Eternally His (Dazai Osamu x Reader)

Short Jokes

Your P.O.V.
I woke up at like 3 in the afternoon, next to Nikolai, who was cuddled up in my back,

"Niko." I whispered, touching his head

He opened an eye, "what time is it?"

"3:28."

He immediately sat up, falling back down due to how fast he sat up, "my head hurts..."

I laughed, "well you can't sit up that fast dummy."

"We should get you back to mafia headquarters."

"Yea I should leave now." He looked sad

"Hey~ cheer up! Go do villainous things!"

He smiled, "right."

We stood up and he pulled a shirt on, I still can't get over how big his body has gotten (👀), he noticed me looking then smirked, he turned himself to me, with a shirt halfway pulled on, "you like what you see?"

I forced my head to turn the other way, "I was just looking. You've gotten huge and it makes me feel sad."

"Well- if it makes you feel better, Dos is small compared to me as well."

"He's literally maybe 2 or 3 inches shorter than you."

"Yea...but with him being shorter I can always bully him." A devilish smile was plastered on his face

I laughed, "Well I'm short okay? Leave me alone."

"You're like what? (Height)?"

My eyes widened, "how'd you know?"

Nikolai laughed, "I actually got that right?! I said just the shortest height I could think of off the top of my head!! Wow you are short!"

"Bitch! I'm not done growing!" I shouted

"You might as well be! You're not getting any taller!" Nikolai collapsed on the floor and began gasping for air with how hard he was laughing.

My eyebrow twitched, "at least I'm not a fucking palm tree."

"The weather up here is great by the way."

"Fuck you! You're on the floor! Shut up!"

Nikolai, on his knees, laid his head down on the bed, "Wait!" It immediately lift up, he got up and walked over toward me, then got down on his knees again, he began laughing once more, "oh god! I'm almost as tall as you when I'm on my knees! You're so short!"

"Don't call me short!"

"Are you taller than that pipsqueak executive?"

"Chuuya?"

"The short ginger?"

"Yea Chuuya." I said annoyed, "Yes I am actually!" (if you are) "No I'm not..." (if you're not)

Nikolai rolled on the floor laughing, "it's not like it makes that big of a difference. He's still short!"

"Hey! Stop calling me short! We have to go!"

Nikolai's laughing stopped, he got off the floor and began to put his shoes on, "I almost forgot pipsqueak."

"I will end your entire existence."

"Okay~ okay~ enough is enough."

We walked out, he locked the door and put the keys in his pocket, "anywhere you wanna go before you go back pipsqueak?"

"I thought you said you were done!" I slapped his shoulder

"I lied~" he laughed, "I will never get over you being short."

"Just because I'm short doesn't mean I can't kill you. I'm closer to Hell I'll send you there." I glared at him

He laughed again, "anyway. You should go back on your own, I can't be seen in town."

"Huh why?"

"Because the plan we have causes me to reveal my face, I don't want you to get in trouble with the government for being seen with me."

"Alright. Bye Niko. I love you."

"Bye N/n, I love you too." He bent down to hug me while I stood on my tippy toes to wrap my hands around his neck. Then out of nowhere I choked him, he coughed then pulled away,

"The fuck was that for?!"

"It was for calling me short, asshole." I turned them waved "Bye Niko~"

He smiled and waved back, "Bye!"

I walked to headquarters and received an ear full from Mori for being gone for so long.
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i realized that most of the chapters i've written about the physical traits of y/n, i used my own so from now on i'll try and make choices to go with the given reader because of course not everyone is my height (i'm 5'7 from earlier chapters i've used my height and my approximate weight to describe y/n which it should be describing the reader) i didn't notice it at first but now that i have i'll be better ok remembering that