Eternally His (Dazai Osamu x Reader)

You're Not You

Your P.O.V.
The hallucinations didn't really stop after that day, I got one every 3 days that lasted for about 13 minutes.

B/f never told me anything about his and Nikolai's meeting either so I decided I was going to ask him about it. I summoned him to my given office,

"Heyo~" He said, in his usual tone, "man I'm beat."

"You're tired?"

"Yea, I've been feeling nauseous lately for some reason." He lifted his hands up and shrugged.

"Make sure you're eating properly even if it feel you're going to puke it back up, now don't force yourself to eat too much though, just a little here and there."

He nodded, "thanks boss!"

I sighed, "tell me about your and Nikolai's meeting."

He froze in place, "you haven't been yourself lately, have you?"

It was clear he was trying to avoid the question, I decided to let it slide this time, "no, I haven't."

"You haven't been the same since-"

"Why do you continue to avoid the question?"

"The question?"

"The meeting with Nikolai, tell me about it now." I said more aggressively.

B/f's P.O.V.
I was shocked, I froze in place again, afraid to move.

She was ten times more aggravated than usual, I attempted to calm her down, "Y-Y/n, just try and take a breath."

"I'm sick of waiting!" She slammed her hand against the table, "hurry up and spit it out!"

I'm guessing others heard the commotion in her office because Chuuya and Akutagawa soon walked in, "Y/n, Mori wants to see you."

Her eye twitched, "What?"

"Y/n." Mori walked in, we were all shocked to see him make such an appearance, "you haven't been sleeping lately. You're to the point where you can get easily irritated, I'm sending you home."

But of course, that didn't make her lose the attitude, instead it pissed her off even more, "What in the actual fuck do you mean you're sending me home? Huh?!"

Mori closed his eyes then said, "Y/n, I'm not going to argue with you, I am the Boss, I am your superior."

Is he testing her? or is he serious and making her see his superiority?

Y/n didn't say another word, she had her hands balled up into fists then said in a calm tone, "You're superior?"

She was angry, I knew she was. I was able to see her shaking, then her hands both twitched,

Mori raised his voice, this was unlike him, a side no one has seen before, "I am your leader, you answer to me! I will not tolerate a whiny brat looking down on me."

I looked back over to Y/n, it was clear this was the first time she's experienced Mori yelling at her before. Mori turned around, "everyone, leave immediately. Y/n, as your boss, I hereby suspend you from your mafia activity until further notice. Now leave."

He walked out, and the rest of us soon followed.

Mori's P.O.V.
I looked down at the floor as I began to walk back my own office, Chuuya and Akutagawa followed me, "You two want another mission I see?"

They nodded, however Aku spoke out about what just happened, "do you think the hallucinations are making her act like that?"

"I don't know. But until we can't get things figured out with her, the best place for both her and the organization is apart from one another."

"Are you sure about this Mori?" Chuuya asked, laying his hand on my shoulder

I looked down at him, "I'm sure. Although I don't like it either, it's the best call for right now. Y/n needs to get back to being her old self again."

Her old self...right.

This Y/n was way more aggressive than her usual self, I wonder why that is. I wonder why I yelled at her instead of asking her if she was alright, she could've been suffering.

Chuuya's P.O.V.
What if Y/n is suffering? There's no way I'd forgive myself if I didn't help her out, but as things are...will she even talk to me?

I clenched my fists, "Mori, after the mission, I'll try and talk to her. Even if she tries to attack me it's not like her hit will land."

Mori smiled down at me and touched my shoulder, I was able to sense just from his touch how worried he was about her, I looked at Aku who seemed to be in intense thought,

"How about we just take a mission at a later time and try to help her now? I'm sure she hasn't moved yet."

Mori smiled, "you guys may do as you like." He opened his office door and shut it behind him.

Aku and I took off running in the direction of Y/n's office. Sure enough, Aku was right, she still stood there, as if she was frozen.

"Y/n?"

Your P.O.V.
"Y/n?"

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.

"Y/n!"

I snapped of out thought and my angry e/c met a certain blue eyed ginger. I looked and next to him was Aku.

"Y/n, listen. It doesn't take a genius to know you're not you right now."

I turned my head at the comment, not me? What's not me? Or is it just I usually don't display this much aggression? Now that I noticed I've been extremely irritated lately...I wonder why.

"We think it's best, if you do go home for now." Aku blurted out, he was always more consistent with speaking his mind than Chuuya was.

That's right, the reason I've been so irritated...was because of the hallucinations, it's not that I want to be this aggressive, but due to what I've been seeing I'm on high alert when I shouldn't be.

It's not my choice, I can't just say to my brain "Hey stop, that shits bothering me" I couldn't do anything to stop it...

I was taken out of thought when Chuuya and Aku wrapped their arms around me, "it'll be alright."
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hey, i haven't been feeling well (i swear i ain't got corona) but i've been feeling really nauseous and tired so i might start uploading these chapters a little bit later than what i usually do, i still want to try and upload everyday so that's why i wrote this one, it was last minute and quickly put together so i'm sorry if it's not any good