Changing | SM

Part 25: the station

Adriana:

The station is a getaway.
It symbolizes that there's always somewhere you can go that'll take you further away from where you are now.
To take you further away from the bad things you live and see every day.

Even though I don't get on the train and physically get away, it gives me hope, give me the calming feeling that whenever things might just get a bit too much, I can, if I will and want to, I can get away.

I looked over to Shawn, sitting next to me.
His eyes are wondering around the room, seeing things that he never saw before. I sat up, crossing my legs on the couch as I turned to look at him. "What?" He asked, my smile growing. "Who are you Mendes?" With that one single question I could see so many questions popping up in his mind.
His eyes filling with confusion, when yet at the same time he has this uncomfortable feeling with himself.

He doesn't even know who he is.

"You don't know. Do you?" I whispered. "With all the time you spend, being and pretending to be someone else, someone you're not. You tend to lose yourself and forget who you are." "Did that happen to you?" He looked over to me, nodding.

"Why would you pretend to be someone you're not?" My eyebrows furrowed together as I saw the broken soul behind his eyes. "I think we both said enough for today." He stood up, holding out his hand to help me up. "Okay, yeah. Sure. Uhm... lets get our math on?" I said more like a question, and he laughed. The surreal laugh you never hear. "Let's get our math on." He chuckled, taking my hand in his as we yet again, ran out in the rain after locking up.

"Remember you can't tell anyone okay!" I yelled above the pouring rain. "Yeah. Got it!" I stuffed the rock in my back pocket of my jean, making sure not to lose it on the way. "No!" I yelled, losing the picture instead. "Shit! Where is it!" I immediately let go of Shawn's hand, so he can't pull me along. "What?" "The picture! I lost the picture!" I immediately fell to ground, searching through all the puddles, trying to find it.
I saw Shawn also searching around.

As I searched through the water, looking up and down the street to see where it might of flowed, I saw Shawn almost diving towards a storm water drain. "I got it!" He ran back to me, grabbing my hand as we then rushed to get out of the rain, standing on the porch. "Thank you so much." Without thought I pulled him into a hug after he handed the picture to me.

"No problem..." He trailed off, looking at my face. He's really someone else when I get him alone, I never thought he'd actually care to help me find my picture.
He's different.

The raindrops are still consistent on my cheeks, but some of them might just be tears.

"Rain is a manipulative subject." He whispered, wiping away the drops on my fcae. Almost to clear out the surface so he can see if real tears are actually falling.
And yet, one did.

His eyes grew big, he doesn't know how to handle a situation of someone emotionally not being okay. "Let's go." I said, just wanting to get him out of the situation of discomfort. We were back at my house, but Keegan's car was gone.
He's not home.

We got inside and I pulled Shawn with me to the upstairs bathroom so we can dry off. "You can take a shower if you want to. I'll get you some dry clothes." I walked out over to my room, opening the one drawer I swore to myself I'll never open again.
His clothes.

I sighed, seeing the few pieces of clothes I was about to hand him. The last few pieces of memories. "Here you-go." I gulped, seeing him standing before me, with only the towel loosely wrapped around his waist. "Thanks." He said, taking the clothes from my hands before closing the door.
I knew he was muscular but not that much. Shawn is a bad guy, but that's only the side he shows other.

The part when he's around me, opening up and letting me in, that's a way different Shawn.
I don't know what to do actually, should I let him stay or tell him to leave?