To Love Again

Final Goodbye

I tried to keep this chapter at bay because it is RJ's birthday after all, but sadly, the story needs to flow accordingly. I know, I know! Y'all can shoot me after. I give you my consent. But, please bear in mind that this is just part of the story. Anyway, enjoy...or not.

Strong and suggestive language used. Thank you!

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Richard stopped at the semi open bedroom door leading to Maine's room. He softly knocked, waited, and when he didn't get any answer, he gently pushed the door open and walked right in. At first he thought Maine had already left because it seemed like the room was empty. He turned around to walk out when he heard it. It was very soft, but he knows it when he hears someone crying. Especially Maine. It's funny but he seemed to feel it first before he saw it.

Richard walked further into the room towards Maine's bathroom and there he saw Maine standing by the bathroom counter, head bent with one hand gripping the counter top and the other covering her mouth. She was trying really hard to hold back her sobs or perhaps just trying to silence her cries albeit unsuccessfully. Her shoulders were slumped forward in defeat and shaking uncontrollably. His Maine in the throes of sorrow, standing alone by herself was unacceptable in his books. So he stepped towards her and from behind, engulfed her in his arms.

Richard felt Maine stiffen at first. She lifted her head up and their eyes met in the mirror. Richard didn't quite understand what he saw on Maine's eyes. It would be much, much later when he would recognize the look that Maine gave him. It was the look of pure terror, defeat, desperation and confusion all mixed together. But being the man that he was, at that moment, he credited her tears to sadness. It was Bella's funeral day after all.

Maine wasn't aware that Richard was in her room until she felt his warm arms wrap around her. To say she was caught off guard was an understatement. But he seemed to think that she was crying because it was the day of the funeral. So Maine left it at that. She turned around in his arms and hugged him tighter as she cried on his shoulders.

"Maine. It's okay. Sssshhhh. Love, I can't bear for you to cry like this. You're the one that said she's in a much better place now, remember?" Richard mumbled trying to soothe the crying woman in his arms. And to his surprise, Maine cried a lot louder and clung to him a lot tighter. "Hey, hey sssshhhh, love, it's okay. Oh god, you're breaking my heart with your sobs" he added with a hint of panic. What the fuck?!? I thought she was okay. She seemed to be okay last night. What the fuck do I do now?

Maine couldn't help the whimper that escaped her lips as she listened to Richard trying to soothe her for all the wrong reasons. When she confessed last night that she was pregnant, it came out as a whisper and so it didn't surprise her that her confession was met with silence after. She said it so softly that Richard probably didn't hear her because he was on the verge of a deep sleep. Truthfully, she could say it again, this time louder since they're both wide awake but her coward self wouldn't let her. Yap, the fierce and fearless Maine Mendoza taken down by her own cowardness. Sheesh! Just say it! Say it!

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It was a whole 10 minutes later till Richard felt Maine loosen her hold on him. The whole time they were standing there, he had been mumbling incoherent words, keeping his voice low, desperately trying to soothe Maine. Each time the words 'it's okay' escaped his lips, the louder her sobs came, so in the end, he just opted to mumble to which she didn't seem to mind after.

"I...l...I'm okay. I'm okay now, Alden. I'm good" Maine whispered as she pushed herself a little away from Richard.

Richard loosened his hold on Maine but he didn't let go altogether. Instead, he tilted Maine's chin up so he could look her in the eye once more.

"Today saddens me too love. So much. But, I'm thankful that Bella is no longer suffering. Although I will miss that little dynamo. So much. So very much" Richard stated sadly.

And that was why Maine chose to keep her little confession to herself that day. There she was thinking about herself and her situation and yet there also was Richard, still mourning the loss of his daughter. Who's the selfish one now, Maine? Ha?

"I'm sorry for breaking down Alden. It's just...ahem...anyway, let's get going shall we?" Maine replied trying hard to cover up the real reason for her breakdown. She opted in making Richard believe that it was really because of Bella's funeral, which truthfully, was only a part of it. Well, it's probably all the emotions combined and sprinkled with pregnancy hormones.

"Are you sure?" Richard asked doubtfully.

"Yes. I'm good now. Just emotional. But I'm good. Just give me a few minutes to freshen up and I'll be right out" Maine responded as she turned her back to bend over the sink and splash cold water on her face.

"Okay. I'll wait for you outside" Richard finally stated. He waited till Maine acknowledged his statement with a nod before he slowly walked out into the living room.

Maine joined Richard not too long after and hand in hand they headed to the church where Bella's funeral mass was going to be held.

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The funeral mass turned out to be somber as somber can be. Everyone was either very quiet or talking in whispers. It would've been acceptable for Richard if it was anybody else's funeral, but come on, this is his Bella! His little angel who brought life and love back into their lives. The one who made them a family again. The one who brought Maine to him. The one who would always occupy a part of his heart.

So when it was time for Richard to give his eulogy, he decided to tear up the prepared piece of paper in his hand and speak candidly instead.

"Thank you everyone for coming here today. I had planned on just reading something I prepared yesterday but then the realization came to me that Bella's life, short as it may be, was never something I prepared for. It didn't matter how prepared I thought I was, she would always throw me in the loop. My daughter was only given a short time in this life, but boy, she made sure that the short time was worth her while and it definitely was. To our family, to her aunt, her grandparents and most of all to Maine and myself. She left a trail sprinkled with love and life even if she was struggling with her own. She brought joy, laughter and love in our family that would definitely stay. She was and always will be my princess, my angel. She taught me to love again. The only regret I have is that I left her in the hospital for too long before I decided to take her home. Because once I did, she made my life and the ones around me a lot more interesting and a lot more meaningful. Yes, that's my daughter. That's my Bella. And so today, I've decided that instead of crying for Bella, I ask that we celebrate her life instead by continuing to spread love. Let's each send a thank you prayer for our loved ones and make sure you tell them you love them." Richard looked at his father and sister, and with a twinkle in his eye, he stated, "Dad, Christine, I love you both." Then his eyes looked for Maine, who a minute ago was just sitting beside her parents, but now is nowhere to be found. His eyes scanned the whole interior of the church, looking for her presence but nothing. NOTHING! Suddenly, he felt this unexpected panic bloom inside of him. He looked to Maine's parents with the unspoken question in his eyes and both Teodoro and Maryann shrugged their shoulders with a shake of their heads in response. Shit! Shit! Shit! Why am I panicking!

Richard was brought to the present by his father clearing his throat. Oh right! I'm supposed to be thanking this people. Richard had to visibly take a few calming breaths before he could continue. "Thank you once again for coming" he hastily stated as he scrambled to get off the front of the church.

"Where's Maine?" Richard whispered to Maryann as soon as he reached her side.

"She said she needed some air. She probably just stepped out" Maryann replied.

And with that Richard half walked/half ran to the outside of the church. Once there, he scanned the surrounding areas but still could not find Maine. He pulled out his phone and dialled her number but it went straight to voicemail. What the fuck?!? Then it hit him! The look that he saw on Maine's eyes this morning. The look that he brushed aside and just credited it to sadness over Bella. But now, looking back, he suddenly recognized that look.

It was the look of pure terror. And the look of goodbye!