Changing | SM

Part 65: tears

Shawn:

She was sat down on the sidewalk, crying in to her hands.
This is it, nothing can repair this, even if she said that she's mine forever. I don't think anything can fix this.

We're back to being broken.

"Adriana, please let me explain to you what's going on!" I tried to help her up but she just pushed me away. "Leave me alone." She asked, not yelling.
Not screaming.
Politely asking me to just back off.

As I stepped away she stood up and started walking again, only to stop in her steps and turn back to me. "Is it true? Is this all just a bet, was I just another bet? You said you don't want me to be one of them, but yet that's all I am. Is that why you were so eager to let me give you classes, just to win at this fucking bet!" She yelled, crying her heart out.
I looked down at the ground.

"You know there are two types of people who can't look you in the eye. One trying to hide a lie, and one trying to hide love. You lied to me... and I hate you!"
"And what if it's both? What if I'm hiding both a love and lie Adriana." I looked in her eyes, but she laughed.

"Oh common Shawn. As if you ever loved me because it was all just part of your plan. Luring me in, taking and breaking and then leaving me. Like you promise you wouldn't. I guess I truly was just one of the other, another one to play around with."
"No! Don't ever say that! You are not like the other nor will you ever be, and I do love you! You know that. And yes, that was the reason I kept running back to you for lessons, but at the beginning. Things changed after I got to know you. I felt guilty for not telling you and even though you grew on me, still went through with the deal!" I yelled, tears burning in my eyes as I watch her slip even more away from me as the seconds gratuitously passed us by.

"I was so stupid to actually open up to love again. I knew I'd get hurt, but I thought you were different, I thought you were the one." She wiped her cheeks.
"I am. Just let me prove that to you." I grabbed her hand in mine, and I was surprised to see that she didn't pull away. She closed her eyes.

"You had that chance, and you showed me." She paused, sniffing again.
"I love you Mendes, more than you know. But clearly the tables have turned and you don't feel that way about me. I'm sorry, but I have to go." She left me like that, running back home.

"Fuck!" I yelled, kicking the can on the sidewalk as I sat down on the edge, running my hands through my hair.
I opened my hand, and in my palm lies the key to our house.

I lost her.
For real.

Tears immediately filled my eyes... I fucked up. "Shawn! Dude what's going on?" Brian yelled as he came running out of the house.
He's running towards me but in a zigzag.

"It's over man, I lost her. I knew coming to this party would've been a mistake!" I cried in to my knees as I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk.
He fell down next to me, trying to sit down but he keeps on swaying around. "You're drunk. I should get you home." I wiped my cheeks and nose, trying to look brave and act like I don't give a shit, but I do.

It hurts.

I got him in the car with a struggle but eventually got him buckled up as well.
"Don't open the door again!" I raised my voice at him after he repeatedly opened the door after I closed it, thinking it was a hilarious joke.

He sat still as I walked over to the drivers seat, getting in and taking off.
I got him to the house and helped him to get inside. It came to the point where I had to carry him bridal style to his bed. And Brian is not a light weighted guy.
"Thank you Shawn." He mumbled as I threw him down on his bed.

I was sniffing the entire way, and just as I wanted to walk away he grabbed ahold of my hand. "I tried talking you out of it, you know it. But now she knows, so make it right." Then he laughed again. "Get some rest Brian." I left him, walking down to my car again and driving home.

I just sat in my car as I looked at the house, seeing the porch light on, but no lights inside.
She's not here.

"I'm sorry." I sniffed. "I'm so sorry!" I cried louder, resting my forehead n the wheel.
But if she's not here, where is she? I immediately took off again. It's almost been an hour after she walked away so she needs to be somewhere by now.

"Hello Mr. Kendrick." I sniffed as he opened the door for me. He sighed, "Shawn. Come in." He stepped aside and let me walk in. "Is she h-here?" I sniffed, looking up at the stairs. "What happened?"
He's a calming man, and if my dad and I didn't make up... he'd be the closest I knew to family.

I just shook my head, crying harder. "I'm so sorry!" He pulled me in to a hug, patting my back as I cried in to his chest.
I never thought I'd come to this point of breaking. Crying my heart out in the chest of her father.

"She's upstairs." He whispered, letting me go and I looked up at him.
"Thank you sir." I slowly started walking up the stairs to her room...