Eternally His (Dazai Osamu x Reader)

Goodbye to My First Love

Your P.O.V.
"Dazai! Come on!" I shouted down the hallway.

My tall boyfriend walked out in his usual clothing, "I still think this is dumb." He grumbled

"Hey now, going out with everyone isn't that bad."

"That's not the point. It's those bitches."

I shrugged then smacked his shoulder, "seriously what do you have against Nikolai and Fyodor?"

He looked at me silently for a moment, I could tell he was thinking, "I suppose I can tell you..."

"Tell me what?" My curiosity got the better of me.

"Well, since you were kids, Nikolai was in love with you."

My eyes widened, "He what-"

"Yea, Fyodor told me when we were locked up. He always wanted to be with you and it even almost spiraled into an unhealthy obsession. He said he didn't let it get to that point tho, or something of the sort."

My mood crashed down, "So when he found out I was with you?"

"Absolutely heart-broken."

"And Haruki?"

"Heart-broken x2."

I sat on the couch and wore a sad expression, "I never wanted to cause Niko pain..."

"Baby- it's okay because he's with whatever her name is."(offensive but okay dazai fuck you too)

"Author-Chan?"

"Yea, yea. Whatever. Point is, he's happy now so there's no need to worry your pretty little head about anything. Basically, I've just kinda been insecure about it? I don't know." Dazai turned his attention to the hallway where Haruki was crawling towards us.

He got up and picked the baby up before extending his hand out to me, "now come on my love."

I grabbed his hand and he placed a kiss on my forehead, I smiled softly before saying, "You're the only one for me Dazai. I love you."

"That makes me happy Princess, I love you even more!"

We shared a laugh before leaving the house and made our way to Mori's office.

Dazai's P.O.V.
After a few knocks, I finally heard his voice, "Come in."

His tired posture immediately dropped after seeing Haruki, "Haruki!~ Papa missed youuuu!" He said extending his arms out for the baby.

Haruki laughed before reaching out for his grandfather, "Papa!"

Mori lifted Haruki up and began laughing, his gaze shifted back to us and his work expression came back, "What are you still doing here? Go."

I blinked a few times, I was about to roll up my sleeves and personally execute this motherfu- Y/n grabbed my arm before literally DRAGGING me from the room.

We finally made it to the bar we were supposed to meet everyone at, we haven't actually hung out since Haruki's birth. This was that break we needed.

Gin and Tachihara sat really close to each other while Higuchi cried in single. Author-Chan looked almost as if she was afraid to even look in either of her boyfriend's direction.

Tachihara, who was already tipsy, started to speak, "Ayo, Author-Chan, why you look so afra- *hic* afraid?"

She just blinked before looking down at the table while Nikolai smirked and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before looking at Tachihara suggestively(😉)

We finally sat down and I looked at the trio in disgust, "absolutely disgusting."

Fyodor looked at me before obviously placing a hand on her thigh, which made her jump a bit, before her face flushed, "The vibes? Immaculate."

"The sex? To die for."

"Will you two PLEASE shut the fuck up, I literally beat you BOTH with a rolled up newspaper." Author-Chan stuck her tongue out.

Nikolai flashed a smile before leaning back in his chair, "Nothing wrong with a bit of pain. Adds to the fun~"

"You just wont escape next time." Fyodor crossed his arms

Nikolai laughed before adding one last comment, "I'll channel my inner Hisoka for you."

She looked satisfied with these answers and nodded, "We'll see then."

I looked at Y/n, who seemed to feel out of place and intertwined our fingers. Her eyes were focused on Nikolai, he seemed to notice her staring because he turned to look at her.

"N/n, everything okay?"

"Can we speak outside?" She rose from her seat. Nikolai looked confused for a moment but remained seated up until Author-Chan forced him to get up.

3rd Person P.O.V.
Nikolai and Y/n exited the bar.

"What's wrong N/n?" He asked in a concerned tone but too afraid to get closer to her.

"Why did you never tell me?" The girl asked softly

"Tell you what?" The blond man was obviously confused, he wasn't sure what she was talking about. Then it clicked, Fyodor must've said something about his feelings for her.

"That you loved me."

Nikolai gave a forced smile, "Y/n."

The girl looked at the man in shock, this was one of the only times he had ever called her by her name.

"Yes, I was in love with you for a long period of time. You fell for Dazai not me. In the end, he was going to be the one, I wasn't. That wasn't my place to change."

"I'm not Dazai. I can't just openly confess how I feel about you and then you magically start feeling the same way. I was only able to make jokes and just shrug it off as nothing more than that. I really did love you. I committed to you even though we had nothing to do with each other. Now we're both happy in our respective relationships, why did you need to know this in the first place? What good does this do you?"

Y/n was able to hear the hurt in his voice, how badly this man loved her. How badly he wanted to be the one to be with her. She went on years not knowing a single thing about his feelings, only causing him pain. Yet, he still loved her.

"I really did love you. I loved all of you." The blond's eyes began to water, "I really wish you did choose me instead of him. You don't know how desperately I wanted that. I later decided that just being around you as a friend was enough. I didn't need to be your lover because you wouldn't have seen me in a different light. To you, I was just a older brother of sorts."

The female's gaze was fixated on the mess of a man in front of her, she couldn't bring herself to look away from him. He covered his face, not allowing her to see him cry, he smiled softly before removing his hand and practically pleading with her, "can we not talk about this again?"

She couldn't bring herself to say anything. The two just stood there in silence for minutes. Fyodor, who overheard the entire conversation, smiled to himself, "You can finally move on, Niko."
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😔i'm not crying, you are. anyway, this a bit late but i've been busy, i'm starting to get in shape and stuff and i missed my nightly workout just to finish the chapter, i love you guys and stay safe😚