A Collection of Duncney

Fighting A Losing Battle

Duncan sat alone in the cargo hold of the plane, he was focusing intently on his pocket knife in his hand. Flicking the blade up and down, over and over again. As his mind traveled far away, as he began thinking about what he was going to do later tonight. He felt his stomach churn with the thoughts, but he pushed the sick feeling aside and told himself it's what he had to do. Because it would be better for both of them. 

Duncan cursed and closed his eyes tightly. He didn't think he'd have to do it so soon. But he also thought he had planned it out perfectly. He hadn't expected them to travel to London so soon, he had hoped for a few more weeks until they came. So he could think long and hard about what was about to go down. Maybe talk himself out of it. But he knew there was no changing his mind. He was going to do it, and he was going to do it tonight. 

Duncan was going to cheat on Courtney. With Gwen. 

The thought alone made his eyes quiver and the skin on his body crawl. He didn't want to do this. God. He didn't  want to do this. 

But he had to. He simply had to. Duncan knew she had to let him go. And this was the only way he could think of, that would be a sure way to end things. Cut the ties between them for good. End all that there was to them. 

God. Duncan hadn't expected their relationship to get as serious as it had. He thought they'd hook up maybe once or twice on Total Drama Island, maybe go on a few dates. But that's all. He hardly expected himself to fall in love with her like the way he had. And he didn't expect her to fall in love with him back, like she had. They were just so.. Different. Everything about their relationship was wrong. He was a hard core bad boy, and she was a perfect prep. Those types of groups typically didn't get involved. 

Only he had got involved with her. He got involved with her so deeply that he could barely remember a normal life without her. And that terrified him. Duncan had never felt the emotions he felt with Courtney. That ache in his heart to hear her voice. Always have her around, have her hand to constantly hold in his own. Call her his forever. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, have a happy ending with a big house and a white picket fence. 

But he knew he could never have that with her. 

Duncan knew he was holding her back. He knew of her plans to head to Oxford to follow her dream of becoming a huge lawyer. And he feared that with him in the way, Courtney would give up her dreams. He knew  she would. And he couldn't live with himself if he let her do that. He couldn't watch her throw away an amazing future she was bound to have, by being with him. He knew he wasn't about to change his ways, even if he never committed a crime again, he knew his record would still follow him. Whenever he'd try to get a job, they'd take one look at his file and pass him on. Again, and again. 

What a 'great' future. Courtney constantly trying to keep their lives together, by having 3 jobs to pay the bills while he was pushed around from job to job. Yeah. Real fantastic. 

When he knew damn well that her future was brighter than any one that he ever could have imagined for himself. And he knew he couldn't be a part of it. No matter how much he wanted to be. Needed to be. Ached to be. He knew he had to let her go once and for all, it was what was best for her. 

"Duncan?" Courtney's soft voice came from the other side of the cargo hold. She was looking at him, as she walked over, a confused look on her face "What are you doing in here all alone?" 

Duncan looked up at her, and swallowed hard. He examined her face, her body. The way she moved, the way she breathed. He was capturing her. Taking a mental picture. Because he knew that after tonight, he'd never get to see her like this again. After tonight those loved filled eyes were going to be filled with hate. And heartbreak.