Changing | SM

Part 83: she's distant

Shawn:

I don't entirely feel like leaving tonight, just because I'm scared I'm not yet okay.
If I can stay one more night at the hospital where I can get care and taken care of, I know things will be okay.
Actually I just want to stay one more night with Adriana instead of only getting to see her throughout the day.

"Shawn." I heard the sweet whisper of my angel. I was still cuddling up to her as I slept. My eyes slowly fluttered open and I smiled as my eyes met hers.
"Baby you can go home now."
"No." I stated blankly as I just held her tighter, nestling in to her embrace even more.
"Shawn? You can go home. Why would you say no to that? You've been here for over five days!"
"Because I don't want to go anywhere where you can't be with me 24/7." She starting laughing after I spoke, making me look up at her in confusion.

"I don't get why you're laughing."
"Because I'm not going anywhere. Your mum told me, she practically said that I should stay with you." My smile grew from ear to ear as I looked at her, seeing the smile on her face. Wow.
Absolutely and completely indescribable. The love I have for her and the way she makes me feel... God. I never thought I'd ever fall this deeply in love ever again.

I can see her doubting things or second thinking about some things in her mind, but I know that if it's really important she'll tell me.
I hope?
I let it slide though, seeing her smile and making the best of it. She pecked my lips, numerous times before I rolled off her. She went out to get help from a nurse to get me in a wheelchair.

I don't know why I need it but I guess it's because of the medication that can make me a bit drowsy.
"Please don't fall because I don't know how the heck I'll get you up if you do!" Adriana said, gripping on to my hand as my dad helped getting me in the chair. I just smiled at her.

"What?"
"You're so beautiful." I whispered, but her smile wasn't entirely as big as it always was when I told that to her.
She pushed me out to the car once I was settled down, and in silence we drove back home. Not our home, but my parents. I saw her just glancing out of the window, but never did she let go of my hand.
I need to talk to her, ask her what the hell is going on because I feel like she's pushing me away. And that's the last thing I want. Especially from her.

"Mum, can Adriana sleep with me?" She smiled over to me. "I guess that'll be okay." I smiled as I looked up at Adriana. She wasn't present. "Babe? You okay?" I took her hand in mine, seeing how she's snapped out of her thoughts and far away world as I pulled her back to mine.
"Adriana?"
"Hmm? What?" I looked at her with my eyebrows furrowed together. "Are you okay with sleeping with me?"
"Oh yes, sure. I'll have it no other way." She smiled, making it look like nothing is wrong.

She's good at pretending sometimes.
I just know when that is, and I need to dig a little bit deeper to see what exactly it is that she's hiding.

She walked upstairs with my bag, disappearing. "What's up with her?" I shook my head as my dad helped me upstairs. "I don't know." I sighed. "I got it from here dad, I'm okay." He let me walk on my own to my room, and I saw her sat on the bed, crying.