How Could This Be Real?

77. Bye Sissy

There was suddenly a loud bang behind me, but I didn't even flinch. I was completely trapped inside my mind, blocking out what was going on around me. Something grabbed me and picked me up, quickly setting me back down on my knees. I was immediately engulfed and rocked back and forth, my hair being stroked as I continued to sob on something hard, but I didn't know what. I didn't really care, as long as whatever it was didn't hurt me.

I started hearing voices, but they sounded miles away. They could've been in my head for all I knew, but I was pretty sure they were real.

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch."

"No no no, he didn't do anything to her. He just got in trouble and she's blaming herself."

"What kind of trouble?"

"She'll tell you, just please, help her. I didn't know what to do, she wasn't listening to me."

"Ssshhh, Angel, calm down, it's okay. You're alright, I've got you."

I didn't want to listen to whoever this was. I wanted to stay all alone in my head, where I could think about what I'd done. But their voice was getting stronger as I finally started to pull out of my breakdown. A steady flow of calming words was being slowly processed in my brain and it was making me feel a bit better. Eventually I became aware of more things. I was being held by someone and the hard thing I was crying on was their shoulder. I could tell they were a boy. A boy that I knew well. It took me another minute, but I finally realized that it was Cam.

With some difficulty, I lifted my head to look at him, tears still streaming down my cheeks. His face instantly fell as he studied my hopeless expression. "Oh, Angel... You're literally breaking my heart right now." He tried to dry my face with his hands, but it was useless. "This is the worst thing I've ever had to witness," he whispered.

"M-mm-yy, f-f-fau-ll-t-t," I stammered.

He pulled me into a tight hug and rubbed his smooth cheek against mine, "Shh, don't speak. Not yet." He kept stroking my hair and gently rocking me, trying to get me to stop crying and it was slowly doing its job.

Eventually, the constant flow turned into the occasional trickle and my breathing became even again, so I pulled away slightly and looked around. He'd pulled me onto the floor and I was sitting on his lap. Well, to be specific, he was kneeling and my legs were straddling him. It was quite an intimate position, but I didn't care and I knew he didn't either. We didn't have any sexual attraction to one another, so it didn't feel awkward at all.

I glanced up at my desk where my laptop was sitting open with Ash's feed still on the screen. He'd turned his chair away and buried his face in his hands, probably feeling guilty about what just happened.

I quickly swiped at my eyes and nose and said, "I'm so sorry Ash, you weren't meant to see that." There was no response. I frowned and opened my mouth to try again, but Cam shook his head.

"I think he muted you. Probably couldn't stand to hear you crying anymore." He cupped my cheek in his palm and turned my face to him. His navy blue eyes were full of concern and I could only imagine what scenarios must be going through his head of what could've happened to make me completely lose it like that. "Can you tell me what's going on or do you need a minute?"

I shrugged and mumbled, "I don't know. It seems like I don't have any control over my thoughts anymore."

He rubbed my shoulder, "It's okay, take your time." He took my hand and gestured his head toward the bed, "We should at least get off the floor, though." I nodded and forced some strength into my legs so I could stand. I grabbed my laptop and scooted onto the mattress next to Cam. He draped an arm around me and watched as I sent a message to Ash to get his attention.