Please don't fall (Shawmila)

92

Quick update because I am currently finishing this book

- time jump-

I usually don't say it but you will probably confused

Camila's POV

The first day of promotion. Today. An interview... and Shawn wasn't allowed to come... it would probably be... horrible. I woke up, anxiety building up in my chest. Shawn was sleeping but I needed to get ready. We had a style team coming over today so we would all look god. They would also give us clothes... it was gibbing me even more anxiety. I know I was the one in the group to always get... those really short skirts... and tops... showing everything. I was scared... scared I would get this kind of clothes once again... exposing my scarred arms and legs. So I stood up, taking my makeup bag and quietly walking into the bathroom to cover everything up. Shawn had put lotion on my scars once again so the makeup would stick easier to my skin. I pulled off my shirt and my sweatpants and my shirt exposing my scarred body once again... but the first thing I noticed was... my weight gain. I had gained weight once again... I had kept track of my calories in the beginning but... Shawn took the book away after he notice what I was doing. I tried keeping track on my phone but... Shawn made sure I ate as much as him. Always. So I just lost track of it somehow. And now I was definitely regretting it. Whatever... I'll get back to it later... hopefully. I pulled my makeup bag open, taking out the concealer and everything and began covering my legs and arms and stomach. I put on thick layers of makeup to make sure everything was covered and when I was satisfied and had put on some fixing spray, I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and walked out in only underwear and a robe. I placed everything back on the table and took my phone. It was 6 am and I was the first one today in hair and makeup. I kissed Shawns cheek and walked to the living room. "Good morning Camila." Our stylist smiled at me. There were three mirrors and tons o makeup in our living room. She pulled out the chair for me to sit in and started straightening my hair which reached down to my lower back. Then she made my makeup, starting by my eye bags. "Damn Camila, those eye bags are hugeee." She said jokingly. "I know..." I said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "But no problem for me." She smiled, staring to put some concealer only face and fixing everything. She put on a thick eye liner and a nice eyeshadow. "Alright, come on and put on your outfit. I chose this one." She said, showing me what she had picked out for me. Just how I guessed. A black, short skirt, showing my ass cheeks a bit and a cropped longsleeved, tight black top. Great. "Thanks." I forced a smile, taking it and changing in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, hating how much skin my outfit was showing. I made sure that my cuts were still covered, also the ones on my stomach and walked back outside. "Looks great Camila." My stylist smiled at me, fixing my skirt a bit. "You're done, could you get Dinah? She's the next one." "Sure." I smiled, taking my phone and walking over to Dinahs room. She was still asleep and I was slightly scared to wake her up. I know how much she hates to be woken up... I lightly knocked on her door calling her name. "Dinah? Dinah! Wake up." I tried. when she didn't wake up I slightly opened her door, peeking inside, seeing that it was completely dark and she was still asleep. I walked inside, lightly tapping her shoulder. "Dinah... get up... you have to get styled for the interview...." I whispered. She stirred and opened her eyes, looking at me. "Oh... thanks..." I nodded, still looking at her. "You... you can go now." she said kind of rude. They were all acting... really, really strange. I walked out and back to my room quietly since Shawn was still asleep. I sigh, walking over to the table and sitting down with my notebook staring at a lyrics I still hadn't finished. 'Real friends', the song I related most to... on the next page was another song I had recently started 'Somethings gotta give'... No reason to stay is a good reason to go... it is. I took the pen which was sticking to the side of the book, continuing a few lines on 'Real friends' ....'Why do I even try?....' Why do I?... Why am I trying...? For what? For who? 'Give me a reason why... I thought that I could...' hmm... I really need a reason... what is my purpose? Oh... I really once trusted them... 'I thought that I could trust you... never mind...' My once best friends.... betraying me like this. I tear rolled down my cheek, falling onto my notebook. I quickly wiped it away by pressing my thumb on my cheek so it wouldn't ruin my makeup. I didn't even sob. It was a quiet sob.... filled with... pain... inaudible pain. I didn't want Shawn to worry.

Almost two hours had passed and Shawn was still asleep. I had to get completely ready now, shoes, jacket and my small bag pack with my stuff, phone, a water bottle, my notebook, headphones, cigarettes and body spray. Shawn wouldn't be around so it wouldn't be a problem. The girls don't care anyways. I walked over to Shawn, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He woke up by the small gesture, returning the kiss and opening his eyes. "Baby, have a good day, alright? Text me if you need." he smiled tiredly. "I love you." he whispered, pressing another kiss to my lips before letting me go. "Byes, I love you." I smiled back, walking to the door and closing the door behind me. "Girls! The car is outside! Get ready!" one of the managers shouted. We were all standing by the exit, ready to go. The girls... ignored me... like usually but I just walked out the door down to the car. I sat down in the back of the car, once again, alone. I was used to it, which was kinda sad... I plugged in my my headphones and listened to some music. We had almost an hour to get there so I laid back in my seat, leaned my head a against the window and got lost in thoughts... I thought I could be alone for a bit... until my phone vibrated. I thought it was Shawn but when I looked down it was... 'UNKNOWN' ... Fuck.

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Sorry for cursing...

How is the interview gonna be?

GAME
tell the Shawmila moment behind the picture in the beginning