Changing | SM

Part 38: dinner

Adriana:

💞2 weeks later💞

I sometimes look at him, and wonder, out of all the faces in the world, how did I find someone so perfect to me?

We are all strange.
We just become good at pretending to be normal.
But being with Shawn feels more normal than normality ever will.

I'm still trying to learn everything there is to him, to find him on the same road I'm on. He's progressing and I love the results. He's doing good, and I don't normally like to change people, but when it helps them for the better, then that's okay with me.

-

after Shawn told me that he wants to love me, things were kind of awkward between us, but only for the moments that we catch each other staring, glancing and admiring.
That's weird.

I don't imagine him as someone admiring a companion but he did once... why not again? He's been over occasionally, for not only math classes but simply just to visit me.
"Hey Adriana, why don't you ask you boyfriend to stay over for dinner tonight?" Keegan said and I glared at him. "He's not my boyfriend!" I spat at him before punching his arm.
"Yes Adriana, tell Shawn he can stay over for dinner tonight. It'll be fun to host a boy of your age again."

My family loved Mason, more than they actually loved me, I think.
But that's good. Family needs to love the boy you love... just to accept him as a part of you.

"I'll ask him but I can't promise anything." I walked back up to my room where Shawn was spread out on my bed. "Hey, uhm... I have something to ask you." I scratched the back of my neck and I knew that by now my cheeks were burning red. "Yeah?" He rolled over on to his back and sat up on the edge of my bed.

I walked closer to him, seeing the smile on his face that made me smile too.
Washing away my nerves.
"What's up?" "My mum said I should ask you if you want to stay over for dinner?" I rambled out, speaking fast. He went silent for a few seconds. "That would be nice, but only if you want me to stay." He said. "What! Of course I want you to stay. It'll be ten times better with you here than eating dinner with Keegan." I rolled my eyes.

"But just know that questions will be asked about us and you and Keegan will do everything in his might to embarrass us and make the evening complete awful." He just nodded, taking in all the information I just gave him.
"Okay. I got it. Now come here." He grasped me in his arms, pulling me down to him and I fell down on the bed next to him.

The smile on his face was surreal, and I missed being looked at the way he looks at me. "Do you think that Mason will be happy for you if you find love again?"
"I think so. For some reason I always believed that wherever I open up to new love again it was sent by him. Is that weird?" I chuckled but he shook his head.

"Not at all." I want to love him too. And I think I'm getting there. "I like you. A lot." I whispered, scooting closer to him. Our faces inches away away, our lips centimeters.
"I uhm.. I like you too."
"You hesitated?" I questioned him but I knew he was still scared of opening up, I'm too. "I'm sorry." "It's okay Shawn. Everything takes time." I closed my eyes as I got even more comfortable on the bed.

A while later I felt his hand on my cheek, caressing my skin. I smiled, scooting even closer to him and hiding my face in the crook of his neck.
He was warm.
He wrapped his arm around me, drawing small circles on my back.

My smile faded, he does that too.
Only Mason ever did that.

What if Shawn is really sent to me? To make me fight for love again and not to give up on it like every other opportunity I passed by.

-

Some time later my mum called the two of us down for dinner. "Okay, take a breath and calm down." I said, taking his hand in mine as we stood by my door.
He closed his eyes, rolling his neck and shoulders before smiling at me again. "Okay, I'm ready for this." He walked out but I let go of his hand, not wanting Keegan to see and make up even more assumptions than these he already has.

We got downstairs and sat down for dinner.
He was on the edge of his seat, but in his nervousness he never looked so calm.