Please don't fall (Shawmila)

54

This picture you see here is one I edited myself and it was my laptop background ! I love that so so much... It's currently helping me through a lot...

Camila's POV

I woke up on the couch. Wrapped in Shawns arms. he was asleep. This day was crazy. It was dark, apart from the small lamp by the couch. I was freezing so I pulled myself closer to Shawn and pulled up the blankets to my chin. While pulling the blanket up, my fingers touched a metallic thing on my neck. The necklace. The necklace Shawn gave me. The most beautiful present I had ever got... apart from my sister of course. I wrapped my hand around the heart. I was now officially his.. girlfriend and he my... boyfriend. This sounds unreal.  I just wanted to fall back asleep, right here on this couch with Shawn, but I couldn't. I, again, had so many thoughts in my head. This day had been great, apart from the morning... when I woke up on the roof. How the day took a turn. I woke up on that roof, thinking it would just be easier to throw myself down that building and ended up being Shawns girlfriend. I woke up, up on the roof, my feet hanging down the building today... walked back to bed and ended up having one of the worst nightmares... no... throwbacks. I was sorry for Shawn for having too keep up with me... I ended up having a panic attack right in front of him. I was embarrassed but he told me it was okay. He told me he was going to be there for me. And I really wanted him t be here for me. I wish I could be there for him just as much as he's for me. I will try my best. 

I let myself relax back into Shawns warm body which warmed me since I was freezing again. I needed to come up with something to offer Shawn. He gave me this necklace, played me some songs on his guitar and was there for me the whole day. I needed to do something I return. I luckily had my notebook on the table in front go the couch so 9 picked it up, opened a  page with a  song I had started a few weeks ago, when Shawn joined us on tour and tried to come up with some more lyrics. Everything I had until now were the name and the first two lines.

'Someone you loved' (Song by Lewis Capaldi, listen to it!)

'I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me'

'This all or nothing way really got a way of driving me crazy'

That was all I got until now. Maybe... 'I want...' no... no... 'I need...' yeah... 'I need somebody to...' to what? For what do I need somebody? Maybe to cure me? To heal me? Yes... 'I need somebody to heal' .... 'Somebody to know' Yeah... that sounded okay... Maybe more ideas would come if I listened to some music. I grabbed my phone and my headphones, which were also laying on the table and put them in. I pressed on shuffle and the first song that came on was 'Six feet under' great. It put me right in my feels and I started writing down my feeling on the paper. As a song but also as a kind of diary entry. 

When I looked at the clock, it was 3 am. Again. Why do I have no proper times to sleep? No matter where I am... Maybe my mom should have given me the medicine to sleep. She thought I would be able to sleep with Shawn... I thought so too... but that was clearly not the case. I should call my mom about this in the morning. I was still freezing, even though I was wrapped in three blankets and Shawns arms. I freed myself from his embrace and took one blanket with me, so Shawn could still have warmth. I took my notebook, my phone and earphones and walked outside , back to the roof, where we have been sitting hours before. But I didn't sit at the same spot I had been with Shawn. I sat back on the edge of the building, wrapping myself in the blanket and letting my feet bounce down the building again. The view was nice, as always. I opened my diary again and a page from when I was on tour opened. I read through it. 

'Tour is really exhausting. We had a show today and it went okay... on stage, the girls were nice to me, we were having fun and all but after the show? It was awful. I wasn't feeling good the whole day. I didn't eat again... I was getting daily messages from 'UNKNOWN' and I've been hurting myself for some time now. My arms were hurting but no one had notices so far so I did a pretty good job at hiding them. I was getting daily hate on social media and had no one to talk to it about it. I tried approaching Lauren once in a while but she always had something to do so I just got through the day alone. I sometimes texted Shawn but he was on tour himself. He tried contacting me a few times but since we were in completely different time zones, we never really talked. But it was the most contact to a friend I got in the last two weeks. My emotions were all over the place and I was tracking my calories. I saw a change in my figure but I still wasn't satisfied. I need to lose more weight!'

This was a really thought time. I had really no one to talk to in that time and losing weight was my first priority. It still is... but I wasn't really belt to, since my calories were being counted b Shawn... and also my weight once a week. Tomorrow would be the day when he would have to weight me and I was dreading the day. I was scared of the number on the scale and a bit worried of how I would be able to lose it again.

I closed my notebook again and just listened to music, while watching the view. I let myself fall on my side and close my eyes to hopefully get some sleep.

Shawn's POV

I woke up by the sun shying into my living room. I stretched out my arms and thought I had Camila on my chest but... she wasn't there. I sat up confused and looked around. I noticed a blanket was missing and also her notebook and phone. What the heck? I stood up and my first thought was the bedroom. I walked inside and it was empty. Where is she? I walked back and when I passed the door to the roof, I noticed it was open. I walked on the roof and looked around for a bit. The sun was already up. I saw a small figure laying on the ground with a blanket, very close to the edge. It was Mila, I could tell by her long, brown, curly hair. I quickly walked closer to her, scared she might fall. Even her feet were hanging down the building. I quickly fell to my knees next to her and wrapped my arms around her as I pulled her into my lap. Holy shit. This really scared me. I pushed her a bit away from the edge and laid her down on my lap, waiting for her to wake up. I had also picked up her phone and her notebook. What a scare in the morning. 

I felt her stir in my lap and then she sat up. "Mila. Oh god... don't ever scare me like that again." I said to her as I embraced her tightly and kissed her head. "What... why? What did I do wrong?" She asked a bit confused. "Mila... you scared the hell out of me... I woke up and you weren't next to me... then I come up here and you are sleeping with your feet hanging down the edge? Mila... I want to have you by my side. I couldn't bare to lose you. I need you." I said desperately, hoping she would finally see how much I loved her. I love her. But I don't think it is appropriate to tell her this soon. "I...- I'm sorry..." She whispered unsure. "Mila... it's ok. I just want you to now that I want you by my side." "Okay." She whispered again, as she gave me a slow kiss. "come, let's make something to eat." I said, reaching for her hand as I stood up. She grabbed it and I pushed er near to my body. She was still cuddled into her blanket which looked cute. 

Inside, we got ready for the day, since we had decided to go out for lunch today and made breakfast together. We made pancakes with some fruits and sat at the table together. "I can't believe what happened yesterday Shawn.... thank you.... really." She said, before starting to eat. "Mila.... I had this planned for some time now. I hope you know that I really  like you and want you in my life.... for as long as possible." I said, reaching for her and hand kissing it gently. She smiled at the action and picked up a blueberry as she reached out and popped it in my mouth. I smiled and did the same to her.  It was, for once, a calm and happy morning and it made me very exited for the rest of the day. 

Camila was dressed in a simple blue jeans and one of my hoodies. I also put on a hoodie and black skinny jeans. I took my phone and some money and told Mila to leave her money here. I was paying today. She didn't immediately agreed but when she saw that there was no point in arguing, she gave in. Her fever had gone down a bit but she wasn't at her best yet. I then intertwined her hand in mine and walked outside with with her. 

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Aren't they being cute?

oof... this chapter was pretty long, right? Sorry...

Keep recommending me stories about Shawn and Camila!!! I'm obsessed with them! Please! or else I'm dying.