Please don't fall (Shawmila)

70

I know... I know... I wasn't supposed to update but I did it anyways! Just check the authors note at the end....

Oh, and Wattpad is fricking me up right now.... when I open it on my laptop it says that this is part 1 and on my phone this part here is completely empty... so please let me know if everything is fine for you with my story... because I am loosing my sh-
I really just lost my mind when I opened it on my phone and this popped up.... I was so scared I was going to loose my account!!!

Camila's POV

Shawn was still holding me in his arms, whispering sweet things into my ear when I opened my eyes again. I looked at the clock. 11:37 am. I need to get ready. So I turned around in his arm, looking at him with tired eyes. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?" he asked, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "...okay..." I whispered, my voice breaking. "I... I need t-to get... ready.." I said, tried saying. "No... just please rest little more... that panic attack was pretty intense and I don't think you are strong enough yet." he tried. But I juts felt like i was trapped in this bed. "Please...let me... at least go to the living room..." I asked him. He sighted, closing his eyes and looking back at me. "Alright... do you want to get ready first? I can help you." "Yeah.... please..." I whispered back as he gently and slowly helped me sit up. My head was hurting and it felt like it would burst. I closed my eyes, holding my head to maybe ease the pain but it of course didn't help. "Here, come. " Shawn helped me put on a fresh hoodie. He gently pulled off the hoodie I had on, trying to not hurt me. I hid my stomach because I was still uncomfortable with him seeing the fresh cuts but he made sure to lean down and kiss them gently. "Thank you..." I whispered. "For what?" he asked confused. "For... for not being mad... for being patient with me.... for loving me... even though I bring so many problems..." Mila... of course... you don't need to thank me... how could I not love you? I love you so, so much... I could not be mad at you for being human... and what problems? It are just some obstacles which we will get through together." He reassured me, taking my hands and kissing me. He then gave e the new hoodie, which was one of his, of course and pulled it over my head, kissing me again. "You know... you look really, really cute sitting there on the bad with your sleepy face, messy hair and my hoodie which is so, so big on you..." he smiled. "I need to take a picture, hold still..." he said, taking his phone and taking a few pictures of me. "New background.... set!" he said. showing me his lock screen. I giggled, hiding my face out of embarrassment. "Don't do that, baby. You are pretty damn cute."

I was sat on the couch, while Shawn was cooking. He wouldn't let me do anything. So I sat on the couch with a book. He suggested I read a book instead of being on my phone which I found a good idea. His cooking skill were pretty amazing and it smelled delicious. He said it would be a surprise so I didn't know what he was making.

"Woahh... this is... delicious Shawn!" I said, stuffing my mouth with his self made potato fries and fried egg. He smiled, putting food in his mouth as well. I smiled too, picking up a fry and throwing it in his direction. "Heyyy!" he shouted throwing one back at me and then taking one from my plate and putting it I his mouth. Now it was my time to put."Hey these are mine!" "The one from me the." He said, picking one up and feeding me. I pretend to bite his finger which caused him to let the fry fall into my mouth. I laughed loudly and we continued eating.

It was time for me to leave. I was nervous again. "Do you want me to drive you there? So no one will see you." he suggested. "Yeah... that's probably a good idea..." "Alright then let's go." he said, grabbing his keys as I grabbed my purse with some money, my phone and other things...

As we got closer to the location, I got so, so nervous. The dream was still in the back of my head and I just couldn't forget it. I was scared that maybe it would be... true... I hadn't told Shawn about the dream nor have I told him why I had the panic attack. As soon as I get home I would be telling him about it. "You're going to be okay, Mila." he reassured me, putting his hand on my thigh. I was bouncing my other leg up and down to maybe get rid of some nervousness but it didn't help at all. I don't even understand why I was so nervous about seeing the... I mean... we're a group.... the most famous girl group of the world... why am I acting like this... "We're here." he said as the car stopped at a small parking lot. I closed my eyes one more time before looking at Shawn, leaning forward and giving him one last kiss before opening the door. "Call me when you want me to pick up, alright baby?" he said. I nodded, closing the door and walking towards the cafe. I looked at the clock.... ten more minutes. I looked back, checking if Shawn had left and when I saw that he had, I walked around the building into the smoking area, which luckily was empty and pulled out a cigarette. I hadn't smoked in a long time.

I lit it and put it in between my lips, sucking in the air. It instantly relaxed me. I made sure to keep the air a little longer in my mouth before puffing it out. I closed my eyes during the process, savoring every moment I felt the drug fill my lungs. If Shawn found out about this... I don't know what would happen honestly... but why would he find out about it? I stood there, five more minutes finishing my cigarette, spraying myself with some perfume, before walking inside of the cafe. Lauren had told me that she had reserved the table under the name Jauregui so I went to the counter and asked for the table. The waitress led me to the table, which was in a separate room and asked if I wanted anything. I ordered only an orange juice and the lady left again, getting my order. Now I was alone... waiting for them to arrive... here goes nothing....

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How is the meeting gonna be?

Oh guys... I am really bawling my eyes out right now... I just unintentionally opened my calendar app on my phone and it showed me this...

I just get so so sad, knowing that this would have been my chance to finally meet her.... I would have flown out to Dublin with my friend for five days to see Camila.... And I know this is in no way her fault! I completely understand it's just... it is so sad to me.... This was probably the only reason I was super happy and exited... the only thing I was looking forward to....