How Could This Be Real?

23. Want To Go For A Walk?

When I turned the corner, Cam was sitting on the window ledge, looking out and rolling a coin across his knuckles effortlessly. He hadn't noticed me so I took this opportunity to thoroughly look him over for the first time.

He was slightly taller than me with a relatively slender build. He was handsome, no doubt about it. I could tell why everyone liked him. He had a round face with a light dusting of freckles. His eyes were dark blue and sharp, like he always had an idea. He was still wearing his baseball cap but the one time he'd had it off, I saw that his hair was medium length and choppy, but in a way that worked for him.

Seeing him completely unguarded like this made me curious. I hadn't thought about it before, but as I looked back on it, he always seemed conservative. Like he was trying really hard not to say the wrong thing. I took a step forward and immediately saw his defenses go up. He put the coin in his pocket and sat up straighter.

When he saw it was me, he hopped off the ledge. "What did she want?"

"You."

He seemed confused for a moment but then understood and sighed. "Well that's just fantastic."

I waved it off, "She's not a problem. A major annoyance, sure, but not a problem."

He smirked, "Ready to go?" I nodded so we started walking outside. After a minute, I pulled a quarter out of my jeans pocket and tried to roll it over my knuckles like he had done, but it was a lot harder than it looked.

"How do you do that?" I asked after a few failed attempts.

He glanced at what I was trying to do and took out his own coin, doing tricks with it absentmindedly. "I don't know really, my mom taught me a long time ago. It's just habit now." I kept trying, but couldn't do it. Eventually I ended up dropping the coin, so I bent down to pick it up and he did the same. We both reached for it and our fingers brushed against each other.

Something shot up my arm, some sort of energy. It felt... good. He looked up and our eyes met, sending another current surging through me. I couldn't quite place it. It was almost like... what I had felt with David. This thought concerned me, so I grabbed the coin and quickly stood up, shoving my fists into my sweatshirt pockets.

"I guess I'm not very good at it."

He stood as well, but wouldn't look at me. "It just takes practice."

We walked silently the rest of the way to the car. The ride was awkward, us trying to make small talk but failing, caught up in our own thoughts. What just happened? What was that feeling? It seemed familiar, but different. I couldn't be starting to... could I? No, I can't do that to David. Cam is just a friend and that's how it's staying. When we got to my house, I thanked him for the ride and went inside.

I checked my computer and saw multiple missed Skype calls and Facebook messages saying things like, "Where are you?" "Are you alright?" "I miss you." I didn't respond because I wasn't sure of myself right now.

***

The next day, rehearsal was pretty rough. We were avoiding eye contact, forgetting lines, stumbling around. Darny noticed and once she had dismissed everyone, she held us back.

She crossed her arms, "What happened today?" We didn't respond. "Did something happen between you two?" We shook our heads. "Oh, come on, I can tell something did." We remained silent and she sighed, "Alright, I guess I'll just speak to you individually then. Angel, come with me please."

I glanced at Cam, but he was staring at the floor and doing his nervous tick of drumming his fingers. I walked with her to the dressing room and she closed the door. "Spill."