out...." " I will tell her...soon." Is he talking about me? And with who? I knew it wasn't Matthew... he wouldn't be this... calm and talk like this. He really hated him... and he didn't hesitate to show it. He ended the call and walked back inside. "Shawn? Who was that?" I asked. "Oh... yo- my mom" he said, quickly correcting himself, which didn't go unnoticed by me. But I didn't say anything. "Okay... I hope she's ... she's okay." I just sad. "She is.. and she misses you." "I miss her too." I smiled slightly. "You feeling alight?" he asked, seeing the strange look on my face. "Yeah... I am... just a little... nervous... I guess." I was nervous. I would be going back into the studio today. "Oh baby, you don't need to be nervous, you can sing, you have a wonderful voice and you are a loving girl, my girl." he said softly. I nodded. "Do you want to maybe practice the songs? I can help you if you want." he offered. My eyes lit up at his offer. I love singing with him. "Yes, please, I'd love to." I said, grabbing the lyrics sheets with out songs. Shawn had heard us once in practice and I had short versions of the songs on my phone so it was easy for him to help me. We sat down on my bed with one headphone each as we listened and I sang along to it. "This sounds good Mila." he smiled but I could tell he was confused on why I only sang the chorus... and not even the main part. "Mila? Is this all you sing?" he asked when we went through all songs. "Yeah..." "Really?" he was clearly confused. "Yeah... they... they didn't let me do more..." "Didn't you do the arrangements together?" he asked. "We did... but... they just asked for my confirmation every time... I couldn't really say anything..." I know it might seem weird that I couldn't decide when I was part of the group but... I was kind of used to it. "Mila a-" "Shawn, it's okay, please just... leave it alone." I asked him. "Alright... but please talk to me, okay?" "Yeah, thank you." I said, leaning forward against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. "I love you okay? Remember that." he whispered into my ear, kissing my temple. "I love you too" I smiled lightly into his chest.

"Mila, it's time." he said softly. We have been sitting on the bed together, listening to music and just cuddling. "Okay..." I let out a sigh as I stood up, grabbing a bottle of water, my notebook and my lyrics sheet before giving him a kiss and leaving the room. I walked through the corridor over to the studio. I could hear laughter but when I entered, everything went quiet. "Hey..." I said quietly. "Hello Camila, you feeling better?" one of our managers asked me as I entered. "Yeah. I also practiced a bit before coming here." "good, the we can start with you, the others are mostly done." he said, giving the the head phones. I put my lyrics sheet from 'Deliver'. It took a few tries but I somehow did it. Then I also did 'Lonely night' and 'He like that' and after that I was exhausted. I had to do it with almost no break since we only had about two more weeks before tour starts and the promotion. They said I did okay and then we had a short break of 20 minutes before we would continue. They dismissed me... but only me. The others stayed. I walked into my room, finding Shawn on his laptop with some sheets around him. "Hey, what are you doing?" I asked as I entered. "Oh, hey. I'm waring on some songs" he smiled, getting back to write down a few lines. "Are you already done?" "No, I have a 20 minute break." I said, sitting down next to him. The habit of smoking a lot wasn't on my mind as much anymore... probably because Shawn was here. But I still did it occasionally. Mostly at night, when he was asleep or when he went out for walks. "Mila? Tell me if this line sounds good, please." he said, holding up the sheet and starting to read it to me. 'Help me, it's like the walls are caving in; Sometimes I feel like giving up; Nothing's ever strong enough; Someone help me; I'm crawling in my skin; Sometimes I feel like giving up; But I just can't' Wow... this hit's hard... "W-What's the song called?" I asked, my voice shaky. "In my blood... was it not good?"he asked, insecurity in his voice. "It's awesome Shawn... I love it and the lyrics... wow but maybe... wait, show me again" He handed me the lyrics and I read through it. "maybe change this line.... into 'No medicine is strong enough...' I think it would go better with the rest of the lines... I don't know..." I suggested. He thought about it for a bit, probably singing it in his head before nodding. "You're right. It sounds better, thanks baby." he smiled, scribbling the new lyrics down. "You're welcome" I smiled back. I read through the whole lyrics and it sounded... really good but sad... "You like it?" he asked, watching me read through the lyrics. "Yeah... wow... please sing it to me today?" "Sure baby." he smiled, kissing my cheek.

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