Please don't fall (Shawmila)

67

Shawn's POV

It made me so so so happy that Mila trusted me enough to take a bath with me. I was so happy with her in my arms. She fell asleep a few minutes ago and I continued tracing my fingers over her soft body. Her body is perfect. Her hips and waist, her thighs and her stomach... everything. When my fingers softly traced her stomach, I felt the uneven lines on the left side of her stomach. Without seeing it, I knew what it was. Cuts. Self harming cuts... I hadn't noticed it... and I felt guilty about it. Not noticing how she was doing? What kind of boyfriend am I? I felt... like I hadn't payed enough attention. Like I had failed her...And on top of all of that... the girls are coming and Camila will have to go back on tour and I am worried. I know I probably won't be able to go with her due to work... I had gotten a message from my management recently, telling me that I needed to get back into the studio before new year... I still hadn't told Camila and I've known for about two weeks...

I felt Mila stir in my lap and then suddenly gasping for air and sitting up. "Hey, hey... calm down.... it's me..." I said, placing my hands gently on her shoulders. I felt her breathe heavily and lean back against me. "I'm ... I'm sorry..." "Don't worry, Mila. It's ok. Take your time." I tried to reassure her. "You don't have to tell me what happened, but I'm here to listen." I Said, searching for her hands in the water and intertwining her fingers with mine. "Thank you.... it's just... I-I thought it was... someone else.... if y-you understand..." her voice was shaking and I kissed her shoulder. "I understand baby." I whispered, rubbing her sides, warming her since I could feel her shivering. The water had become cold and I decided to ask Mila to get out of the water. "Mila? I can feel you shivering... should we get out and get warm in bed?" she nodded against me and pushed herself a bit away from me. "I'm getting out first and will dry myself and then you can dry yourself ok?" I was about to get out when she pulled me back by my hand. "Shawn... don't make it so... complicated... just get out, I get out too and .... yeah..." she suggested shyly. I gave her a quick kiss and them getting out of the tub and wrapping myself in the towel. I then grabbed Mila's towel and held it open for her to come out. I knew she was insecure about her body so I walked closer to the tub so that she could get immediately into the towel without me seeing too much of her naked body. She stood up when she saw me next to her and I wrapped the towel tightly around her small body, embracing her and leading her to the counter. "I love you." I whispered into her ear, lifting her up to sit onto the counter. She didn't look at me or say anything, but I knew she heard me. I walked over to my clothes, grabbing my boxers and pulling them on without showing anything I shouldn't. When I had them on properly, I turned back to Mila, who was still sitting on the counter, cutely wrapped in her towel. I grabbed her clothes off the counter. I saw it were a pair of leggings and one of my hoodies which made me smile.

"Here." I handed her the things which she took. "Thanks" she said and then got off from the counter. "Do you want me to get out?" I asked, when I saw that she wasn't getting ready. "No.... maybe just..." "I'll brush my teeth okay?" I cut her off. She didn't want to be alone, I could sense that. So I was just going to busy myself. I turned to one of my three sinks and started brushing my teeth. I heard her starting to put on clothes and after a minute, she was dressed and told me she was ready so I turned around with my toothbrush in my mouth. She walked over also brushing her teeth and we got ready together. Of course I still had in mind to tell her about the message I had gotten from my management. But I pushed that thought out of my had as another thought entered my head. Mila's stomach and the cuts I had felt. "Mila?... Come here.." I said, when we were both done with brushing our teeth. She took a few steps until she was stood in front of me. I turned her around so she was with her back against my chest and turned us towards the mirror. I looked at us both and noticed how tiny she was... and I loved that. I slowly let my hands brush her stomach and I got closer to the bottom of her hoodie, well my hoodie. She noticed what I wanted to do and immediately put her hands above mine. "Mila, please let me... I promise I'm not mad... no matter how bad it looks, alright?" She hesitantly pulled her hands away, looking back in the mirror, observing every little movement I was making with my hands. I slowly pulled up her hoodie, until I saw the first red line on her stomach. I then pulled it up a bit more, revealing every cut she had there. I was surprised. It were... a lot... but fortunately they weren't even half as bad as the ones on her wrists. I then let the hoodie fall back down, turned her to myself, lifted her up and sat her back on the counter. Then I pulled up the hoodie again. She didn't do or say anything, watching me again. I traced them lightly with my fingers since I wasn't sure if they would burn. They were very thin lines but still.... I was.... a bit disappointed.

I kneeled down in front of her, putting my hands gently on her clothed thighs and kissing the sore part on her stomach. I lingered the for a bit and then pulled back and standing up again, pulled her into my body. "Please.... don't ever be scared to talk to me about your feelings... no matter what they are... good, bad, happy, sad, disappointed, exited... I want to be there for you... always.... I love you." I said, closing my eyes as my head rested in her neck. I felt her nodding as she caressed my back with her tiny hands. Since the cuts weren't bad, I didn't need to put anything on them. So I pulled the hoodie back down, letting her get off the counter and walking hand in hand with her to the bedroom, ready to sleep. I slept in only boxers, as always. I had made sure that Mila was okay with it, of course. She laid down first and I settled down next to her, pulling her in close. Her fever had luckily subsided the last days and I was happy that she could be comfortable again. She turned towards me, resting her head on my arm and her hands on my chest, as I put my arms protectively over her, giving her a kiss and a soft "I love you" before turning off the lights. "I love you too." she whispered tired. Her damp hair was sprawled out on my arm, chest and pillow. I closed my eyes too. 'I'll tell her tomorrow' was my last thought, before drifting off to sleep.

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I kinda love this chapter... I think their relationship is really that soft and I can't take it 🥺🥺🥺

The day I'm writing this, is the day that Camila had the Video of her and Shawn watching a movie together in her Instagram Story and OH MY GOD!  I really freaked out!!! And it was 1 am here... I rewatched it 102948092840 times holy frick.... they are too cute🥺❤️