Please don't fall (Shawmila)

79

Camila's POV

I woke up by loud voices. The girls had arrived. They were screaming and probably looking through the apartment... and suddenly my door opened. "Oh my go- Oh... hey Camila.!" Dinah said to me, smiling slightly. "Since when are you here?" She asked as the others turned back around looking for the rest of the room. I looked over at my clock on my phone and it read 2pm. "Almost an hour now." I said to her. "Oh, thats cool." She smiled before softly closing the door again, leaving me alone. I grabbed my phone, seeing no notifications. Shawn was probably in the studio. But I send him a vibration, one. 'I miss you'. I really do. I feel so alone right now, even though the girls are here with me... but it didn't feel welcoming at all.

I decided to start unpacking my things since we would be staying here for 3 months. I walked over to my suitcases and opened both. I don't know what the girls were doing but they were being pretty loud. I was more of a calm person... thats probably one of the reasons why I don't fit in with them. But anyways.... I had a pretty big closet in which I put all my things, Shawns things separately so the wouldn't loose his scent. I changed from my jeans into some sweats and put on another one of Shawns hoodies, putting the one I had on back to where the others were. I also put away my things into the bathroom and hung up a towel, knowing I would be taking a shower later. I then walked over to the small balcony door and opened it, letting in some air.

I then sat back down on the bad, pulling the bear onto my lap, imagining it was Shawn hugging me. I closed my eyes and for a few seconds it felt pretty warming... but when I opened my eyes again and realized where I was, tears escaped my eyes. No... I don't want to be here... I looked back down at my bracelet, sending two vibrations. 'I need you'. He didn't respond. I was being so clingy... and I realized that it was probably annoying him. He needs some space...

"Camila?" I heard at my door. "Yes?" Are you going to eat dinner with us?" It was Ally. "Yeah, coming in a second!" I said. I need to change my hoodie. I don't need them to ask whose hoodie this is. I mean... they know I have been spending time with Shawn... but only as friends... not as girlfriend and boyfriend. And I hadn't really planned on telling them. So I pulled off the hoodie and put on one of mine, also putting the bond touch bracelet into the drawer next to my bed. They don't need to know yet. I looked into the mirror before leaving for the kitchen. Its crazy that I feel so uncomfortable around them that I even need to check if I look okay. I remember times where I didn't even care what I was wearing around them... but times changed. Unfortunately.

I walked Ito the kitchen, seeing them all sitting around the big table, discussing what to eat. "Oh, hey Camila, we're discussing what to eat for dinner.... do you want anything special?" Ally asked. I just shook my head, not really in the mood. "No... pick whatever you want..." I said quietly, sitting down one one of the chairs at the and of the table, resting my chin on my hands. The looked at me confused but the quickly decided on what to eat. I wasn't really hungry but I knew I needed to at least eat something small. We would have a writing session later so I needed to be concentrated. I walked over to the counter and took a banana and an apple before walking into the living room, where a small balcony was but with a different view. The view wasn't as pretty as the one in my room but it didn't matter. I just needed to get my mind off things. So I opened the glass door and stood on the balcony. You could see just plain houses and cars. I wondered what Shawn was doing, as I peeled my banana before taking a bite. I could hear the girls joking around in the kitchen. They had grown a lot closer while I was distancing myself. It was weird now... thinking how we used to get along so good. I finished my banana and decided that I didn't want to be in this crowded room... I wanted to be alone. So I walked back inside, closing the glass door and passing by the kitchen to walked to my room. "What's up with her again...." I heard Dinah whispered when I passed the kitchen. "I thought she was better..." Lauren. Better with what? How can I get better when the reason I was doing so miserable were... them.

I softly closed the door and walked over to my bed, putting on the bracelet again. I then grabbed my phone, seeing a missed call from Shawn. 10 minutes ago. So I tapped on the missed call to call him back. After a few rings he answered.

S: Baby, hey. How are you?

His voice made me cry and I sobbed into my phone, letting myself curl up on my bed.

S: Hey.... no, no... stop crying... I want to see you.... FaceTime?

C: S-sure...

i tapped on the camera icon on my screen and the screen loaded and showed his beautiful face.

S: Baby...

he said smiling sadly.

S: Stop crying.... tell me whats up...

I wiped my eyes and tried to calm down so I could tell him a bit of what was bothering me. But it was just... me missing him, a lot.

C: I miss you... a lot, actually.... and I don't feel comfortable here at all...

S: I miss you too Mila.... why is that?

C: They just... they just grew so much closer over them months I wasn't with them...

I said, tears still falling from my eyes, blurring my vision.

S: I wish I could be there with you...

He said, tracing the screen with his thumb.

C: Me too...

We then talked a bit more and I asked him about how it is gout for him, until I heard a small knock on my door. "I gotta go... I love you..." I said quietly so no one would hear it. "I love you too..." he quietly, understanding why. We had agreed on not telling everyone right now that we were together. I then hung up, walking over to the mirror and wiping my eyes once again, even though the tears had already dried. I knew why the had knocked.... we had a witting session now and would be meeting in the chill lounge. I took out my note book and a pencil with my phone and earphones and made my way to the room where they all were waiting.

"Alright... we still need four more songs.... I would say, everybody just wrote down some lyrics and we'll see then." Normani suggested. We all nodded and sat down in different areas of the room. I sat near the door on the carpet floor with my back against the wall, my phone next to me and the notebook in my hand. I had a lot go songs but I don't think they got in the group... so I opened another page and tried thinking about new songs. Maybe something with feelings? We only write about... sexiness and all that... the typical cliche things. We never really put out our feelings... apart that one time in 'No way' , whose lyrics I had written but barely got to sing.

I stared at the blank page before a line popped up in my head and I wrote it down. 'When you're weary and the road is dark...' maybe this could really be something.... another line 'an I'll guide you with the beating of my heart...' I continued writing a complete verse and the chorus, kind of satisfied with my lyrics. I then opened my beat app on my phone and started creating a small easy beat, since I wasn't able to do anything big on my phone. When I had something, which to me sounded pretty nice, I finished the complete song. It took about 4 hours... but I think it was with it. On top of the page I wrote down the title 'Call on me' and satisfied closed my notebook.

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Are they going to like the song?

Oh and I sometimes have some bad spelling mistakes because my laptop has the german keyboard and it somehow doesn't care that i put the options to english so it keep "correcting" things wrong haha
Just wanted to clear that up since I sometimes cringe when I read over my chapters✌🏻🤦🏽‍♀️