Changing | SM

Part 40: loving in the dark

Adriana:

The words he said about me, what he sees in me and what he loves about me... I don't know if that was it all but it meant the world to me.

The way he said it and how he spoke touched my heart.

When I came back in the house nor my mum or Keegan talked to me. They were silent. I liked it. "I can't believe you kicked him out mum. That's really low." I said before walking up to my room.

I'm feeling lonely here, and I want to get away. I saved the best of me for the heart that understood the worst of me.
That's Shawn.

He understands and he gets me for who I am. He understands my tears and the reason behind them.
A complete stranger became my hideaway, he became my story, he became my friend... he became my life.

-

It was past eleven and I was still tossing and turning in my bed, thinking about everything.
I stood up, getting my slippers and a hoodie before walking down. I don't have a license yet, but I know a bit of driving.
But instead of causing an accident, I just took the bicycle.

The cold, autumn air was eating away my skin with every harsh wind blowing over me. With every breath I let out a deep fog blurred my vision.
But eventually I arrived there and without hesitation I walked in.
The wooden floors creaking as I stepped closer to him.

"Hey! Who's there? Get out!" He yelled, jumping up from his mattress and grabbing a bat laying beside him.
"No no no. Shawn, Shawn. It's me. Hey, It's me!" I grabbed his hands so he doesn't hit me with the darn bat.
"Adriana? Oh my god, I could've killed you!" He dropped the bat before pulling me in to a tight hug.
His breathing was heavy but it calmed down after he held me for a while.

It's weird how when I'm with him in a serious situation, he calms down really quickly.

"What are you doing here?" "I felt alone." I whispered to him. "I actually need to talk to you." He sighed. "Listen about tonight I'm sorry about my mum and Keegan. That was really unnecessary of them." I said as he sat back down on his mattress.
I took the chair standing by the window and looked at him.

"That's okay. I uhm... I wanted to say I'm sorry, for about the past."
"What do you mean?" I chuckled, not understanding what he's on about.
"When we first met I was rude to you, I called you fat in the cafeteria, I made your life hell and I abused you. I despised you for a few weeks, but when you showed me your soft heart as to giving me extra classes in order to just help me, I started thinking a lot about things. I very soon realize how you made me felt when I was around you and I wanted to stay the way I was when I'm with you. You were home for me, and that's why I tried to stay at yours for as long as I could. But after that I ruined you by making you bring back the past and I-"
"Stop." I interrupted him.

His eyes locked on mine and I saw the surrealist sadness in his eyes about how he treated me in the past. "That's the past. And I actually appreciate it that you made me tell you because now I feel like I can move on and open up to new things and new love."
"I am not perfect. I am sometimes selfish. Occasionally self destructive and prone to very brief, yet severe, spells of sadness. But I will fight till every bone in my body is broken to protect you. I promise you that." He said.

"You're perfect for me." I stood up from the seat, walking over to him and crouching down in front of him, between his legs.
I smiled as our eyes locked on each other's, his hand cupped my cheek before brushing away a strand of hair. "You're so beautiful." I said as I traced the outline of his lips with the tip of my thumb.
"I love how you find the most confusing and ugliest master piece a beautiful piece of work." "It's not hard, if you understand it." I whispered back to him.

"What are we doing?"
"Loving in the dark." I said really quickly before pressing my lips to his.

I never felt this rush and adrenaline through me to go out and do something I was never capable of doing. He didn't pull away though, hesitating at first, but then he moved closer, deepening the kiss and our lips moved in sync.

"Bad boy. Good lips." I mumbled after pulling away from him. "Wow." Was all he said, making me smile as butterflies fluttered around in my tummy.

I longed to have this feeling again, and he gave me that in overdrive. "Who knew loving can be this easy?" He smiled before turning us around, pulling me on to the mattress and he hovered over me.
His eyes never losing contact with mine and his hands were intertwined with mine above my head.

"Finally. I get to kiss you." I said, bucking up to peck his lips again. He laughed, making me smile, but then he just looked at me again. He's poetry. But some words can't even begin to describe him.
"When I saw you at first for who you really are it took every ounce of me not to kiss you. When I saw you laughing it took ever ounce of me to not fall in love with you. And when I saw your soul... it took every ounce of me." He said, brushing a piece of hair out of my face again before intertwining his hands with mine above my head.

He leaned down to me again, his warm breath hitting my skin and I never felt more relaxed.
"I made rules about love for myself after experiencing what I experienced. But with you, I broke them all." He pressed his lips to mine. Kissing me roughly but gently.
You can still taste the small flavour of nicotine in his mouth, but the feeling of his lips on mine, his tongue fighting for dominance against mine and the sloppy yet caring kisses down my neck felt like something I never felt before.

Finally being touched by him and loved in the way he loves is a new adventure I cannot wait to start with him.

"Get some sleep." He whispered, resting his forehead against mine as he cupped my cheek. Nothing can describe this moment and how it feels.

I-I love him.