Part 48: first time

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Adriana:

It was a rushing feeling, like my entire body, everything within me was out of control.
It's strange how big of an effect it has on your body.
You feel in control but at the same time your not, a warm feeling washes over you from head to toe and your breathing... you don't have breath but at the same time you breathe in what one another is exhaling.

I sat up, my lips not disconnecting from his at any second. My hands traveling up his bare chest to his hair and I gently tugged on his roots as I knotted my fingers in his hair. Hearing and feeling the small moan escaping his lips, making me smile into the kiss.
I sat down on his lap, my legs around his waist as his hands slowly and teasingly moved up my thighs on to my back.

He slipped his hands in under my shirt, lifting it up as he moved his hand up my back.
It was nighttime, and sleeping with a bra is not on my agenda.
I felt his fingertips caressing my skin before pulling my shirt over my head. His eyes directly moving from mine down to my chest. I felt shy, but in a good way.

I want him to love me like I'm perfect, and that nothing is wrong with me.

"You're beautiful. So beautiful." He whispered, slowly kissing down my neck to just above my chest. I closed my eyes, throwing my head back as I felt pleasure tingling through my entire body.
"What happened?" He asked, tracing the small scar just above my breast with the tip of his finger. "Don't worry about it." I whispered, cupping his cheeks again and pressing my lips to his.

His lips are very plump, perfect to kiss, and the way he kisses me makes me feel things in ways I never felt before.
Here where we lie I see things in a different way as well, the way he looks at me, the way his eyes sparkle when he touches me, the way his hands feel and his body moves.

"I know you said you didn't want to, but I don't want anyone else but you Shawn. If you're not comfortable with going further that's okay." I said to him, his hands running through my hair and he had a confused look on his face of what he needs to do next.
"I just, I don't want to hurt you." He looked down, his eyes breaking contact with mine.

"Hey. Look at me." I whispered, my fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I know you won't." His eyes were still filled with a sense of fear but a smile creeped on to his face.
"I promise you I won't." He pecked my lips before kissing down my neck again.
His plump lips tracing their way down the gorge of my chest to the hem of my shorts.

It wasn't long before the both of us were gazing around the room at our clothes thrown to every corner.

"Are you sure about this?" I looked in his eyes, waiting for a answer. He just kissed me deeply. Enhancing the passions within seconds.
"Are you?" He whispered.
His voice full of concern as he looked at me, positioning himself on top of me, hovering over my body and never breaking eye contact. I nodded.

A few seconds where we just looked at each other seemed to pass by very slowly.
"Are you okay?" He asked as I squeezed my eyes shut as pain shot through me. "Yeah just give me a few seconds."
It was sore, to just adjust, and I could feel the concern coming from him.

He brushed my hair out of my face and kissed down my neck. It was very sore, for the first time to just adjust, but as soon as I did and he slowly started moving the pain was overflowed with pleasure and our moans filled the room.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked after a while. "No! Just- don't. Stop." I breathlessly kissed him and only then I felt him calming down.
He just then started enjoying our moment.

The time passing slowly, but I'm not complaining.
Running off never felt his good.

My nails digging in to his back as his hands firmly but gently and lovingly gripped on to my body. As if it all moved in slow motion, I watched his every move.
He's gorgeous. Beautiful.
And he left me with more than just a smile, but a overjoyed heart and the feeling of satisfaction.

He breathlessly collapsed down on top of me, his head resting on my chest as I smiled up to the ceiling. Closing my eyes to take in the moment. "Thank you." I whispered, caressing his cheek. He looked up at me, "You're so beautiful." He knows just how to make me feel special.
He knows exactly what drives me crazy.

It's strange though, this was my first time. I didn't do it with Mason, whom I've known for years, yet with Shawn it was such a deep connection, as if I've known him my entire life. When it was months.
Weeks.

"Your heartbeat." He whispered. "What about it?" "It's good to hear it. It makes me happy to see that I can make a heart beat instead of dying it down." I flipped us over, lying down on top of him. "Does it sound stupid when I say I only truly feel like I'm alive when I'm around you?"
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" He asked as his hands combed through my hair.
"It's a great thing." He locked me in his arms and I too heard his heartbeat.

It's a beautiful melody.
Just like that, in his arms is where I want to be my entire life. It feels safe, it feels secure.

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