Changing | SM

Part 106: what if

Adriana:

I don't know what's going on, but something is extremely wrong. It's not supposed to happen, I'm not supposed to feel this pain.
Shawn didn't even lock the house, he just rushed me outside and drove off to the hospital.

They didn't let him go any further with me than the emergency room. "Please tell me I'm not losing our baby. Please." The nurses didn't say anything for a while. Just doing scans and checkups, but later on I felt the contractions dying down and the pain was gone.

I still don't know if that's good or bad.
What does it mean?

"You're stable now and your baby is just fine Mrs. Kendrick. We don't surly know what happened, why the contractions were there and why they were so bad, but everything is okay. The baby is healthy and so are you." She smiled at me as she reassuringly gave me hand a squeeze.
"Thank you."
"No problem at all." She smiled over to me before walking out. Probably going to inform Shawn about the updates as he is still sat in the waiting room outside the door.

"Is she okay? What happened?"
"Your wife if perfectly fine.-"
Wife? Oh god I wish.
"The baby is healthy and she is too. You're due in three months. But uhm... try not to put stress on her if there's anything going on in her life or in the relationship. It's best to not have her over stressed because that might be the reason she experienced the heavy contractions."
"Okay. Thank you again."

It was about five seconds after when the door opened up and he peeked in. I just glanced over to him and then looked away. Not wanting or even needing to make a deep eye contact.
"I know you're mad at me, but you gave me a big scare back there." He sat down at the edge of the bed where I was laying. "At least you're okay." He sighed a breath of relief, cracking a small smile. "The baby is okay too you know."

"Please don't start again." He shook his head. "Shawn this is our baby. If something ever happens I want you to protect the baby by all costs, don't save me."
"What no!" His eyes grew big as he jumped up and looked at me. "What do you mean 'No'?"

"I won't lose you! I don't care about the baby Adriana, I care about you."
I know I shouldn't , but now he crossed the line... and he even knows it.
"I'm sor-"
"Shut up!" I pushed myself off the bed, trying to regain my balance on the floor as I stepped off.

"No you need to st-"
"Let go of me or I swear I'll murder you!" I balled my fist as I held it up to him. He let go me though, letting me go on my own. "My dad's picking me up and taking me home. You, however, you can talk to me again when you ever so decide to be a part of my baby's life." I walked out of the door of my room, in to the hall. Seeing my dad standing at the end with a wheelchair, rolling closer and helping me to take a seat.

"Adriana common, don't do this."
"Shawn, can you not for once, even if it's just for one small second, picture your future where it's not just me and you? Can you try that? Tell me how it feels when you see a small you and me with us, making us a family. Cause if you cannot see that, and I'm dead serious about this, then I'm sorry. But I won't leave this child and if I have to raise it on my own then I will. But I need a man and she needs a father to support her." He cracked a small smile, very very small.

"It's a girl, if you even care to know." Just like that, it faded again. The 'oh so small smile', vanished by my words.
"Adriana."
"Call me if you can see that. A bigger future than the one we have. Goodbye Shawn." I kissed his hand as my dad wheeled me away, down the halls.

I peeked over my shoulder, looking back at him. God he's so sexy, but he makes me so mad at some times.
I love him. Gosh I love him.
But loving isn't always easy, but then again I wouldn't want to love anyone else.

I don't want to fight, win challenges and argue with anyone other than him. I just wish he'll fight too. I wish he'll see beyond the barrier and try new things, open up to new expectations and experiences that can make him more than who he is now.
Fulfill bigger dreams that he has long ago dreamed and which are now long forgotten. He still has the trouble of not being able to open his eyes, see things for what they are and for what he has... before they vanish and never return.

He lost so many, but now he gained so much. If only he noticed.

What if he just noticed.