Changing | SM

Part 84: relieved

Adriana:

I don't know where my mind is taking me off to but I'm not here. I can see everyone is questioning me and what I'm hiding, but I don't even know what's going on.
I walked upstairs to his room and just sat down in the bed.

As I let out a deep shaky breath I started crying. Clamping my hand over my mouth so my sobs doesn't alert anyone in the house of my moment of weakness.
"Adriana?" His voice made me swallow some of my tears, but also just brought more to my eyes.
He closed the door behind him and I saw his footsteps lining up to me. He was walking slowly, probably still a bit drowsy from all the medication they gave him.

"Adriana, baby. What's going on?" He crouched down in front of me, but I just launched in to his arms. Sobbing out in his neck as I held him even tighter by the second.

He didn't speak.
Not a single word. He just rubbed my back, pulling me closer to him till I was sat on his lap, straddling him.

"I'm just relieved." I croaked out after a full fit of crying. I pulled away, wiping my cheeks clean as I looked up at him. Still sniffing hard as my body was hiccuping to get all the emotions out.
"About what?"
"That you're okay." I cried again.
He cupped my cheeks, pulling me in to another hug. Kissing down my jaw line to my neck before pecking my cheek. "Thank you for never leaving my side." He whispered in my ear. I pulled away, locking my eyes on his before crashing my lips to his.

It wasn't long before the kiss got more intense, feeling him licking my bottom lip as he asked for entrance.
Our tongues were fighting for dominance and I felt safe again. He pulled away, breathlessly as I rested my forehead against his.
"I'm sorry, I just don't want to pass out with all this medication."
"Yeah imagine that." We laughed, breaking the tension of the up building moment. But the laughter died down after a few second and we just looked at each other.

"I love you so much Adriana." I pecked his lips again. "You should get some sleep."
"Why didn't you say it back?" I was silent. "Common."
"No. Not till you say it." I sighed, "Why so eager to hear it Mendes?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Because you've been on an emotional roller coaster ever since the day of the accident and even now, you're not here. And I fear that you're starting to doubt ever even loving me and that it's all just a drag in your life to stay with me. That you changed your mind over the past few days or that you realized you deserve better!" He said all in one breath, tears pricking in his eyes as he looked at me.
"Please." I felt sad, seeing how he thinks when I don't reply with three simple words.
But even though they are small, they carry so much meaning.

They are powerful.
They can make or break anything. And that just proves to me how deeply he'd already fallen in love with me.

It scares me.
But I love him too.
I'm just... ugh. I'm so confused lately and I don't know why. "Please don't think that. Don't ever think that." I cupped his cheeks, kissing his forehead, cheeks, nose, neck, lips... all over. Just to make him feel okay.

He sighed, "I need some air." He sighed deeply, gently pushing me off his lap and stood up, walking back downstairs and I heard the back door opening and closing.
I rested with my back against the wall, running my hands through my hair.

"What are you doing Adriana?" I talked to myself.

Why am I fucking this up?