Please don't fall (Shawmila)

35

Camila's POV
The club luckily wasn't too crowded which was good. We all stayed together until it was time to get some drinks. We had a VIP table only for us and some crew members. Dinah and Shawn both ordered a coke.

When our drinks came, which Lauren had ordered for us, I wasn't surprised at all to see shots and cocktails. Everyone took one cocktail and two shots. We all clinked our glasses and easily downed our first shot. I wasn't used to drinking so I made a funny face. The we took our cocktail and walked towards the dance floor. Shawn didn't leave my side, which i found good. Who knew what could happen.

We all danced and laughed. Even the girls and I did. Together. We were having a lot of fun. After a couple of minutes we decided to gather ourselves around our table again to drink our second shot. Everyone took his, apart from Dinah and Shawn, who were amusingly laughing at our tipsiness, and clinked it again before downing it. It tasted better this time. We asked for two more rounds of shots before hitting the dance floor again.

Shawn and I danced together and laughed and sang along to the songs and I had a lot of fun. When Lauren called us to drink the next shots I was the first at the table. I was really liking this. I took both of my shots and downed one after the other. Easy. Lauren looked a bit surprised but did the same. When I was about to order another drink, Shawn stopped me. "Mila, I think it's enough for today." He said as he put his hand on my back but I shook my head. No. "Only....one more." I said. You could hear by my voice, that I was drunk by now. Due to not eating properly the whole day, I was drunk pretty fast. But I knew exactly what I was doing. And in my mind, I knew why I was acting this way. Pain. Pain was always an excuse to do shitty things to myself. Shawn just looked at me concerned but let it slide soon after. I drank my cocktail and the drink I had ordered arrived. I took one sip but after that the drink was pulled away from me. Shawn. He held it in his hand, looking not very amused. I tried to grab it but he walked towards a table and set it on the table. Great. " You are not doing this." He said, crossing his arms in front of him. I huffed and walked back to the dance floor but Shawn followed me. I needed another drink,but how? Just then, I saw Lauren dancing behind Shawn and waved her in my direction. I pushed Shawn and her together before leaving for the bar. Shawn wanted to follow me but Lauren didn't let him.

At the bar, I waved a bartender towards me. He quickly came and I made my order. Two shots. They quickly came and I downed them right at the bar. Then I walked back to the dance floor not really caring who I was dancing with. I knew it weren't people I know but I didn't care at all.

I was dancing in a random crowd. I didn't know anyone and I also kind of lost my friends I came with. I wanted to turn around to at least see where they were, when I suddenly felt a hand on my ass. I turned around and saw a man standing behind me with a smirk. It instantly gave me a flashback of what happened behind the hotel. I froze for a second until the guy came even closer and tried touching me again. I quickly pushed him away and ran to the bathrooms. By now, a tear had escaped my eye and my breathing was uneven. I locked myself into the bathroom. It had a huge mirror and was really dirt. I was crying and my makeup was all over the place. I felt helpless. In my mind was a perfect image of that particular night I lost my innocence. Involuntary. I wanted to wipe my tears away to create a clear vision but it was impossible.

A huge wave of nausea overcame me and I threw myself towards the toilet. All of the alcohol was coming out. I was feeling like shit. The vomiting made my throat hurt and I got extremely dizzy.

After a few minutes I tried standing up again, since i had been kneeling in front of the toilet. I pushed myself up but failed, falling back down to the dirty ground. It was wet and I didn't want to know why.
Noticing that no one had come to check on me, not even Shawn who had been glued to me since we got here, made me realize that I was in fact not important to amyone. I opened my purse taking out my blade I had in my wallet, just in case I needed it. And now was the moment I needed it.

Due to the alcohol in my blood, I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't really think straight. I wasn't thinking at all. All I wanted to do was hurt myself for all the mistakes I had done. I slid the blade forcefully across both my wrists and then pulled down my pants and leaving cuts on my thighs.

I suddenly felt really dizzy, so I let myself slump agains the dirty wall, letting the blade fall to the ground. My arms were bleeding. Maybe I had cut too deep. Hopefully.
That was my last thought before closing my eyes, secretly hoping I would never wake up again.

My dream unfortunately didn't come true, when I opened my eyes again. I was feeling immense pain. Everywhere. And I felt like throwing up. But these feelings were suddenly replaced by fear, when I heard a door open. I thought it was a random person but soon after heard 2 voices talking.

"She has to be here. Where else would she be?" Lauren. "I don't know.... But why the didn't she say anything." Shawn. "Why didn't you follow her?" Lauren was now raising here voice a bit. "I thought she would come back." "Well, obviously something happened. Wait...Hello? Knock on that stall." I heard Laurens voice, probably pointing to the one I was in.
I hadn't locked it so it opened immediately. Gasps. That was all I heard before I lost consciousness again.
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Hiii
Did you expect something like this?
What is going to happen next?