Changing | SM

Part 110: yes

Shawn:

God I'll be lying if I say I'm not scared.
What if she says no?
What if she's not ready?
Oh my. What has her father got me in to!

I'm in a pickle. I'm between sure of it and just letting it go. But then again, there's nothing I would want more than to be with her and share my life, the rest of my life, with her. I want to marry her, whether it's now, tomorrow or in a few years.
She's the one. And I know that by heart.

Many people won't understand that but I guess you just have that feeling once in you life when you meet someone. You just know. And it's hard to explain how you know it... you just do.

"Where are we?"
"Just trust me."
"Oh, I trust you." She took my hand in hers and intertwined our fingers as we made our way down the grail path to the nearby waterfall. It's small, but special and spectacular.
I feel like deeply shitting my pants right now because of all the nerves eating a hole inside of me.
Breaking parts of my away as I still doubt asking her this question or just going through with it all.

Maybe I'm just scared to fall again, feel failure or rejection. But how can I say that I've failed when I have her in my life, a beautiful daughter on the way and just a few minutes away of finding out if I can spend the rest of my life with her.

"Okay open your eyes." I said as I let go of her hand and stood before her. "Tada!" I smiled as I saw her laughing at the attempt of a picnic I set up with the table set up and a few candles burning.
"They keep blowing out by the darn wind but that's okay." I laughed as I saw the candles blowing out again after I just light them. She walked closer to me and gave me a kiss on the lips before we sat down.

-

"So what's the actual occasion Mendes?" She asked, looking me directly in the eyes as she traced the ring of the wineglass with the tip of her index finger.
I took a deep breath before smiling back up to her. "Adriana," I started, taking her hand in mine and softly caressing the top with the pad of my thumb. She smiled at me as a small chuckle left her lips.

"I am not sure what love is, but I think it's hearing you say, "you're an asshole," while your smile just betrays the words that just left your mouth. It's getting a FaceTime call at eight in the morning when you're staying at your fathers just to show me your outfit of the day," I saw her cheeks blossoming red as she covered up her face, making me laugh.

But I continued, "I think love is blurting out exactly how I feel about you when you ask me why I'm looking at you "like that." It's unplanned and sloppy, the exact opposite of how I want it to happen; but the smile on your face tells me that it's perfect just as it is, on its own, in its own way. Love is being afraid to show you certain parts of me but telling you and showing you anyways. It's making breakfast with you in the morning and dancing with you in thr living room despite my two left feet, and to passionately sing the words wrong to every song you love just to hear you laugh."

She looked at me with red eyes as tears pooled up.
"Like I said, I'm not sure what love is, but it might just be magic. And when I'm with you, I know exactly how it feels." I kissed her hand before pulling the ring box out of my pocket, flipping it open and placing it down in front of her.

She clamped her hands over her mouth and looked at me with big eyes and she cried, laughing and smiling throughout the entire silence.
"It at all doesn't have to happen within the next few weeks or months or years, but as long as I know you'll say yes to marrying me I know someday I will, marry you, the love of my life." I took the ring out and slipped it on to her finger.

"Will you marry me, Adriana?"
"Yes." She laughed, leaning over the table and crashing her lips to mine.
"I love you so much Mendes."