Changing | SM

Part 34: lonely

Adriana:

I love how he opens up to me.

It shows that he trust me now, and I trust him too, it's just, I don't know.
I don't feel entirely ready to tell him about me yet.
I can still show him, but his thoughts and questions are probably running wild in his mind with every passing day.

Sometimes you just need and adventure to cleanse the bitter taste of life from your soul. And having these few weeks with Shawn, I'd like to say that's an adventure.
Even though it brings both sour and bitter back to my life instead of cleansing.

I'm gaining more than I'm losing.
I'm meeting a soul that was long ago present, I'm learning to find someone by just sticking around.
It's funny how the presence of another can make you feel better, even though you just sit in silence, not saying a word.

I think if he was a book, he'd be one of those you throw across the room but then hours later go back to it and flip through his pages to find that you really like it.
The way he unfolds and shows you each side on a new page.

Afterwards, Shawn took me back home.
He gathered his things and just placed it down in a pile next to my desk, giving me the sign that he'll come back soon or tomorrow.
"Where are you heading home to tonight?" I asked as I walked with him back out to his car again. "Probably going to Brian's." He said, leaning against his car with his hand sin his pockets.

"Why did you stop smoking?" I crossed my arms over my chest, looking at him and waiting in anticipation for a answer. "Well..." he stood back on his own feet before looking me in the eyes, a small smirk on his lips as he leaned closer.
"I don't want to die on you, now would I?" He whispered.

His hot breath hitting my skin in my neck and sent goosebumps all the way down my spine. "Goodbye Adriana." He smiled as he got in his car, putting his sunglasses on before driving off.
"You're killing me." I said to myself as he drove off.

I ran my hands through my hair as I bit down on my lips. "I know that look. You've fallen in love with the bad boy. Wonder what dad will say about this one."
"Go fuck a duck Keegan." I spat as I walked past him.

I hate it how nosy he is getting all up in business that has nothing to do with him and basically tell everyone, especially my dad.
Just to get me in trouble on something I didn't do or he just misunderstands.

Not that I'm denying against it, I can't say that I don't feel love and affection towards Shawn.

But even though our souls and hearts match, from the outside and the different kind of reputations, people might see us as outcasts who found each other a long the way and decided to drown in life together.
Not that it's entirely far from the truth...

-

That night I was safely in bed. My safe haven. But it was brutally interrupted when my dad stormed in. "Adriana!" He yelled, turning the lights on.
I sat up in my bed, seeing the angry look on my dad's face and the satisfied look on Keegan's.

"You need to tell me what's going on under this roof when I'm not here! Why do I have to hear from Keegan that you've been sneaking off with some guy?" He yelled.
My jaw immediately dropped to the groud as to how childish my brother is. "Are you serious? Dad how can you even listen to Keegan?" "Answer the damn question Adriana!" I sighed, feeling anger boiling inside of me. My jaw clenching as I tried to contain myself.

"I'm not sneaking of with a boy, and he's not just some guy. I'm giving him extra class for his math and we just happened to be good friends, so during break time we'd go to the mall or somewhere to just take a break." I said and you could clearly hear the annoyance in my voice.

My dad turned around and looked at Keegan. He believes my story, but wondering why Keegan left out so many details.
"Go to bed, both of you." He turned the lights out again and slammed my door shut.

I hate my brother.
I don't know why he's treating me this way when he knows I'm still fragile.

If he sees it as a way to make me gain strength he has it wrong, because one person I needed most during the time of sadness was him.
And all he did was push me away and pulled attitudes and mean vibes to the subject.

So I had enough and let him go.

Just after I got back in bed, I couldn't sleep. But then my phone buzzed next to me and I saw it being a unknown number.

"Hello?" I whispered. "Adriana? Did I wake you?"
Shawn.

I smiled, rolling on to my back. "Not at all. Are you okay?" "Yeah, just a bit lonely." I chuckled. "Yeah, no kidding." "Would you come over?" My eyes grew big. "What?" "Please." "Shawn I'm sorry, I'm already in so much trouble because Keegan made up some stories about us." I heard him sighing and to be honest, I was sad too.

If I could, I would.
I'd go to him.
But I can't. "

I'm sorry. Goodnight." Before I could say anything else, he hung up.
"Okay... Goodnight?" I said to my phone before falling down on my bed again.

He's stuck on my mind.
Shit.