Anger. Hatred. Betrayed.
Those three words described what I'm feeling right now.
I couldn't believe this. I just can't.
Daddy and I were really close. I'm his only princess though. I know how much I'm precious to him.
At 13, I still want to explore life. Marami pa akong gusting gawin. Marami pa akong pangarap para sa akin.
At least I'm expecting them to let me. Akala ko lang pala lahat ng iyon.
Maybe just like fairytales, iniisip kong magiging over protective sila sa akin dahil solong anak.
Marahil, gusto ko ring makita si Daddy na may hawak na itak dahil lang may manliligaw na akong ipinakilala sa kanila.
Gusto ko ring makita kung paano niya pahirapan ang isang lalaki para maging karapat-dapat para sa anak niya.
Or maybe kahit hindi na ganoon basta huwag lang ganito.
I'm still young for marriage. I'm not yet on my legal age! Though, I highly doubted if my marriage would be valid?
"Where are you going?," napahinto ako nang marinig ang boses ni daddy. I didn't answer and completely ignored his question.
They can't blame me. Ito nalang ang magagawa ko para mabawasan man lang ang hinanakit ko sa kanila.
I'm wondering kung iyon ba ang hindi nila masabi-sabi sa akin. Maybe they have reasons or something. Bakit kasi hindi nalang nila sabihin sa akin para maintindihan ko, right?
Honestly, I'm planning to escape and ruin their plans. Maitutuloy pa ba nila ang kasal kung wala na ako?
Pero paano? I have no single idea about their plan. What if I just misheard everything?
Days passed, wala pa rin silang sinasabi. Hindi ba nila napapansin na nag-iba ang pakikitungo ko sa kanila? Are they that numb not to even notice a single thing?
I don't want to confront them. What if I'm right? I'm scared for myself. Hindi ko naman pwedeng sabihin sa iba, afraid that my parents might know and do something to stop me.
Tumakas nalang kaya ako tapos palabasin na nakidnapped ako or maybe suicide? No. Gusto ko pang mabuhay.
"I think white would be a great motif for our daughter's wedding, Arturo. It's pure and elegant," I heard my mommy talking.
Nanlumo ako. Paano nila nagagawang magplano ng ganito nang wala man lang akong kaalam-alam? Kaya ba sila laging wala sa bahay dahil hinahanda na nila ang lahat?
Habang lumilipas ang araw, mas lalo akong naguguluhan sa kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. I was thinking if maybe I could just ask them and beg para hindi nila ituloy.
Not until I found something.
My wedding invitation.
Nasa tagong sulok ito ng opisina ni daddy kaya hindi ganoon kapansin-pansin. Nakabalot ito ng kulay cream na sobre at nakatali roon ang isang pulang laso.
Mapait akong napangiti. Akala ko dati, my wedding day would be one of the very special day of my life. I'll wear my wedding gown na ako mismo ang pumili. Napapalibutan ang simbahan ng paborito kong bulaklak. And of course, si daddy na mangiyak-ngiyak habang hinahatid sa altar ang nag-iisang prinsesa niya.
I even still remember what he told me when I was 7.
"When your wedding day comes, I think I would be the happiest father alive. You know why, princess?," he asked me while pinching my cheeks.
I shook my head. "No, daddy. Why?"
He just smiled at me while looking for something. It was their wedding picture. They're both smiling and really in love with each other.
"Because just like mommy, you finally found your prince charming. I am your king so you're not allowed to have a king, okay?," he joked.
If you're my king, then why are you letting me suffered like this?
"Tamara! What are you doing here?!"
Nahuli niya akong nasa loob ng opisina. I'm still scared but I think this is the right time to know everything.
"How about you daddy, what do you think you're doing also?," I asked him as I show him the invitation, feeling betrayed.
"Princess, please let me explain. That's not what you think it is," he answered while trying to get near to me.
But with the rage of anger in me, I pushed him and he fell on the floor.
"Tamara! Stop it!," I heard my mommy shouting as she entered.
I felt guilty when I saw him crying.
"Your daddy is sick, Tamara. He's nearly d-dying," I shooked my head as I stepped backward.
"What? How? Is this what are you trying to tell me before?"
My mommy nodded.
"Kaya ba palagi kayong wala sa bahay?," I asked.
"Nagpapagamot ang daddy mo, Tamara."
"Kailan pa? How about telling me about this? Kailan n'yo balak sabihin sa akin?," I asked, looking at my father laying on the floor.
"Just last month, sweetheart. Your daddy doesn't want to tell you. I'm sorry," napaiyak na rin ako nang humagulgol si mommy.
Yayakapin ko na sana sila nang maalala ko ang sadya.
"How about the wedding? I'm just 13 for pete's sake!"
Tumayo si daddy at niyakap ako.
"Remember what I told you when you're 7?," I nodded. "Hindi ko na mahihintay ang araw na iyon. It was just a fake wedding. I just want to see my daughter walking on the aisle with me. Gusto ko lang maranasang ihatid sa altar ang nag-iisang prinsesa ko."
I couldn't manage to utter any single word. I just cried, nodding my head and telling my daddy how much I want it also.
"It's your wedding day, princess. Why are you crying?," he asked me. He's now walking on the aisle with me, escorting me to the altar.
Napasimangot ako.
"I'm just happy, daddy," he laughed sanhi ng pagbagal ng lakad namin.
"My princess is getting married," he teased. Mas lalo tuloy akong napasimangot.
Nang malapit na kami sa altar, kinabahan ako nang makitang iiwan niya ako roon.
"Daddy! Where are you going?," I asked him.
"Leaving you with your husband," he answered like it was really my wedding day.
"In case you forgot, I don't have a groom here, daddy."
Nagtawanan ang mga bisita kaya mas lalo akong nahiya.
"Don't worry, princess. Balak din naman kitang ipakilala sa anak ng business partner ko," he said.
"Daddy!"
