It'll Always Be You | MYG x Reader

Ch 28 | Promise

Y/N's POV:

"He said that?" Kai asks with ramen noodles hanging from his mouth. "Damn, okay Yoongi. I'm actually impressed."

"Yep," you nod, poking around at your own food. "He said he wouldn't do anything disrespectful like try to kiss me or something while I'm with Namjoon but he made it clear he's in love with me and that he's not holding back anymore."

"That's still a bit disrespectful if he thinks we're dating," Namjoon huffs, leaning back in his seat. "But I can see that Hyung even holding back this much is nearly killing him."

The four of you are back at the hotel and Namjoon ordered some to-go dinner from the ramen shop down the road. You're all at the small breakfast table in your suite and you just finished telling them about your conversation with Yoongi.

"Do you two have to continue being fuck buddies?" Jimin asks you and Namjoon, making your shoulders tense. He notices your reaction and quickly says, "I don't mean you guys are doing anything wrong, I'm just trying to understand. It's pretty clear to me that you and Yoongi-hyung are in love with each other. Is getting some physical relief worth all this?"

"Less than six weeks ago, Hyung was telling [Y/N] she's worthless and doesn't deserve to be loved," Namjoon says angrily, crossing his arms over his chest. "I understand where you're coming from but don't diminish what we're doing to just 'some physical relief.' [Y/N] and I are both dealing with our own demons at our own rate."

Jimin looks right into your eyes and asks, "Don't you feel guilty at all?"

Hot fury courses through you but the look in his eyes stops you from smacking him. He's not looking at you with judgement, he's looking at you with concern. "I'm not asking this for Yoongi-hyung's sake," he continues. "I'm asking for yours, [Y/N]. I know you. You're kind and you're always thinking of other people. I know this situation is going to start eating at you eventually."

"I'm not a fan of Yoongi but he does have a point," Kai says, running his hand over Jimin's fluffy blonde hair before turning to you. "Yoongi hurt you so deeply he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Not now, not ever. But this isn't about what he deserves, it's about what you deserve."

"Are you feeling guilty?" Namjoon asks, gently cupping the nape of your neck like he always does. Your eyes search his as you try to think of the right words.

"I don't really know how to explain it," you say, holding his gaze. "When it's just us two, I don't feel any shame or guilt. You make me feel good about myself and we definitely have amazing physical chemistry..." you trail off and look down at your lap. "But when I look into Yoongi's eyes and see how badly he wants to make things up to me, I do start to feel a little sad. Like maybe I'm doing something wrong."

"Have you considered telling him you're just fuck buddies?" Jimin asks, making your jaw slack.

"I can't," you say quickly, shaking your head. "I'm scared he'll have the same reaction you did. I don't want him to think I'm doing anything to get revenge or punish him."

"Hyung isn't a hothead like I am," Jimin huffs out a laugh, resting his head on Kai's shoulder. "I think he'd hear you out and believe you, especially after all that's happened."

Your throat starts to close at just the thought of Yoongi hating you again. There's a little PTSD there from how quickly your happiness was ripped from beneath you. You're finally in a good place mentally but you're not in a headspace where you can risk anything bad happening. You'd really never recover if anything like that happened again.

It gets a little hard to breathe as your lungs start to constrict, and your palms start to get sweaty on top of your thighs. Namjoon senses your blooming panic attack and quickly wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his side.