Please don't fall (Shawmila)

60

Shawn's POV

" I love you Shawn. And if you are not ready yet, that's okay... I just needed it to be said, so you know, I am ready. I am ready for love." She said, not looking at me. I was speechless. Those songs were beautiful. And knowing she did that, to confess her love to me... wow. I didn't know what to say. But I quickly needed to say something. Of course I felt same. How was I supposed not to? She is perfect... in my eyes. I still had a few tears on my cheeks from when she sang the songs to me, which I wiped away. "Wow... Mila... I... I'm speechless..."  "You know... if you don't know yet... or are not sure... or not ready....you.." No. I pulled her in and pressed my lips to hers. I deepened the kiss, letting her know, that I was 100% sure of my feelings for her. It was one of the longest kisses we had... and it felt... amazing. I had one hand on her waist and the other one on her cheek and she had both her hands behind my neck, playing with my curls, which I loved. When we slowly pulled away, due to lack of air, I put both my hands on her cheeks, looking her deep I the eyes. "Mila... I don't need to think about this. I love you. I loved you for a long time... and I'm extremely happy that I can finally say it out loud. I just wasn't sure if you would be ready... with everything going on..." "I am so ready. I have never felt readier to love someone as I am with you." She said in a soft voice, keeping her hands in my curls. I pulled her in to an embrace and letting her lay on myself before pulling two blankets over our bodies, to enjoy the rest of the evening, with the girlfriend I love.

After half an hour, Mila had fallen asleep so I decided to carry her back inside. I slowly sat her down besides me, standing up and carrying her bride style into my condo. I laid her down on our bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin, seeing the necklace I had given her a few days ago. I kissed her lips and when I pulled away, she had a slight smile on her lips, which caused me to smile too. I left the door a crack open and started putting everything inside, we had used on the roof, including Mila's notebook, which had the two songs. I opened that page again, reading through the last song she had sang to me, sometimes spotting a spot, where the paper was wavy, probably because of tears. I brought the book inside and sat on the couch, reading to the first song too. I let the lyrics sink in and it made me feel really emotional, knowing how much effort she had put into telling that she loves me. I really love her too.

I walked back into the bedroom, seeing Mila sleeping peacefully and laying myself down next to her. I was only wearing boxers but Mila was okay with it. I spooned her and wrapped my arms around her body, to make her feel safe and warm during the night. I touched her palms, which were still covered in the bandages from before. It made me really feel kind of sad... but I just needed to make sure she takes care of herself. I would take care of herself.

I woke up and my first look was to Mila. She was stirring in her sleep and moving and mumbling. I looked at the clock. 5.48 am. Still pretty early. I looked back at Mila, who was now moving more than before. "Stop.....n....no...." she was whimpering, again. She was facing away from me so I turned her over to look at me. Tears were all over her face. I noticed how she flinched when I touched her. Again. Something was definitely going on. "No... plea...plea..se s...st..stop" she whimpered again. I needed to wake her up. I sat up next to her and tried shaking her, like last time. I said her name several times but I didn't touch her face, knowing she would probably flinch away, a sign of fear and I do not want her to be afraid of me. She hadn't stopped whispering at it worried me, a lot. The words she was whimpering... didn't make any sense to me. She then shot up, just like last time, backed away from me and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Mila... no.... don't be scare.... it's me." I said softly, trying not to scare her even more. She had her eyes closed and was shaking slightly but when she opened her eyes, the shaking subsided. "Can I... can I touch you, Mila?" I asked carefully. I had learned that I needed to be careful when she was in this state, to prevent her from being scared of me. She nodded slightly and I got closer to her on the bed, since I had been knelling down on her side of the bed. I sat next to her, still leaving a bit of space between us. I reached out to her hand, trying to see if she was scared but she wasn't. I took her bandaged hand in mine and squeezed it... three times. Then I felt her lean her head on my shoulder and thats when I knew she was comfortable again. I kissed her head and caressed her hand with my thumb. "I love you." I whispered. She sighted before whispering a quiet "I love you too." "Mila... what ... what is happening? This is the second time in 3 days... I'm worried and I want you to know that I am here to talk... when you're ready, of course." I said, hoping she would finally tell me what was going on. "I ... I think... Shawn... I think I am ready. " she whispered, looking up at me and kissing my neck.

-----------

Face reveal in
3

2

1

This is me😅
(With snapchat filter)

Without😳😅

Did you expect me to look like this?