The Future Of Us

Somethings wrong (2)

I sit on the couch crying and start to remember an interview. It was an interview that I did about a year after we got married. I was asked of few questions about our future.

(I'm just going to put the interviewer in italics.)

"Now that you're married, what is next for you and Brad?"

"Right now, I think we're going to be doing a lot of traveling. We wanna get that done before we do much else."

"So, do you see any kids in your future?"

"Yeah. I think we'll definitely have kids."

"Brad has said that he wants a big family, how do you feel about that?"

"I think we've come to the agreement of 2 or 3, but there are still tomes he says more."

"Do you know when you want to start? Like after FRIENDS or should we expect to see a pregnancy written in for Rachel?"

"We haven't said we want them right now, but it wouldn't be a big surprise for them to have to write a pregnancy in."

"So you want them within the next few years?"

"Definitely. If not before, right after Friends."

"Do you know what you want first?"

"Really, it doesn't matter, but I think we both really want a girl first."

I remember she asked me a few more questions about kids then finally got off the subject.

"What's your favorite memory of Brad since you guy's got married?"

"There's so many, but I think my favorite is when he surprised me on my birthday by coming on set and staying in my dressing room when he was supposed to be filming. He made the long day so much better, just because he was there."

"You guy's are such a cute couple. How do you make it work with filming and everything?"

"We both understand that because of the work we chose we won't always be together, and we trust each other."

Remembering that part hurts. How could he think that I would cheat? I would never do anything to hurt our relationship, especially now that it's not just us. I get something to eat and sit back down remembering more of the interview.

"You've said before that with Brad you knew from the beginning that he was the one. What made you realize that?"

"Just how sweet and kind he was. He was also very down to earth and didn't act like he was better than others. To this day he is still like that."

"Where do you see your life 10 years from now? Is Brad in your future?"

"Of course he is. I don't really know what the future will be like for us. I guess in 10 years we'll probably be parents trying to raise our kids the best we can."

"Are you happy with the way your life is right now?"

"Extremely happy. It really is amazing. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, and I can't wait to see what will happen with us."

Thinking of all of this just makes me wonder how Brad feels. Maybe I have been around Bob too much. I should've told Brad about the scrip right away so we could've talked about it more. I know that he's not happy I decided to do it, and in a way, I feel like I made the wrong decision. It's a great movie, but I could be spending more time with Brad and Catie. All three of us could go to the park, watch movies or just be here together, but because I signed on for this movie I'm missing that stuff. I don't wanna talk to Brad yet because I don't know how to feel, but I know I have to at some point.

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I've been in our room for almost 2 hours now. I'm not sure why I freaked out on Jen. I know she would never cheat but she's just been acting weird and different lately. I heard her crying for a while after I came up. It breaks my heart knowing that I'm the reason for it. She must've been thinking about something, probably the interview, she always thinks about it when she's mad. I heard her get up and get something then go back to the living room and all I wanna do is go next to her and wrap my arms around her. I wanna apologize and tell her how much she means to me, and that I really was wrong for thinking that. I know better though. I know she needs space and that if I wait an hour or 2 we'll both be more calm and ready to talk. I decide to look up the interview and watch it. All I can think about is how bad I feel.

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After just sitting around for another hour and watching TV I decide to go to our room and talk to Brad.