Changing | SM

Part 56: my reassurance

Shawn:

I'll never be good enough in my dads eyes again. I'll still, and always just will be the disappointment he has for a son. I walked off after my dad talked bad about Adriana, I know she can take it but he never believes me and I hate to be in his presence.

"Adriana." I called for her, hearing her excusing herself from the conversation that was between her and my mother before she walked over to me.
"Are you okay?" I just pulled her in to a hug, nestling my face in her neck as I sighed.
"Don't let him get to you okay. You've changed he just needs to learn to see that." She whispered, brushing her fingers through my hair at the nape of me neck before she pecked my cheek.

"I love you baby. Please don't be sad." I smiled at the name she gave to me, and I looked up at her.
"So babe and baby is a thing now huh?"
"I guess it is." She chuckled before pressing her lips to mine. "Thank you." I pecked her cheek one last time before she intertwined her fingers with mine, leading me out back to my parents.

My dad still had that same disgusted look on his face, but I looked at Adriana and she motioned for me to just breathe, so I did, and I let it slide.
He can't bring me down anymore because I'm not the same person he knew. I sat down next to her, still holding on to her hand. I find closure and calming in holding her hand or having her by my side.
I feel better when I know she's close by.
I can't disappoint then.

"So, how did you guys meet, like what's going on between you two?" Aaliyah laughed. I smiled at her as I sat up again.
I'm scared to tell them that I almost failed math, but if they didn't care back then, why would they care now.

"Okay, well. I was failing math and my teacher said that Adriana should help me to get my grades up otherwise I won't graduate. I went over to hers for weeks time and my grades skyrocketed. So much that the principal even called me in to ask if I cheated or what's going on." They laughed, and I glanced over to Adriana.

"Basically we founded closure in one another because of similar events and struggles. But I guess through that we've fallen in love. I don't really know, it was all so of a sudden." She laughed, telling the truth and I saw in my dad's eyes that he was sad about when she mentioned 'events and struggles'.
Oh if he only knew.
"She changed me, for the better. I never felt like I could do the things I'm doing now, let alone be the person I am now." I said, looking directly in to my dads eyes before I glanced back over to Adriana.

"I command to see a kiss." Aaliyah said, crossing her arms over her chest to make it look intimidating.
Faster than ever, Adriana leaned over to me and we kissed. Nothing too big, but still special. The quietness died down a little and my dad started joining in on some conversations.
It was good to see him smiling again, and at some times he even smiled over to me. I don't know how long this cover will last, but I hope it lasts at least the night.

"I'll go out to get some dinner, will you sta-" "No, please can I come with you?" She begged, not wanting to be alone with my parents. I understand though, it can be intimidating and she might be dodging all the questions they want to ask, but that's okay. "Okay." I chuckled, taking her hand in mine.
"Any request for dinner?" I asked nervously, already seeing my dads eyebrows furrowing together. "You don't have food in your house?" "Have you seen any cubborts?" Should've hold my mouth, now he looks mad about me speaking up.
"I'll just get a pizza." I sighed, pulling Adriana with me out the door. This was supposed to be fun, but the day turned out horrible.

"Hey, are you okay?"
She asked, but I didn't even look over to her. I just drove ahead. I was tense and tried so hard to keep myself together, just to be cool ans not fall to pieces in front of her.
"Shawn. It's okay to show how you feel." Her soft voice and soft touches on my arm made me exhale a deep breath as tears immediately filled up my eyes, blurring my vision.

"I just don't get it. All he ever sees in me is the bad. How did- how did you get it right to see the good in me? Why can't anyone else see that?" I punched the steering wheel, anger and sadness pouring out of me.
"Shawn, pull over." She said, gripping on to my arm. I stopped the car and she climbed over the armrest between us and straddled me.

It's cute how she feels she has to be this close to my otherwise I won't listen. I'll never complain about having her this close to me.

I didn't make eye contact with her till she took my face in her hands and wiped away the few falling tears. "I saw the good in you because I understand you, and you showed me who you truly are. And other people can see that, I mean look at Brian. He's proud of you for changing the way you did."
"But that's all because of you." She kissed my cheek.

"But why can't my dad see that? Even Aaliyah could." "You just have to show him, prove to him that you're not the son he thinks you are." I closed my eyes, sighing softly before looking at her again.
"Thank you." I mouthed to her, pressing my lips to hers before she took her seat again.

We drove to the pizza place and got some food before driving back.

I can do this, I can prove him wrong.