To Love Again

Introduction

This is a totally different story from the Mendoza/Faulkerson series. This story is for Claire @c_ampil because this is her plot. She asked if I could write the story behind her idea and I gladly accepted. I hope it will be up to your liking.

Again, as with my previous stories, this will contain mature contents. So please be mindful of that as we journey with the characters of this book.

Thank you!

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The lights on the inside of the plane was turned down for the passengers to catch some sleep. It will be about 10 more hours before they will reach their destination. There were scattered overhead lights turned on for those that are not able to sleep. Voices were hushed down to a minimum. The flight attendants were getting ready to settle in for the long ride.

Nicomaine Mendoza sat on her assigned seat inside the plane's cabin, curled upon herself, making her look like a child instead of a 29 year old grown woman. In her hand was a crumpled piece of paper which the contents were now committed to her memory. Yet, each time she reads the damn thing, new tears are shed as if she hasn't cried over it a thousand times before. And with each new tear she sheds, the guilt inside of her multiplies.

She left Philippines 7 years ago and never went back, until now. She applied for a nursing position and was accepted in one of the busiest hospitals in the downtown Los Angeles area. She started on the surgical floor but soon moved to Children's Hospital as a pediatric nurse and there she stayed for 5 years until the other day. Because of this crumpled paper in her hands, she had to drop everything she's built and make the decision to go back home.

Maine uncrumpled the paper and started reading the letter again.

Dear Maine,

My dear sister, if you're reading this letter then that means I've finally succeeded in ending my own life. I've tried to hold on. I really did. I tried to live my life as normal as I could. You know me. I've always had a penchant for the melodramatics but I guess I've finally succumb to the dramatic part of it.

For a while, I've found a reason to live. In the form of a man named Richard Faulkerson Jr. He usually goes by the name Alden, don't ask me why. He just does. I met him one morning, at a certain coffee shop I frequently visit. We literally bumped into each other resulting with each of us both covered in each other's coffee. Talk about melodramatic. A movie like meeting. Haha. I can literally see you rolling your eyes at me right now.

Anyway, he was the perfect man for my imperfect world. We got to talking. Morning coffee turned into impromptu lunches and lunches turned into late night dinners, then late night dinners turned into early breakfasts, if you get what I mean. You probably don't being the late bloomer that you are. But I digress. It was a good six months until he started to become a little evasive, a lot more distant. I asked him if I had done something wrong and his answer was always no but I felt him slipping away. I tried to hold on but I wasn't strong enough I guess.

With Alden being gone from my life, I found no reason to live. I'm so sorry dear sister. I'm so very sorry for putting you and our parents through this but the darkness that I've fought for so long is now the only comfort I have. I tried to find meaning and happiness from other things but I just couldn't. Alden was my life and when he left, what was the point in living. I didn't want for you to find out this way. I wish I could've been brave enough to tell you face to face but I am a coward after all.

I'm sorry because I know you've already built a life there and because of me, you will have no choice but to come back home and probably stay for good. I didn't want to leave Nanay and Tatay hanging but I admit, I am selfish to think of myself first. But that's what I am. Selfish! Otherwise, why would I be ending my own life, right?

My only regret is not being able to see you once again. You are my little sister but you have always been the stronger between the two of us. You've had the courage to go to a different country and build your own life. I'm very proud of you.

Please don't blame yourself for what I've done. This is all on me. I chose this. Take care of Nanay and Tatay. They are both getting old and they need a lot of reminders. Tell them I love them both dearly.

Lastly, my little sister, take care of yourself. I know how strong you are and when you want something, you truly put your mind to achieve it. Be the best that you can be and don't ever look back. Live your life the way you want to. I love you but I'm sorry.

Love,

Ate

Maine crumpled the paper again and hastily wiped her tears. That's it Ate! Just like that! You never even gave me the chance to help you! I HATE YOU! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GIVE UP JUST LIKE THAT! You're right. You are a coward! I love you! Oh God, I will miss you!

And there, as the plane crossed over the pacific ocean, Maine cried. She poured out all of her grief that it shook her tiny frame into wracking sobs. So this is what it feels like to have a broken heart. To lose someone who's always been a part of your life. She felt the comforting hand of one of the passengers and she was vaguely aware of one of the flight attendants handing her a box of tissue. Until finally, her body succumb to the exhaustion and she fell into a restless sleep.