How Could This Be Real?

80. We Were Just Going

Sleeping that night was difficult. I kept having strange dreams that started out wonderfully with David and I spending time together, but they kept getting interrupted by something terrible. Each time I woke up I immediately forgot what the bad thing was, but I felt like it had something to do with my panic attack. I need to know what happened. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't remember. I decided I would ask my friends tomorrow at lunch.

My parents were concerned about my breakdown and thought I should stay home that day, but I convinced them that I was fine. So, with only a few hours of sleep and a foreboding memory behind me, I walked into the school building.

I was still getting odd looks from everyone, even more now that I'm sure word had spread of my somewhat violent outburst. Other than that and my friends always looking concerned when I talked to them, the morning went by normally and quickly. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the cafeteria with Mindy on my left and Cam on my right.

When everyone was off in their own conversations and I figured they wouldn't notice me, I tugged on my nearest friends' sleeves and they turned to me. "Guys," I started in a hushed tone as to not call attention to myself, "I need to know what happened. I can't remember for the life of me."

They locked eyes for a moment and something I couldn't decipher passed between them. Cam looked back to me, "I don't think we should tell you during school."

I shook my head, "It's eating me alive. Please, just tell me why I flipped out. I've never done anything like that before."

"And we wouldn't want it to happen again, now would we?" Mindy said with her eyebrows raised in a challenge.

"Well, of course not, bu-"

"Then that's that."

I huffed, "What if it happens during class? Then what, huh?"

"Zach is in your next class and I'm with you for history," Cam said simply. "If you start freaking out, we'll be there to help you."

I pursed my lips to the side, "I suppose you're right. I don't want to just wait around until it comes back to me, though. I need to know soon."

He sighed, "If you feel that strongly about it, I can come to your house tonight and tell you."

Mindy rubbed my shoulder, "I'll come too. You're going to need all the support you can get."

"Thanks, guys," I said, giving them each a quick smile. "I'm just so scared of what it could be. I mean to get that kind of reaction from me, it would have to be worse than David getting arrested, and what could be worse than that?"

They just exchanged a knowing look and decided not to comment, which just made me more nervous.

***

"Where's your next class?" Zach asked me as I was packing up my things after sixth hour.

I gestured to the wall this room shared with the one next to it, "Literally right there."

"Hmm, I don't think I've ever been in there. Who's the teacher?"

I slung my bag over my shoulder and started walking out the door. "Mr. Mitchell," I replied. "He's pretty cool."

He froze when I was about to open the door to head inside. "Is that the fanboy?"

I chuckled, "Oh, you heard about that? Yeah, this is him." I started to turn the handle but he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I glanced over into his hazel eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Uh... I..." He wasn't very good at thinking on his feet apparently. After a minute, he thrust his thumb behind him, "Mindy wanted to talk to you. Yeah, that's it. Sorry, I uh, couldn't remember for a sec."