A Furious Chick

Peace At Last

Katherine

"We're saying that as of now, any hopes for your wife's recovery is void. After seventeen hours in surgery for her brain and ten hours in multiple surgeries...your wife's body cannot handle anymore treatment."

"We keep her on the incubator until she's strong enough."

"Brian..."

"No, Dom. This isn't your wife. This is my wife. You have no say. So either support me or get out!"

"Mr. O'Connor. Your wife suffered complete dislocation of her brain, her scans are showing bleeding in her brain and she has a severe spine break. Her intestines are shifted, her legs are not receiving blood flow and her heart valves are weakening by the day, a heart attack soon comes."

"Doctor, my wife has fought in wars for this country. She's beaten the odds, she's surrendered, she's overcome brainwash. My wife is a damn medal. And you're saying you can't fix her?"

"Mr. O'Conner..."

"Brian."

"Brian, if your wife miraculously comes out of this alive...she will no longer have the ability to walk, speak, think, move her arms and she wouldn't even know who you are. Pain is the only thing she'll know. I need you to stop being a husband and be realistic. Do you want your wife to suffer, do you want her to live the rest of her days immobile and barely alive? This is not about you. This is about your wife."

They say death is something that you can't imagine. It's an experience that someone can't explain unless you go through it. I've waved at Death a few times in my years...but this was the only time she's waved back.

-

"What do you think about death?" I asked Brian one day as I laid on his chest.

"Normal people usually take in the feelings after making love and you're asking me about death?" Brian's eyes peered at me as I sat up and looked down at him.

"I just want to know."

He was quiet for a moment. "It's something everyone subconsciously fears but you can't really fear it because it's inevitable. I mean, you don't ever have to get on a plane or a boat. The worlds highest rollercoaster is something you could avoid your whole life. Using floats in the ocean, avoiding using to much oil when you cook. Things you could avoid. You can't avoid death. Especially when she comes for you."

-

Death is something that's inevitable. That's true. But death is also something that shouldn't be hard. For anyone.

-

"Katherine, I'd like for you to meet my girlfriend....Jamie." Kaleb smiled proudly, his arm draped around some girl shoulders.

I stood from my stool and walked over to her.

"Her hair is flat, her nose ring is infected, don't like her ear size and her jaw is crooked." I stated, looking at my brother. "Scratch this one off the list because if I see her again, I will kill her."

-

Death is natural. It's not a unknown thing. We all know she's creeping around every corner, waiting for the right time.

-

"Momma." Jonathan came to me.

"Yes?" I looked down at him as I mixed the cupcake batter.

"Brooke told me I'm stupid." He had tears in his eyes.

I paused what I was doing and picked him up, putting him on the counter, to my eye level.

"Do you believe you're stupid?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I'm only six." He sniffed.

"I asked you if you believe you're stupid."

He stayed quiet.

"If you believe you're stupid, then you're stupid. If you believe your ugly then your ugly. If you believe your annoying then your annoying." I told my son. "But if you believe your sweet and funny and kind and beautiful then you're that as well. You are what you make yourself. And you, my love, are not stupid. As long as you don't believe it."

He listened to me.

"Older sisters can be mean. Very mean." I kissed his cheeks. "They're supposed to help build you into a man. But Brooke, Quinn and Ruby each love you beyond measure. And I love you. And Daddy loves you."

I gave him the mixing spoon and he began licking it, smiling wide.

-

Like I said, I shook hands with death before and it was a easy goodbye. But this time, the hand shake the solidified my end was not me saying goodbye to death. It was saying goodbye to life. Life who treated me so wrongly at times but also gave me the greatest love story ever. Waving goodbye to Life as I crossed that border was the hardest goodbye.

-

"I told you we'd meet again. But I didn't think it'll be this soon."

My brother's face appeared in the darkness, light spreading all around him. My chest exploded.

"What did you do, sister?"

"I'll tell you what she did, son. She acted as a goddamn Howard."

My father next. My feet dragging me to him as we embraced.

"I believe she acted foolishly and irrationally but who I am to say anything considering my final moments." Nobody laughed.

I couldn't help but feel at peace.

"No...it was definitely a hard decision that put lives in a safe place." My mother walked over.

What?

"Mom."

"Mom has been dead for years. Did you know we have a sister?" Kaleb asked.

"Come now, you all. The circle is complete and we can now go." Mom warmly smiled, her aura shaking the darkness.

They all began to follow her shine.

"Where are we going, brother?" I asked.

Kaleb took my hand and gave me a bright smile.

"The Howard's always move as one. Nobody included. We couldn't leave without you."

"Where would you leave to?"

"Peace, Katherine." Kaleb sighed, looking behind me. "We're finding peace."

I looked the way he did and saw everyone. Brian, my kids, Alina, Dom, Letty, Rome, Tej, Maggie, Daniel, Leslie....I saw family. I took in the scenery and gave life one finale wave before taking my brother's hand and running after my Mom and Nobody and Father.

Peace at last.