Please don't fall (Shawmila)

38

Camila's POV
I woke up a few hours later. It was now 7:30am. I only had slept for about 2 hours but I knew that was all I would get for now. My wrists were hurting and I was still feeling like trash. We were driving to our next location today so I had to get ready. I got out of bed, trying not to wake up Shawn who had his arms around me. I quietly took my things and locked myself in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and wasn't surprised at all at what I saw. Ugly.
I had a weird pressure in my chest, signaling anxiety. Great. I took a quick shower, rubbing open my wrists until the cuts bled again and putting on thick layers of bandages afterwards. I wasn't really sure if I should visit a doctor today...If my cuts get infected, I'm really fu*ked. Maybe I should talk to Shawn about this. I put on some leggings and a light sweater, since we were spending almost the whole day in the bus.

When I was ready I walked out to the bedroom, where Shawn was already awake and waiting for me to get out. "Morning Mila, did you sleep well? Even though it were only a couple hours..." Shawn asked, looking very tired. And I felt responsible for it but nodded my head, responding his question. Even if it was only a short sleep, it was peaceful. Probably because I was in Shawns arms.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Shawn was about to go downstairs and bring some food up to our room so I didn't have to deal with all the people. I still hadn't talked to the girls. As usual I didn't want to eat but had to so it wouldn't be suspicious. "Just bring up what you like, I'll probably eat it anyways." I shrugged unsure with a small smile. He nodded, opened the door and left to get food for us.

Shawn's POV
I left the room to grab some food for Mila and myself. I, again was really worried. What happened yesterday probably wasn't an accident. She did it on purpose and that's what was scaring me. The power her mind had over her actions. She looked so broken and it killed me seeing her like that. I had a shitty sleep, just thinking about Mila's well-being. I saw her in her Pajamas and she looked skinny.... way too skinny. I know she had been eating properly but the stress and everything is probably causing her some extreme weight loss. So I decided to get a lot of food for us.

What was wondering me was that none of the girls had checked up on Mila. I'm aware that we didn't tell them why we left but they knew Mila wasn't feeling well. Not even Lauren texted me or anything. I glad I'm here with Mila.... who knew what would have happened instead.

I entered the breakfast room and looked towards the buffet. On my way there I saw a table with Lauren, Dinah, Normani and Ally. The were eating and laughing together. Why didn't they call us? I was contemplating on going towards them but decided against it. If they didn't give a damn, why should I? So I made my way straight to the buffet, taking trays and filling them up with different kinds of foods. Then I asked one of the waiters to bring the trays up to our room. Since we were some kinds of VIP's we had that possibility. He told me it would take about 5 Minutes. I nodded and walked back to our room, looking back to where the girls were sitting.

After arriving at our hotel room, I noticed that the waiter with the food was coming towards out door. I told him it was my order, signed the paper and took it. I opened the door to see Mila sound asleep on the bed. I smiled, set the food down on my bed and unfortunately had to wake her up, since we had to leave in about an hour. I carefully shook her shoulder, causing her to wake up. She had been in a very light sleep. Her eyes fluttered open, which looked really cute, and she looked confused at me, until she realized where she was. "I brought food Mila." I spoke quietly, not wanting to scare her. She looked towards my bed where the trays were and sat up, smiling slightly. I sat in-front of her, reaching for a plate with bread and different kinds of spreads. I watched her carefully, tracking that she was eating enough. I could already see only by her hands that she had in-fact gotten skinnier.

She had eaten some bread and kinds of fruits and I gave her a bowl of yogurt, which she had at first refused to eat but gave in. I had eaten probably the same amount of food like her and was satisfied when I saw that almost everything was gone. We hadn't really talked but in my opinion it was a comfortable silence and gave us both some time to think. I did think about some things that had me confused. One thing was how the girls were around Camila. They literally were acting as if she wasn't around. No one checked on her. Not even Lauren and she knew what was going on with her. That was probably one of the reasons why Camila was hurting. I also saw a lot of online hate towards her.... and that made me really thing. In my eyes she was so perfect and I couldn't understand why she was getting so much hate. It was almost like everyone bonded against Camila and sent her this huge hate wave. In my eyes she was this perfect little girl with some flaws everyone had. She is one of the strongest people I know and overcame so many obstacles. And that was another thing that was worrying me. In my eyes, she was the girl I wanted to take care of. The one I wanted to be with. But I had a feeling she wasn't ready for that kind of..... love. She for sure needs someone to show her the love she deserves and I was ready to give her that but I also want to give her so much more...., I'll wait till she's ready....
In that moment I remembered the song I wrote for her....

"Baby, tell me when you're ready, I'm waitin' "

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It looks pretty calm.... for now