Please don't fall (Shawmila)

88

Shh...

Camila's POV

'UNKNOWN' (just now): Let's see what I got here... *picture inserted*

I gasped. Shit. How... why ... it was the picture Matthew had taken... I was half naked laying on his bed... all of my scars on my thighs showing. How did he get this? I let my phone fall into my lap, placing my hands on my face, crying even harder. "Camila? Who is it? Your mom?" he asked immediately. The usage of my full name was still shocking me. But... why my mom? I shook my head. I can't tell him... I can't...not right now.. But... do I have other options? Probably not... I shook my head at the question. He saw it. "What then? Can I see?" his hand was already on my phone, just waiting for my permission. I closed my eyes once more before finally nodding. Here it goes... he was now going to know about the blackmailing... I was successful at hiding it for so, so long.... I picked my phone up, my eyes watch his face. His face dropped when he saw the picture... and probably the text. "What... what is this? Camila? What is this?" he asked, turning the phone, anger on his face. "Shawn its not... it's not what you're probably thinking right now..." "What is it then, Camila? What? I can see you... half naked.... even more scars... scars I don't know about...on someone else's bed? Are you kidding me?" "Shawn... no... this is not it... let me.. let me explain please..." This was going in the total wrong direction. "Then explain.... or else... I'm... l-" "NO... please... listen.... I- I ..." he can't leave me... or else... I'll leave... leave this...I can't live without him in my life... So I started forming words to explain to him my secret... "I.. I'm being blackmailed.... Shawn... look at the contact... I don't know who that is... I don't know this person... " "But you're in someone else's bed, Camila... You obviously know the person..." he interrupted me. "No... no... I was... forced.... I told you how I was raped...I almost got raped again...." I whispered, finally admitting it... to myself and him. "What? No... this is not true." he said, not believing me. "Shawn... I could never, never cheat on you, I swear." I begged him to believe me. "I was forced... I was drugged... and... almost taken advantage of..." I whispered. Matthew had drugged me... he wanted to rape me once again. "Camila... when... who did this? Where? Why didn't you tell me? Who is blackmailing you?" he asked, now concern in his voice. "This started... during the tour I think?... it came out of nowhere... and it never really stopped...." I admitted. "And who took this picture, this fucking picture of you half naked in bed?" he was angry again. "I- I don't know-" " Camila." he said sternly. "M- Matthew...." I said quietly. "Wait... the Matthew? Matthew Hussey? The one who you had a date with? " It wasn't a date Shawn... I swear. But... yes..." "Oh my god, I'm going to kill him." he said, clenching his jaw. "Shawn...." He couldn't do this.... he would kill me. Matthew would kill me. "What, Camila? What? Do you want this to happen again?" "No... but..." "No Camila. I'm gonna do something about this. I won't let this happen again. You think this is okay?" he was angry once again. I was looking down in shame. "I don't even know what to say.... this has been going on for so long.... I am only now finding out about this.... how? Your cuts.... when were you going to tell me? Were you ever? If I hadn't noticed this text.... would you ever have told me otherwise? If hadn't come down here? Would I ever have found out about this? I actually had planned on visiting you later... in late November... imagine... imagine me coming and you... and.... imagine me entering and you.... not here? What would I do? Camila... I could never... I..." he cried again. What would he do? If I would have... killed myself... maybe the problem would be gone...I would be gone... Shawn wouldn't be crying here... he wouldn't have to fly out here... "Camila... stop overthinking... don't even think about killing yourself. Never... I would never be able to live with myself. Nothing would be better without you..." He grabbed my hand, tightly taking in between both of his. Camila... I love you so much... you don't even believe it." I was scared of looking at him... he was angry at me... "Look at me, Camila.... " I finally looked up at him. He wiped away the tears. "I know this isn't the perfect day... or the perfect way for me to find all of this out... but... I still love you, alright?... Of course I am angry.... disappointed... How would I have found out about your cuts?" he pulled the blanket away from my legs, only covering my upper body, since I was still with no hoodie on. He was looking at all the cuts I had there, seeing even more than on the picture. "Camila.... your.... you.... you are.... so, so skinny....fuck... Camila... your legs.... how... how could you do this? Not only to yourself, but also to me?" he said, tears falling from his eyes. "Shawn... I'm cold..." I said quietly, asking to pull the blanket back to my legs. "I'm sorry... here..." he said, handing me my hoodie and pulling the blanket over my legs. "Rest for now, alright?" I nodded, laying back into bed, my mind rushing with thoughts. He pecked my cheek.... my cheek.... and left the room. What is going on.... is this ever going to be okay again?

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Shit... I am sorry.