Changing | SM

Part 47: she came to me

Shawn:

I know it's hard of me to do that, to just leave her there, but I had to. I had no other choice.
I don't want to be more hated by the family than what I already am.

She means so much to me, and I can't bare the thought of losing her.
Just because her dad said I should stay away from her doesn't mean I'm doing that.
I won't just let her go, not without a fight.

She made me stand tall for who I am, and since we connected on a deep level, I don't feel so alone anymore.
I know I have her with me and she'll do anything to make me smile. I saw that with her. And she does, she really does make me smile, make my heart skip a beat and she makes me feel alive.

"Common common common. Pick up the phone Adriana." But it just went to voicemail again. She's upset with me. But I tried one more time. It ringed and ringed.
"What?" She sniffed as she answered the phone. "Please don't be upset with me Adriana. I had no other choice, do you really want your dad to hunt me down?" "No but-" she shighed, cutting herself off.
"But what?"
"Nothing. It's stupid, but I just want to be with you instead of here. Every time you leave I feel like you take my soul and heart with you. Nothing makes me smile after you leave, I'm not happy and I sure as hell despise every second that I'm alone."

"You're not alone Adriana. I'm with you, always. Maybe not physically but I'm here. And you know that." She went silent, only her breathing and silent sniffs were audible over the phone. "I know." She whispered. "But I still feel like neither one of us know where we stand with each other." I closed my eyes as I ran my fingers through my hair, deeply wishing it was hers.

"I know. But that's just because we both experienced the heartbreak. Maybe we're just afraid?"
"I know what I want. But do you?" She practically forced me to think about this now. "In your hesitation I found my answer." She whispered again. "No Adriana I kno-" "Goodbye Shawn. I'll see you around." She hung up.

Driving her home was probably the worst mistake I could've made today. If I took her with me to the cabin instead of taking her home none of this would've happened.

But I guess we regret things after we do them, and when we don't. "Fuck!" I yelled, throwing my phone across the room and falling down on my back on the mattress.

I brushed my fingers through my hair, rubbing my eyes and blinking repeatedly as I felt tears burning in the back of my eyes. I was so afraid of falling for her, and yet I did. At least I had the courage to fully lose myself in something I wanted so badly.
Something I truly wanted.
Her.

After a while of lying down, drowning in my sorrows and thoughts about losing Adriana, my phone went off again.
A message.

I got up, surprised that it still works after the through.
Cody.

"Dude, I got a new girl for you that we can bet on. This one will fall in the trap in less than a week!" He never stops.
He never gives up on this hopeless and pointless missions. He uses girls like they're hoe's and makes money off it.

I didn't even reply to his message, I just deleted it and lied back down on my bed, with Adriana still on my mind.
"I'm sorry." I texted her back, seeing that she read it but she didn't reply... or not immediately.
"It's okay. Just, try and find out what you want before breaking my heart."

Is that really what I'm doing? Am I breaking her heart? That's the last thing I ever wanted to do, and this was not my intentions at all.

-

I was asleep, when I felt hands on my back. Drawing circles and just caressing my skin.

"Shawn." The whisper woke me up, making me open my eyes. It was just a silhouette of an angel.

My angel.

She straddled me and I placed my hands on her hips. I now know this is Adriana. "Is this a dream?"
"No." She chuckled before pressing her lips to mine.
No dream.
Reality.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in my ear. "I know what I want Adriana. Even though I seem so unsure about it, I know it deep within me." "And what do you want?" Her fingers combed through my quiff and with the faded light of the moon shining through the window again, I could see the shadows on her face forming as she smiled. I grabbed a hold of her hands and flipped us over. Intertwining our fingers as I basically pinned her to the bed.

"I..." I paused for a moment, checking myself before saying. I know it. And that's all I want. And I don't want to break her heart, so I need to confess it. "I want you." I whispered.

"Probably?"
"No. Definitely."

The smile on her face growing wider as I leaned down to her, pressing my lips go hers and we moved in sync. It wasn't long before she pulled my shirt over my head.
I should've known, she likes me without one.

"You're unbelievable." I laughed, pecking her lips again. "Can't hate me for it. I just like to admire art." I shook my head with my smile still consistent before we started making out again...