Please don't fall (Shawmila)

62

Camila's POV

I was awake again, unable to open my eyes properly since they were burning so bad. I also had a huge headache, probably caused by how exhausted I was. I didn't need to move, to know that Shawn was next to me. His arms were tightly around me, holding me close and his bare chest calming me. I turned around in his embrace, noticing that he was still sleeping. I pressed my hands onto his chest, closing my eyes again and falling back to sleep.

"Wake up Mila." I heard Shawn whisper. I tried opening my eyes and was met by complete brightness. So I immediately pressed them close again. "Oh god, wait." Shawn stood up, closing the curtains in his room and sitting down next to me. "Come, we have to eat something. It's already 11am." I just turned around in bed and pulled the blanket over my head. I knew he probably had tons of questions to what I had confessed and I was definitely not ready. "Nooooo" I whined. He let out a small chuckle and put his hand on my back. Then he reached for the packet and pulled it down again. I had my eyes closed but slowly opened them. "Come." He said, reaching out his hand towards me for me to grab it and stand up. I hesitantly took it and stood up, my free hand immediately reaching up to my head. "Headache?" Shawn asked, understanding my gesture. "Yeah..." I answered, slowly standing up with him following suit. I pulled on some sweatpants and pulled down my hoodie sleeves so my arms were covered completely again and my stomach wouldn't show. Only six more days until my stitches would be gone. I was still very uncomfortable with Shawn being my arms. And I felt guilty for cutting my stomach again... But I didn't let it show. 

"What do you want to eat?" Shawn asked, when we entered the kitchen. "Maybe we should do... pancakes? Together?" "Yeah... that's great. Let's see what we need." He said, grabbing his phone from the counter, I did the same but instead of looking for a recipe, I opened Instagram. The first photo on my timeline was a picture from our fifth harmony account.  It were the four of them together, back in New York for one of their last shows of the tour. The caption was 'Almost done with tour. It was such a great journey and we all had tons of fun, especially these last few weeks! We just got used to it and now it's almost over😫💔' Especially these last few weeks... theses last few weeks were the ones I wasn't included in... Great. My mood was... low. But right before I could tap on the comments, Shawn had found the right recipe. "Here, what about this one?" He asked, causing me to lay my phone on the table and taking his to read through the recipe. "Yeah... looks good." I said, agreeing with him. We then stood up and I started getting the things out of the fridge while Shawn plugged in is phone and connected it with the speakers he had trough his condo. He put on the song 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran, a singer we both loved... and that song... my favorite... Every time the part 'Kiss me like you wanna be loved' he kissed me. On my nose, my chin, my forehead, my neck, my lips... everywhere. It made me feel incredibly loved. We made our pancakes together and then I set the table for both of us. It was delicious and he fed me, I fed him and only for a moment, everything was perfect... for a moment. Until my phone vibrated on the counter. 

'UNKNOWN' no... Hell no. Everything was good... I decided waiting until we were done eating and were getting ready, so Shawn had no way of looking at my phone. So I laid the phone back on the counter and continued eating.

"Mila? Can you give me your plate? I'll put the dishes in while you get ready okay?"  I nodded giving him my empty plate and standing up, pressing a kiss to his lips and going to the bathroom to get ready. I had brought my phone with me, sat my clothes on the bathroom counter and sat on the closed toilet. I then tapped on the massage and started reading what it said.

'UNKNOWN' (5 minutes ago): Don't get too used to be alone with him, you know he probably has to go back to work... so do you, eventually...

I knew it was only the truth but it made me incredibly sad, thinking about how life would be when we both would go back to work. I had enough time off and was actually dreading the time I had to get back on stage or into the booth to record or just being with the girls. But what was bothering me is that I knew Shawn would probably need to work really soon and I wold be with the girls without him. And I was scared. I didn't leave things on good terms with them... but they didn't care either. Just then a twitter notification entered my phone. I tapped on it the second I saw it and it switched from my personal account to our group account. It was a tweet that had been sent out from there. 

FifthHarmony: 'Hey Guys! We are happy to announce that we will do a small Christmas tour in December! Us five will be touring through North America and do small shows until December 26th! We have some new songs which we will be performing too! Get your tickets now and let us know if you will be there!'

What? I didn't know any of this... It's already...September. New songs? What? I was so confused. Just then another message entered my phone.

'Lauren'(just now): 'Hey Camila. I'm sure you read the twitter message we just sent out. We will be doing a tour in December and we have some songwriting to do. We will be coming over to talk and to explain everything. We know you're with Shawn, I asked your mom. So, see you soon! xxx'

What the frick... this has to be a sick joke right? This just can't be true... I have to tell Shawn that they are coming over though. I am absolutely not ready to meet them...

----------

Things are getting... fucked up again...

And since I'm not at my best... still... my updates won't probably be daily. I just sometimes can't find the motivation to write in these last few days.... I'll try though... I am so so so sorry...