How Could This Be Real?

65. Happy New Y-!

I went to Mindy's house for New Year's Eve. She was throwing a party, but it wasn't terribly big. Just her close friends and a few people her brother invited over. It was a lot of fun and we stayed up well past midnight, talking and playing games and pulling pranks on each other.

This week had been pretty crazy on my channel because I had uploaded my very first video last year on December 27th, so I wanted to do something special for it's "birthday". I'd also been planning something big for New Years on my endless series, so I'd posted that video this morning as well. I was really curious as to how people would react to it. I think they'll like it, I mean I worked super hard on it. Lastly, I was getting really close to two million subs. I figured I'd get there by the end of the week, so I was working on a little something for that too.

I didn't wake up until noon the next morning since last night had taken so much out of me. I worked on my subscriber special for a while and eventually checked on yesterday's video. It was getting a fantastic response, everyone was saying that it's unlike anything they've ever seen. I felt really proud of it and made a mental note to thank all the people that had helped me with it.

I had just finished a successful recording session when my Skype went off. I glanced at the time- 5:30. It was kind of an odd time for anyone to be calling. I looked at the name and was even more surprised- Charming. It was nearly midnight where he lived. Why would he be calling at this time?

I put on a smile and pressed accept. "Happy New Y-!" I stopped when he materialized on my screen and my expression instantly melted into one of worry and concern. "Are you alright? What happened?"

He looked worse than I'd ever seen him. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like he'd been crying a lot. His clothes were dirty and terribly wrinkled. His hair was sticking out in multiple directions and looked thin in some spots, as if he'd been trying to pull it out. I glanced over his shoulder and saw that his office was a total disaster zone. The chairs were tipped over, posters had been ripped off the walls, his nerd shelf was completely torn apart. I looked back to him and my heart ached. What could have possibly happened?

His gaze was fixed on some spot below the monitor and the look in his eyes was pure grief. "Angel..." His voice was rough and whispery and full of pain. It was the worst sound I'd ever heard. "I'm so sorry..."

I knit my eyebrows with concern, "What ever for?"

He grimaced and turned his head away, his eyes shut tight. "I know there's no excuse for this... I don't know what I was thinking..." He sniffled and dipped his head even more. "I can only hope, that somehow... you'll find a way to forgive me. Find a way... to love me again."

My heart was trying to throw itself at him, trying to connect with his and tell him that everything was okay, but he was locking me out. "Oh, Charming."

His whole face scrunched up in agony, "I don't deserve that name."

My hands were fidgeting worriedly, but I made sure they were out of frame. What in the world is he talking about? Why does he think I'd stop loving him? "Tell me what happened," I said gently.

He took a few shaky breaths, his fist pressed against his mouth as if he were trying to hold something in. Eventually, he slowly ran a hand through his hair and grabbed a fistful of it in the back, shaking his head solemnly. He bit his lip and began, speaking with gulps or deep breaths between words, as this were the most difficult thing he'd ever had say.

"I went to a New Year's Eve party at my neighbor's house. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm a bit of a... social drinker..." He cleared his throat and I really wished he would look at me as he spoke, but that wasn't going to happen so I just waited for him to continue. "We were all having a good time, laughing, and drinking a few pints, and all that party stuff. However... it didn't take long for the alcohol to kick in. Nothing felt real, it was like I was in a dream." He closed his eyes and frowned, "There was... this girl... I talked to her for a while, I don't remember what about, but the alcohol was messing with my head... It made me want to do something, spur of the moment, so I... I... " A sob escaped his lips which sent a shockwave through my whole body. "It didn't mean anything," he stuttered, shaking his head. "I didn't have any feelings for her what so ever, I swear." He buried his face in his hands, "I'm so sorry, Angel. I'm so, so, so sorry." His shoulders were trembling from his sobs and I knew he wanted to cry, but his eyes were all dried up.