Please don't fall (Shawmila)

58

Shawn's POV

I made her breakfast in bed, which she hesitantly ate. I still hadn't asked her why she had that anxiety attack but needed to know. "Mila... why... why did that happen to you?" She stopped putting the food in her mouth mid air. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have as-" "No... I knew you would ask... and I knew I would have to tell you sooner or later, Shawn..." she quietly stopped me. "Tell me as soon as you're ready, Mila... I don't want to pressure you." She nodded and closed her eyes... letting out a deep breath. "I... I'm so nervous for that doctors appointment later... I... I think that caused me anxiety... Shawn... I am so scared." She whispered. I reached out for her hand, squeezing it three times. A habit I had picked up over the last few days. "I will be there with you, Mila. I won't leave you alone, okay?" I scooted closer to her and kissed her head. She leaned against me and just stayed there, nodding. I the took her fork which she had in her hand and fed her the scrambled eggs I had made. I made sure to not put too much on the fork so she would be able to eat without hesitating.

After some time we finished and it was time for us to get to the doctor. Camila was really nervous about all of this but I reassured her. She had anxiety leaving the house, entering the elevator and on top of that, paparazzis were waiting outside of the building, following us to my car, which didn't help at all. I made sure to keep Mila safe and hold her hand and when we entered my car, Mila had a tear running down her cheek. "Hey... hey, it's ok." I said, wiping away her tear. She took a deep breath and nodded. After a few minutes and making sure she was ok, I started the car and began the drive to the doctor.

We arrived and Mila wasn't ok at all. "Mila, calm down, you can do this." I said, putting both my hands on her cheek, trying to calm her down. She had her eyes closed, trying to calm her breathing. I had never realized, that weighting herself was such a big issue for her... I never realized she had... an eating disorder...It was breaking my heart. " I-I can't.... no..." she said, shaking her head. I knew we had the number of a therapist and I knew we needed to call him sooner or later... and now, where Mila was in this state, I knew it needed to be soon. I knew I could not talk to her about it now... but I would sometimes... "Come Mila... I promised I would be by your side and I will. You won't be there alone." I explained. She closed her eyes one more time, before backing away from me and opening her car door. "Thank you..." I whispered. I left the car and locked it, then walked next to Mila and took her hand.

When we entered the doctor we registered our names at the reception and were lead to the waiting room. On the phone we mad sure that it wouldn't be a busy day, since we would probably be recognized by people. So the waiting room was empty. We sat down on the chairs and Mila immediately grabbed my hand tightly. "It will be okay, Mila." I whispered, kissing her head again. "Karla CamiLLa CabeLLo Estrabão?" A nurse asked, entering the waiting room. I cringed at the pronunciation of her name but Mila stood up. "Camila is okay..." She said quietly to the nurse as is stood up. We were lead into an empty room and sat down on the chairs. I saw Mila quietly look around and when her eyes fell on the scale, I heard her taking a deep breath. "Mila, it's going to be okay." I whispered once more, before the doctor entered the room. "Hello Karla, is that right? I am Mrs. Reece. And you are Shawn Mendes right?" She stretched out her hand towards both of us, shaking both of our hands. I nodded. "Yeah, but please call me Camila." Mila corrected her name. "Alright Camila. I will be making the tests on you today and the next two weeks. I read through your files and today we are weighting you, right?" Camila nodded. "Okay so, are you okay with him staying or do you want him to leave?" She asked her, looking at me. "No, he should stay, please. He is my boyfriend." Camila said, without hesitation, which made me smile. "Alright so, tell me, have you been eating enough?" The doctor asked her. "yeah..." Camila said. That reminded me of the table with the calories Camila had been eating the last week I had brought. I took it out of my pocket and unfolded it. "I actually have a table we were supposed to complete with her calories. Here." I said, handing it out to the doctor. She took it and read through it. "You were very underweight Camila..." The doctor said, looking worriedly at her. Camila just bit her lip and nodded slightly. "83 lbs is way too little Camila. I just hope it isn't that bad anymore... but if everything written on here is correct, you should be getting better." I was shocked. How had I not noticed how underweight she was? I really hoped she was getting better now and I was really curious about hearing her current weight. "So Camila, would you please take off your sweater, pants and your shoes and get on the scale?" "My... my sweater? Why?" Camila asked, getting nervous. "Just so no extra weight will be added and we really just have your body weight." the doctor explained. Why was Camila getting nervous? Probably because of her scarred arms, which still had stitches. She hesitantly took off her pants and turned away from me, taking off her sweater. The doctor understood, why she was hiding her arms and crossing them in front of her stomach and let her be. Camil stepped onto the scale and the doctor wrote down her current weight. Camila did not once look down at the number but the doctor read it out anyways. "90 lbs... this is still not enough... but better. You are making progress Mila" It still made me sad, that Mila weighted barely nothing... I noticed she was very light, when I carried her yesterday from the beach to the car, but I didn't think it was this little weight. It worried me. "Alright, Camila. You can pit your clothes back on now. We are just going to talk about the next week until the next appointment and then you will be free to leave again." She smiled at Mila as she put her clothes back on. She slowly sat back down next to me and I immediately took her hand in mine as I intertwined out fingers. Mrs. Reece talked with both of us about the next week, about how much calories Camila had to eat each day and she told us that the stitches will be removed in the next appointment. We stood up, shook her hand and left the office, entering my car.

"It wasn't bad, right?" I hesitantly said, looking at her. "Hmmhm... " she said, putting on her seatbelt and looking out the ca window. "Hey..." I said, putting my hand on her leg. "You know that to me it doesn't matter how much you weight... I just really need you healthy okay? The numbers... thats not healthy... Please." She turned her head to me, giving me a small forced smile, which hurt me, but I let it be, driving us both back to my condo.

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puh...

So now, whats your favorite Song from her Album 'Romance'? Of course I love every song! But my absolute faves are: Used to this 🥰, Should've said it & This Love 🥺