Romantic Killer But I Made It Gay

Part 100

"Oh come on!"

I glare at Koi, seated on the other side of the restaurant but still way too close for my liking. Today Emi and I decided to finally cash in one of my "get a free sushi meal" tickets from back when I went on a date with him. Unfortunately, that means the egg has to come with us to the restaurant in order to pay. Fortunately, since they're no longer connected to HQ, Koi had to get a job to earn money for himself. He doesn't have to pay for a house or food, since he doesn't have to eat and lives...wherever magic eggs live. But he still wants to buy things for himself and for me, which means I'm gorging on his hard earned money, which feels nice.

Emi laughs, patting my back. "Let's order another roll, just to see how much he's got left."

After Tsukasa and Junta found out about Kiki, I decided I should tell Emi too. It's only fair; she's been with me through thick and thin with me, she deserves to know what I've been going through too. Of course she was confused at first, but all she had to say was: "That explains why I never liked them!" and after that she accepted it.

"Make that two." I grin across the restaurant at Koi, who frowns worriedly.

"I can't believe our first year of high school is over," Emi sighs, leaning back in her chair. "It felt like it went by so fast. Although, I bet you enjoyed every second of it, what with living with your soulmate and childhood friend."

I flush. "I don't think we can call him my soulmate when I haven't even told him how I feel."

"True." She devours another role, chews, and continues through it, "It's been half a year, Haru. You've gotta man up before this opportunity passes you by."

"I can't confess," I admit, "because Junta's still living with us. Don't get me wrong, I love living with him, but...I hate making him the third wheel, especially since he likes me too."

She nods thoughtfully. "That is quite the conundrum." She snaps like she's got a genius idea. "Why don't you just date both of them? That'll work!"

"I'm afraid I don't practice polygamy," I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "But I wish it were that easy."

She leans across the table to pat me on the head and I smile sadly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could give you a magic solution but your situation...kinda sucks."

"Really?" I joke blandly. "I hadn't noticed."

The waiter appears next to us, two plates of sushi in her hands that she sets on the table. I try to ignore the fact I jumped so high I nearly went through the roof and thank her politely. Once she leaves I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm always on edge talking about these things, as if Junta or Tsukasa might show up at any moment.

Our life together has been amazing, I have to admit. Just having other people in the house is great, and make that two of my favorite people? What's better than that? Kiki, of course, someone knows how I feel about Tsukasa, and they've been trying all kinds of tricks to get us together, all of which I've been shutting down.

Tsukasa's changed a lot. He laughs and talks a lot more, and his eyes seem to have a certain sparkle to them that they didn't have when we first met. We've had plenty of romantic experiences, but it seems like every one of them is interrupted by Junta or some other thing.

I've had plenty of moments with Junta, too, but I don't feel that spark I know a relationship needs. He's an amazing person and I want him to end up with someone who truly loves him back. I'm just afraid that person isn't me. I feel awful about it, which is probably why I haven't confronted him. In the end, it all boils down to me being afraid—

I wince as I pinch the skin between my pointer finger and thumb. No more negative self-talk, that's what everyone says. I've gotten a lot better about it, but it still sneaks in sometimes, so I've decided to do this to remind myself. My housemates are also trying to get me to "live for myself," which I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm trying my best at it.

I smile sadly. Living with those two has bettered me in more ways than I can count. I don't want it to end, but I know it can't continue on like this, with Tsukasa and I awkwardly looking around the sad Junta at each other. I have to change something, or else this will never end.

"Emi."

"What?" she asks around a mouthful of sushi. I wait for her to finish chewing, then take a deep breath.

"I'm going to change things."

She blinks, realizing my serious mood. "What do you mean?"

"When I get home," I give her a shaky but determined look, "I'm going to tell them how I feel. Both of them."