A Collection of Duncney

Someone You Loved

(A/N- This story contains mentions of suicide and took over a year to write)

He had been wearing a red shirt

Courtney flinched as she heard the harsh noise of the tape dispenser ripping across the box. Her eyes glued to the caramel colored piece of cardboard in front of her that held so many memories in it. So many stories. So many feelings. 

Mrs. Evans blew out a long breath as she stood up, the tape dispenser dangling in her hand. Her teal eyes tired and distant. 

"That's the last one," she said. Her voice catching in the back of her throat. Courtney stood in the middle of the room and slowly looked around the bedroom she was standing in. All packed away in boxes and bags. 19 years of a life had been packed away, folded into clothes and old pictures of old memories that would never get the chance to be made new again. 

"I.. left a few untapped and open for you to go through one last time before we move in the morning. I know you've gone through them a million times, but I always find myself finding something surprising each time I go through them. Something I never knew had been there the first time. Something hidden," Mrs. Evans said, gently rubbing Courtney's shoulder. Courtney blinked away her unrelenting sadness and nodded at the older woman, who, in that moment, looked much older than she had in years. 

Tragedy does that to a person. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans," Courtney said, barely a whisper. The woman nodded and quickly left, before she let the 19 year old see anymore of her tears. Although she knew Courtney was pretty used to seeing her cry by now. 

Courtney slowly wrapped her hands around her little frame tightly. As if she were holding herself together. If she let go, she would crumble all over again. And she knew she couldn't do that to herself again. Not this time. 

"I'm going under and this time I feel there's no one to save me,

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy,"

Time. It seemed like the easiest subject in the world. You were taught how to read a clock when you were In 1st grade. To know what each tick of the day meant. To know that time never stopped, even when it felt like your entire world did. It's always moving. Whether you want it to or not. 

What they didn't teach you was how fast time seemed to go by in moments like this. How every second of each day you wished you could go back. Just to have a little more time. How time seemed to move so slowly, but fast at the same time. How one moment your life was as is, and the next second it was completely different. They didn't warn you that eventually you'll look back at all the time gone by and wonder where it went. How could you wish for something to go by faster, but want it to stop all at the same time? 

Courtney sniffled as she slowly walked over to one of the last opened boxes in the room. Reaching in, she pulled out a red shirt. The one he had been wearing the night it happened. She sniffled again and slowly brought it close, hugging the soft material against her skin. Wishing it were his arms around her instead of this empty piece of fabric. 

She could so clearly remember the events of that night. Every second. She was thankful for that, and angry at the same time. They had gotten into another one of their typical fights. She would yell, he would raise his voice, she would tell him to get out, he would leave. But he would always come back.

She stayed up waiting for hours for him to come back that night. 

But he never would. 

"I need somebody to heal,