How Could This Be Real?

88. I Need You

We made our way to the den and I watched David record while I worked on editing or planned episodes and stuff like that. The whole time though, I was dreading when he would finish and we'd have to talk. When I'd have to tell him what was going on while he was in jail. I had no idea how to come out about all of it, I mean this was huge. I'd confirmed our relationship to millions of people without his approval. I mean I'd had to do something fast and there was no way I could've asked him what to do since I hadn't been allowed to see him, but I was still afraid that he wouldn't care about that and would just see this as a terrible disaster that I'd caused.

"And I will see you, all, later. Bye!" He signed off the video he was making and pressed stop on the recording before he spun the chair around to grin at me. "Whew, I forgot how hard it is to keep your energy up for twenty straight minutes."

"You were only gone for a week," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but when you're usually working every single day, a week feels like a lifetime."

I nodded in agreement, "Tell me about it." I looked him over and bit my lip nervously. Well, I guess it's time. I patted the spot on the couch next to me, "Come sit by me. I... need to talk to you about something."

He smirked, "You can't talk to me if I'm sitting here?"

I sighed, "It's serious, David."

His carefree expression instantly morphed into a concerned one. "Oh, um, okay." He walked over and sat so close that our thighs were resting against each other. He gently took my hand and looked into my eyes to tell me that he was listening. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath, "Well, a lot happened while you were... away. It was... very emotional, and all I was doing was thinking about you." I gulped, "Sometimes, even when I didn't want to..."

He frowned, "What do you mean?"

My fingers absentmindedly kept moving in his grip, as if they couldn't find a comfortable position. "You know how in the Mall of America, we weren't really... thinking about what we were doing? How we just kind of, did whatever we wanted?"

"Yeah..." he said slowly, obviously confused.

"Well... I don't really know how to say this, but..." I sucked on my lip for a moment, trying to delay the inevitable. I finally sighed, "Someone was following us. They took pictures... and posted them." His expression didn't change and my heartbeat sped up. I quickly carried on, "I didn't find out until Monday and by then it was so out of hand, I didn't know what to do. I was so scared and confused and wished you were here, but obviously you weren't so I had to do something. I'm really sorry, I just felt like I didn't have any other choices." Tears started to leak out of my eyes and he rubbed my arm tenderly.

"Hey, it's okay, just slow down." I took shaky breaths, trying to calm myself and keep the threatening sobs at bay. "What happened after they posted the pictures?"

I bit the side of my tongue, trying to distract myself from the words that had to come out of my mouth. "I tried to get her to take them down, I really did, but she refused. People didn't understand... they were being so mean, I just wanted to make them stop. I..." my breath hiccupped and more tears flowed. "I told them, David..." I whispered shamefully. "They know about us... I'm so sorry..."

He delicately pulled me into his embrace and I returned it gratefully, needing something to hold on to as I remembered everything that had happened and all the tears that I'd shed. "Oh, Angel... You had to go through that all by yourself?"

I sniffled, "Well, I had Cam and Mindy, but... I really just wanted you."

His arms tightened around me, "Oh my god, I can't imagine how hard that must have been."