Darker Side of The Moon (Angel Devourers #1) WangXian FF

68

"I thought you hated me because I lied to you." Wei Wuxian shamelessly hugged Lan Wangji while sniffling into his shirt. It was another shirt ruined by his tears and snot.

"I thought you didn't care about whether I hated you or not? Were you not just taking me as your teacher, maybe a good friend, and a so-called boyfriend, but no more than that?" Lan Wangji was feeling hurt, and he craved for another cigarette right now. Or a stiff drink. Didn't matter that it was still early in the morning. 
 
He just had this realization that his feeling was real toward this person, who was now sniffling and sobbing all over his shirt. The problem was, he wasn't sure if Mo Xuanyu had any other feelings other than platonic one toward him or at all, since he was quite adamant on refusing to be his 'fake girlfriend' back then. So, it's kinda sting, seeing how he, Lan Wangji, the misogynist Ice Prince, fell in love with an adolescent boy , and was outright refused without any reason.

True, Mo Xuanyu probably enjoyed kissing him, maybe as much as he did, and also some other physical connections. But was it just because they had to act like lovers, or something more? 

How he wished that he could read Mo Xuanyu's mind. The youngster seemed to have layers and layers of secrets and more to the eye, than he thought he had when he first met him. Until this minute, Mo Xuanyu was the only person he could not read or predict at all. Even after he told him that he was really a boy, never in a million year would he ever suspect him without Mo Xuanyu telling him himself.

Lan Wangji knew how decisive and stubborn Mo Xuanyu could be, judging by how firm he rejected the Wen's proposal, the Jin's adoption, and Yuwen Xing's offer to be her goddaughter. Oh he would, if he was given the chance to do it. Unfortunately it was made in front of the public, so he had no choice but to involuntarily accept it out of respect toward the elder.

Mo Xuanyu was not a person who craved power or money, he was… him. And that was one of the things that made him fall in love. The strong belief in himself and his abilities. Given the time, he should be able to conquer the world. And probably left him behind with not much thought.

Lan Wangji dreaded the time when he would leave him without looking back. He just didn't have confidence, when it came to Mo Xuanyu, whether it was the girl version or the boy one. He just had this feeling that Mo Xuanyu would not want to stay. Even if it was for himself. He had this… air about him that was so fleeting, he could just disappear at any time without notice.
 
He was so screwed. 
 
He couldn't get his head out of those what-if scenarios, ever since he realized that he fell in love with Mo Xuanyu. 
 
He was definitely having a severe case of love sickness.

"I-I don't know if this is love or anything, because I have never been in love in my whole life," and the previous one too. "But I know for sure that I do care about you. A lot. So much that it hurt when you left so abruptly. You even made me cry." He pouted, and Lan Wangji's heart clenched as he unconsciously kissed that pouty mouth. Screw what Mo Xuanyu felt, Lan Wangji would take anything the boy was willing to give. 

Lan Wangji tried to comfort him by prying those beautiful soft lips open and kissed him with all his feelings, making him moan. The moan still had that same effect that went straight to his southern region. So, yeah. Nothing had changed. Not his feelings, nor his full-fledged desire. In fact, the feeling was just getting stronger with the passing of the time.

So he did something to test the water. 

"Can I see you?"

What.
 
"What do you mean? You see me now, right?" Wei Wuxian suddenly panicked. He was so flustered with all kinds of emotions that was suddenly taking him over with force.